"Line Count - 121 (cut 1 line please) Elinor P - 26 Olive P - 47 Ari P - 27 Ranger Rabbit P - 12 " 1. Ext. Forest -- day "Overall a good start, nice job. This is a new tone for us, and a different kind of topic, so we are learning a lot and feeling our way through. Top level notes: - Think we may have swung too much from the outline in the direction of front-loading the episode. Feel like we have too many beats now before we get to the tree and to the tree falling. - Feel we need to establish a little better and from the get-go what Olive wants, and hype up the tree a little more. Cut down on the science lesson in the beginning. - Think we need another element to the story, just to add another layer and to give Ranger Rabbit an excuse to be on the scene. Suggesting we go back to the idea of a weather event. The writing is good throughout on a local level (nice job), with great moments and dialogue. Unfortunately, I think we we are still finding the right overall structure. Suggest we partition the episode on this page budget outline: Page 1: Kids getting to the tree. Hype up the tree, establish what Olive wants. Pages 2-4: We get to the tree! We learn what the tree means to Olive. Ari discovers the acorn and we learn the life cycle up to the current tree. The kids find a few important clues: the bark and the branch. The kids go home, it's starting to get windy. Page 5: Day transition. Suggest we add back a weather element. There were strong winds overnight, and the next day the kids are walking with Ranger Rabbit checking that the forest is ok. Page 6: Olive remembers her tree and goes to check on it, but discovers it fell over. Oh no! Pages 7-8: Initially on their own, but then joined by Ranger Rabbit, the kids have a moment where they figure something out: they realize what the clues from yesterday meant. Page 9: Olive feels sad. Let's delve on that and what that means for her. Page 10-11: Ranger Rabbit explains about life cycles and wildlife trees, and they go visit a nearby one. Page 12: the kids sing the song. Page 13: wrap up. Specific notes on each section below. Sorry for the outline-level changes. I think this is a special one. Thanks! " a really nice first draft. and super sweet....kinda got me emotional a bit at the end. :) On a beautiful spring day, ELINOR <GIGGLES> as she hides behind a fallen log. Lines 1-29: This is a clever idea to embed the lesson in a game, and there's really great dialogue and action here. But looking at the episode as a whole, I think we need to get to the tree sooner. (sorry if I let you astray before) Your idea of using the acorn to launch a discussion of the life cycle is good, so let's put the lesson there, but do it at the tree rather than here before the tree. It pains me, but suggest we skip these lines and start the episode on the current Scene 2. (I think we can use some of the lines elsewhere, see notes later below). Elinor Hee, hee... he’ll never find m-- Before Elinor can even finish, ARI interrupts her. Ari (O.S.) Found you, Elinor! A confused Elinor looks around, but doesn’t see Ari anywhere, until she looks up and sees Ari flying above her. Ari (CONT’D) Up here! And found you too, Olive. Come on out from behind that tree. OLIVE reveals herself. Elinor Wow, Ari! You’re such a good finder. Olive (good-naturedly) Maybe we have to make a new rule: No flying when we play hide and seek. It makes it too easy for you. As Ari speaks, we go wide to reveal the part of the forest they’re in doesn’t have many trees. Ari Well, it’s also easy ‘cause there aren’t very many trees to hide behind. the point ari is making is that there arent many trees to hide behind - maybe olives lines should be to understand that point but also share that there are lots 'well not many to hide behind but there are lots of trees here' OlIVE But, Ari, there’s LOTS of trees here. Ari and Elinor look around, they see only three trees. Elinor Really? But I only see (counting) One...two...three trees! OLIVE Those are just the big, grown-up trees, Elinor. There are lots of OTHER trees here too. Rather than be confused, Elinor is intrigued by this idea. elinor Uhhh - Where? Olive points to a sprout growing out of the ground. OLIVE Right here! ARI Isn’t that a weed? after line 13 - it reads that elinor takes out her magnifying glass - she doesnt carry it - olive does in her satchel. olive can take it out after aris line 14 'here, take a closer look' and hands it to elinor. then elinor can be looking at it closely as olive says line 15. OLIVE (proud of her knowledge) Nope, it’s a sprout. That’s what a tree looks like when it first pops out of the ground. Elinor pulls out her magnifying glass. MAGNIFIED POV: as she and her friends get down on their knees and look at the sprout. ARI That’s a tree? Olive It’s a baby tree - part of the tree’s life cycle. ElINOR Life cycle? What’s a life cycle? haha ARI I know. My mom has one of those in the garage. She loves to exercise. start with a giggle - and suggest ending with her searching through her book before line 19 - 'umm - as she flips through a few pages' ah here it is' then line 19 OliVE I think that’s a different kind of life cycle. This is like how you used to be a baby and now you’re a kid, then one day you’ll be a grown up. Trees are the same. I’ll show you. Olive opens her nature book, which has a diagram of the life cycle of a tree, with pictures of each stage of the life cycle. Olive (CONT’D) See? Trees start out as tiny seeds, then little sprouts that grow into saplings like this one and finally, big grown-up trees ELINOR But if trees start from seeds, where do the seeds come from? At this moment Ari leans against a tree, an acorn falls and BOPS him on the head. ARI It’s okay, I’m fine, everybody. It was just an acorn. As Ari picks up the acorn, he looks at it, then looks back at the tree as a lightbulb goes off for him. ARI (CONT’D) Wait a minute... is an acorn a tree seed? Olive Uh-huh. My Mom told me acorns are oak tree seeds - and this is an oak tree. ElINOR Wow, Olive you sure know a lot about trees. OLIVE Yeah. I really love them. So does my Mom. They look up at the oak, which stands tall above them. Ari I’ll bet a big tree like this makes a lot of acorns. Olive If you think this tree is big, you should see my special tree. It’s the biggest, bestest tree ever! Wanna see? ElINOR/ari Yes!!! OLIVE Come on! 2. EXT. forEST -- later As the kids continue to walk through the forest, Ari begins to fidget and points at a random tree. Lines 30-36: I think we can start the episode here. And expand this section to 1 or 1.5 pages. It might be funny to start the episode as is, with Ari asking Olive "are we there yet?" and the audience wondering where they are going. But at around line 35, have Olive explain where they are going. This first scene should do a few things: have a funny opening; establish the plot: we are going to Olive's special tree. This is what Olive wants in this episode: to feel the comfort of the tree, and to share that with her friends. We want to hype up the tree a little bit here, so that when we see it later it feels special. Note: it feels a little cliche for me to suggest we open an episode enroute to somewhere (we seem to do it a lot), so maybe find a way to vary it up a little? Maybe our kids are skipping through a shallow stream, or going through some bramble, or climbing small boulders or something. Or if we're trying to add a more urban feel, as per recent discussions, maybe this tree is near the center of town (just outside the center, with buildings in sight), and the kids are initially walking along the buildings and stores. Ari the action of ari pointing doesnt work with his dialogue - he isnt saying 'is this your tree?' - 'what about that one?' Are we at your tree yet, Olive? OlIVE No. ARI What about now? OLIVE No. Ari waits a comically short beat. ARI What about now? Olive Yes! line 36 to 37 seems to have a disconnect - when olive says theyre at the tree - we the audience and the kids wont see it yet - suggest olive says -' ..right through here' the come out of the forest and into the clearing as you have it. Ari (surprised) Really?! That’s never worked before. 3. Ext. Forest clearing ON A HILL -- cONTINUOUS As the kids leave the forest, they enter a clearing, where they find one lone oak tree high up on a picturesque hill, all by itself. The sun is shining right on the tree, giving it a majestic look that the kids marvel at. <SFX: WHOA WALLA> "Lines 37-66: This section feels right in terms of length (3-3.5 pages) and what happens, but let's follow these beats: - The kids get to the tree. Wow, it's a beautiful tree. Olive explains why it's special to her (I like the bit about her mom and grandma). Edit out the references to the life cycle lesson we've now moved to later. - The montage of the kids playing is good, but instead of crossfading out of it, have Ari get hit by the acorn. Use this an the excuse for Olive to explain that it's a seed, and that this tree was once a seed, then a sapling (which they can observe nearby) and then it grew into this big tree. Let's not get into why it's the only tree in the clearing (it seems like a detour we don't resolve anyway). Let's also not make it too lecture-y. Use kid terms (kids wouldn't use words like Life Cycle or Mature). At the end of this little subsection, Olive reiterates why the tree is important to her. - As they are learning, Ari accidentally breaks the branch, and it plays out as in 59-63. After this branch beat, have Olive also make the observation that the bark looks a little different lately. - The kids remember it's time for dinner and head home. The kids note it's getting windy. Olive says goodbye to the tree in a sweet moment. It's her friend. " OlIVE Why is olive saying ‘I know’ - at the top of this line. Suggest adding a reaction from ari and elinor to make this work I know. My Mom and I come here all the time. It’s our favourite spot. ELINOR Now THAT is no sapling. Olive Nope. This tree is a grown-up - that’s called mature. ELINOR Ooh... mature. That’s a good word! is the audience going to understand 'its our tree' - does this need further explanation - maybe instead - 'its a special place my family has always come to visit' OLIVE It’s been around so long my Mom used to come here when she was little and her Mom used to come here before that. It’s our tree. ELINOR That’s so nice. Ari Sooo, what do we do at your tree, Olive? OLIVE Anything we want! MONTAGE OF the kids having fun at Olive’s tree: They chase each other around, playing tag. Olive and Elinor go one way, Ari goes the other - boo! They (safely) climb the tree, using its many branches to brace themselves. Olive helps Elinor up, but Ari just flutters to a higher branch. Finally, the kids sit under the shady tree and each share a snack from Olive’s bag as they watch the sunset in the distance. CROSSFADE TO: 4. Ext. FoREST clearing -- dusk Elinor is watching the sun going down as Olive draws in her notebook. Suddenly, Ari’s upside down head pops down from the top of frame. As he talks, we pull out to reveal he is hanging from a branch. ARI Whatcha doing now, Olive? OLIVE Drawing a picture of my special tree. I do a new one every time I come up here. I’ve been here so many times I’ve almost filled up this whole book! ARI Cool. Ari flutters down and joins his friends at the bottom of the tree. A quiet beat as they enjoy the sunset Elinor I wonder how your special tree got all the way up here on the top of the hill. OlIVE Well, we know it started with an acorn. A THOUGHT BUBBLE above her head as she imagines how the tree began. suggets the thought bubble is from ari - as he says that maybe the acorn walked up the hill - we show an acorn with legs walking up. then olive has her next line about them not having legs - we see the legs pop off, and the acorn rolls down the hill - we track back down to the kids ARI Maybe the acorn walked up here itself? OlIVE Acorns don’t have legs, Ari. Someone must have brought it up here. ARI Riiight. Maybe pirates thought the acorns were treasure and buried them. ELINOR Or maybe one of Philbert’s squirrel-friends did. Squirrels do love acorns. The THOUGHT BUBBLE bursts. reads a bit old - suggest 'well i just love that it’s the only tree on this hill. That’s why it’s so special.' Olive However it got up here, it’s the only tree on this hill. That’s why it’s so special. Elinor Well, it’s getting late. We should be heading back soon. Ari Aww... but we just got here! Can’t we stay a little bit longer?! ELINOR Ari, we don’t want to be late for dinner. Suddenly, Ari changes his tune completely. Nice beat here :) Ari Dinner?! Wait, I’m coming! In his hurry, Ari puts his hands on the branch to pull himself up and we hear the SFX: CREAK of wood breaking as the branch snaps and falls to the ground with an SFX: THUD! Luckily, Ari flaps his wings and safely glides to the ground. Elinor Oh, no! Are you okay? ARI Oh, yeah. I’m fine. OLIVE But what about my tree, it broke its branch! Olive puts a comforting hand on the tree, but Elinor, in turn, puts a comforting hand on her. ElINOR (O.S.) I think it’ll be okay, Olive. It has lots of branches, so it won’t miss just one. OLIVE Yeah, I guess you’re right. ELINOR We’ll come back tomorrow to check on your tree and have some more fun! Ari And maybe a picnic too! Olive takes a satisfied <SIGH> and closes up her book. On the day/night transition, add a beat where we see the wind blowing hard over Animal Town. Olive Sounds good! See you tomorrow, tree! As the kids start walking back, Olive once again puts a comforting hand on her tree. As she walks away, we push in a bit on the tree as we see a piece of the bark fall off. Dissolve to: 5. EXT. ANIMAL TOWN NIGHT TO MORNING We see the sun set over Animal Town, then rise again - another beautiful day! 6. EXT. foREST CLEARING -- day Elinor, Olive and Ari all happily head up the clearing, now carrying a picnic basket. "Lines 67-71: I think we need a bit more story to give the episode a little extra layer or extra ""happenin'"". Let's expand this set of lines to 1.5-2 pages with these beats: - It's the next day, and some strong winds blew through Animal Town in the night. While keeping it positive (and not too alarming for little kids), our kids are walking around with Ranger Rabbit, assessing the aftermath to make sure the forest is ok: they see fallen branches here and there, a bit of debris, lots of leaves on the ground. - Olive remembers her friend the tree and runs over to check on it. Elinor and Ari follow. They find the tree: it's toppled over! (My feeling is that adding the wind also makes what happens a little easier for kids to process: i.e. something happened and the tree died; rather than the tree just died. If you disagree, happy to discuss)." Elinor I can’t wait to play tag again! Ari Well, I can’t wait to climb-- Suddenly, Olive interrupts Ari, as she exclaims: Olive <GASP!> My tree! ARI Exactly! I can’t wait to climb your tree. OLIVE No, my tree! Look! The kids all look up to see that Olive’s tree has fallen down! They all quickly run to inspect the scene to find the tree has fallen over and it’s roots are exposed. (NOTE: That seems to be what happens when a tree succumbs to root rot, but this should be checked.) "Lines 72-76: These lines where the kids still think they can save the tree are so tragic! - Let's add a beat where the kids see the tree, and figure out that the wind must have pushed it over." Olive (CONT’D) What happened? ELINOR It looks like the tree just... fell over? Ari Okay, no problem. I’ll just... (Ari tries to lift the tree, but quickly realizes that’s not happening.) Nope. Too heavy! Meanwhile Olive is very worried about her tree. Change the first sentence here to something more like, "Oh no, poor tree!" Olive (despondent) perhaps we can push the emotional aspect here. 'but we have to help it. my tree cant stay on the ground. what are we going to do!?' My tree can’t stay on the ground. What are we going to do? Elinor thinks, but shakes her head. Rather than Elinor going to go get her mom, just have Ranger Rabbit catch up to them. ELINOR I’m not sure. (then, idea) But I know just who to ask. Wait right here! As Elinor runs off with purpose, we: Flip to: 7. EXT. forEST CLEARING -- DAY Ranger Rabbit inspects the fallen tree, looking at the wood and the bark as the kids stand by, watching hopefully. "Lines 77-81: Let's add a story beat here where: - Ranger Rabbit arrives, notes what happened. - After 80, let's work in a little bit where Elinor ties the observations they saw earlier (the branch and the bark) to what happened. Just to add an element of observation and reasoning to this episode. Elinor and Ari point out that the branch broke off easily, and that the bark looked different than other oak trees. Did that mean the tree was sick? Ranger Rabbit confirms those were all signs the tree was sick." Elinor So... is there a way to put the tree back in the ground, Mom? RaNGER RABBIT Sorry, kids, but this tree was very old and it looks like it got sick. That’s why it fell over. Olive Trees get sick? RANGER RABBIT Yes they can, Olive. And it looks like this one has been sick for a while. The inside was starting to hollow out. See? The kids look at the bottom of the tree and see that there is a big hole in the middle of the tree. Tie it to the wind: it was too weak to support itself, so when the strong wind blew, the tree fell over. RANGER RABBIT (CONT’D) Once the tree got sick, it became too weak to support itself and just... fell over. As Ranger Rabbit talks, this all begins to sink in for Olive. OLIVE So... we can’t put my tree back up... ever? RANGER RABBIT I’m afraid not, Olive. OLIVE Oh, no. Olive is truly upset. Ranger Rabbit puts her arms around her. RANGER RABBIT I’m so sorry Olive. Elinor told me this was your special tree. I think we can draw out her feelings a bit more. It goes by a little quickly. Maybe here she takes out her drawings of the tree she's made over the years. Bring in line 108 to 110. OLIVE again ,pmaybe push the emotion here 'Uh-huh. for my whole family...And now I’ll never climb it again.' Uh-huh. And now I’ll never climb it again. Olive buries her head in Ranger Rabbit’s shoulder and they share a hug. Add a hug from her friends too. RANGER RABBIT That’s true. And it’s very sad. But, Olive, can I tell you something that might make you feel a little better. Olive looks at Ranger Rabbit seriously. OLIVE Uh-huh. RANGER RABBIT Your special tree is still going to be around for many more years. It’s going to be what we Park Rangers call a wildlife tree. OlIVE What’s a wildlife tree? Here on this line lets break it up after "life cycle", and have Ranger Rabbit talk about what a life cycle is, referencing the tree's life from acorn to big tree. Then she talks about the last stage, which is when the tree dies and becomes a wildlife tree. RANGER RABBIT A wildlife tree is the very last step in a tree’s life cycle and it’s a very important step because wildlife trees provide shelter and food to many creatures in the forest. OLIVE So, my tree is going to become a home for lots of creatures...on the ground? RANGER RABBIT That’s right. OLIVE Oh. I guess that’s not so bad. After 95, have Ranger Rabbit walk them over to an existing and old wildlife tree nearby, to illustrate the concept for the kids at home. Then they go back for 96. RANGER RABBIT And as this tree slowly breaks down over the years, it will provide food to the soil, which will help new plants and trees grow in its place. Olive sits down on her tree. Olive I know that’s a good thing, but I’m still gonna miss seeing it stand up big and tall. Elinor sits down beside her friend and puts her arm around her. ELINOR I know it was a really pretty tree, Olive. But just think of all the new kinds of fun we can have with it now that it’s a wildlife tree. Ari sits on the other side and puts his arm around Olive too. ARI We’ll come visit all the time. Who knows what creature might come and live here. ElINOR It’ll be soooo interesting. And we’ll make LOTS of observations. OLIVE (finally accepting) I guess it will be pretty cool to see what kinds of creatures make my tree their home. Ranger rabbit I don’t think you’re going to have to wait very long. Look! Ranger Rabbit points. The kids look over and see a salamander crawl up inside a hollowed out section of the tree’s trunk and curl for a nap. <SFX: WHOAA/AMAZING WALLA> sounds a bit old Olive You were right, Elinor. This next stage in my tree’s life cycle might be kinda interesting after all. As Olive finally cracks a smile, music rises. The kids sing a song while dancing around the wildlife tree. Great song! Olive/Elinor/Ari A tree grows from big to small No matter the size, we love them all! They clean the air and give us shade! Trees are the best thing nature ever made! ELINOR: It starts with a seed planted in the ground That becomes a sprout, poking up from the ground! ARI Next it’s a sapling, as big as me But real soon, it’s a full grown tree! OLIVE: Then one day, it’s a wildlife tree Just as important I hope you’ll see Because it helps new plants and trees to grow And it’s a home to lots of creatures we know! ALL: A tree grows from big to small No matter the size, we love them all! They clean the air and give us shade! Trees are the best thing nature ever made! 8. Ext. ForEST CLEARING -- Dusk After the song, as the sun sets in the distance again, Olive draws in her notebook, sitting on the ground with her back against the wildlife tree as Ari, Elinor and Ranger Rabbit walk over to her. Elinor How are you feeling now, Olive? Olive Better, thanks. I’m just finishing up the very last page of my sketch book. Olive turns the book around to show the kids a drawing of all of them around the wildlife tree. ranger rabbit Very nice. Delete line. ELINOR instead 'can we see some of the other drawings you made?' only because olive already explained that the sketch book is filled with drawings of the tree. What other drawings do you have in there? Olive then flips the pages through the book as she narrates a few of her drawings. Move these lines to earlier when Olive is mourning the tree. OLIVE (O.S.) This was the time my mom and I camped out right here. We counted the stars all night, then slept under our tree! (then) And this was the time I spent all day here raking up all of my tree’s leaves and making it super pretty. (then) And this... was the very first time my mom brought me here and taught me how to climb. As Olive says that, she gets a little sad. RANGER RABBIT It sounds like you had a lot of really fun times with this tree. Olive Yeah, I did. Me and my Mom. RANGER RABBIT Aww, I know your Mom loves trees as much as you do. We can go and tell her what happened together, okay. OLIVE Okay. Thanks, Ranger Rabbit. Ari sees something off in the distance. Ari Olive, look! (Ari points) I spot a sprout! Ari then leads the kids over to the top of the hill, right next to where Olive’s tree used to stand to find a tiny sprout sticking out of the ground. We go close on the sprout as the kids excitedly crowd around. Olive You’re right, Ari. It is a tree sprout. ELINOR And there are no other trees around, which means... OLIVE This sprout must be from an acorn that fell off my tree! (Olive gets up and pats the wildlife tree.) Did you see that, tree? It’s your SPROUT! And I’ll come back every day to visit and take care of it, so that one day it’ll grow up big and tall, just like you. Really nice way to end the episode, great job. No more notes after this line. Thanks! Elinor Looks like you’re gonna need another sketchbook, Olive. As Olive smiles and takes a seat on the stump of her wildlife tree, we: FADE OUT.

EWW 146 Olive's Tree D1 August 28, 2019 .

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ELINOR WONDERS WHY EP 146 Olive's Tree By: Michael Foulke Elinor’s Question: How do we fix Olive's favorite tree? Logline: When Olive’s favorite tree falls over, her friends try to figure out how to fix it for her, but the answer may be more complicated than they thought. Curriculum Goals: LS4 . Understand that all animals and plants have a life cycle, can reproduce, and change and grow over time. (Elinor and her friends trace the life cycle of an oak tree). ND4: Appreciate the way that elements in the natural world change, interact and are re-used.(Elinor and her friends observe the ways the apple tree was used in the past (for shade, for climbing – and the way it is used now that it’s fallen – as a home for forest creatures). SEP 1: Asking questions (science) c. Ask and/or identify cause and effect questions that can be answered by an investigation. (Elinor and her friends investigate why the tree fell.) SEP 6: Constructing explanations (science) a. Use back-ground knowledge experiences, and data to construct reasonable explanations and theories of natural phenom-ena (science) (Elinor and her friends conclude that the tree fell because it was old and diseased). SEP 7: Engaging in argument from evidence a. Engage in discussions before, during, and after investigations b. Support thinking and argue ideas with evidence (Elinor and her friends theorize as they examine the evidence around and including the fallen tree). MAINS: Elinor, Ari, Olive, Ranger Rabbit SECONDARY: None LOCATIONS: Forest, Forest clearing PROPS: Acorns, Picnic Basket, Picnic Blanket Outline: July 23, 2019 First Draft: August 28, 2019 Elinor Ari Olive Ranger rabbit ELINOR/ari/ranger rabbit Olive/elinor/ari Art O (V.O.) (O.S.) (O.C.) (CONT'D) (SUBTITLE) INT EXT I/E 7 FOREST FOREST CLEARING -- DUSK FOREST CLEARING -- DAY EXT. FOREST CLEARING -- DAY DAY NIGHT AFTERNOON MORNING EVENING LATER MOMENTS LATER CONTINUOUS THE NEXT DAY MAGIC HOUR DAWN DUSK SAME SAME TIME CUT TO: FADE IN: FADE OUT. FADE TO: DISSOLVE TO: BACK TO: MATCH CUT TO: JUMP CUT TO: FADE TO BLACK. SMASH CUT TO: CUT TO BLACK. TIME CUT: Order Title Location CHARACTER CHARACTER'S ARC