Very nice work, Paul and Shane. Fun comedy throughout, hits all the beats, and fun to read. Mostly line tweaks below. There is some concern that some of the lines and action feel a little adult, just keep that in mind on your next pass. Thanks! Line Count - 99 Elinor P - 28 Olive P - 32 Ari P - 25 Mz. Mole P - 12 Koa A - 1 (try to avoid characters having one line) 1. EXT. outside school -- morning this is coming together nicely. very funny moments as well ELINOR skips to school, <HUMMING> merrily. The sun is bright and the birds are <SINGING>. She greets everything she passes. V. cute, like "other Elinor". Real Elinor has often referred to her reflection that way. Elinor there isnt a stream close to the school where shed be coming from...so we can still have this moment but then lets add a bit more when she does enter the school grounds 'hello school, how are you playground?...' Hello, bluebird! Hello, sunflower. Hello, other Elinor. I like just focusing on blinking to make our eyes not too dry. It might be hard for small kids to understand their eyes are getting wet when they blink since they shouldn't feel their eyeballs (we might want to add a line somewhere about not touching your eyes). The close up will help this understanding and maybe when you say blinking gets our eyesballs wet you say "gets them a little bit wet everytime". She walks past a stream, waving to her reflection. She arrives at the FRONT DOOR, peaks in. There’s nobody inside! EliNOR (CONT’D) Hmm, where is everybody? She starts to look about, seeing further by balancing on her tippy-toes like a real rabbit standing up. OLIVE jumps into frame. Olive Hi, Elinor! Startled, Elinor falls down <OOF!> followed by a <GIGGLE>. Delete first "come quick" Olive (CONT’D) she could offer elinor her trunk, elinor grabs it and gets pulled up to her feet. we did the reverse in 'science of staying warm' Come quick , you’ve got to see this. Olive grabs her hand, she hefts Elinor to her feet and they skip away. "In description above this line, ""stood""->""standing"" Stare-off feels hard to say and understand. How about ""staring contest""?" All of Elinor’s classmates are st anding around the JUNGLE GYM, looking up, watching something and <CHEERING> the spectacle on. From past episode experience, charcters going 'up a slide' is not behavior PBS wants to model. OlIVE (CONT’D) Ari’s in a staring contest ! Elinor is curious, she’s never seen a stare-off before! Excited, she nudges her way into the crowd. Olive reaches into her bag and pulls out a piece of paper, fashioning it into a megaphone. She runs up the slide, excited, but slips halfway and slides back to the bottom <OOF!>. She tries again, struggling on all fours but ends up where she started. She <GIGGLES> as she stands, announcing into her megaphone-- Replace "animals" with "everyone" OlIVE (CONT’D) do we want to point out 'animals'? will that be like being introduced as humans? maybe 'classmates' or 'friends' Come one, come all! Welcome, everyone , to today’s st aring contest ! The crowd <CHEERS!>. Elinor is getting swept up in the enthusiasm. " - ""starers stare"" is going to be hard to say/hear clearly. Any suggestions? - The description below this line (""she's observing this very differently from her classmates"") is a little ambiguous. Try something like ""While everyone is excited, something seems to be catching Elinor's curiosity."" - Consider adding a little extra explainer after Olive demos: Olive blinks deliberately to demonstrate. OLIVE The last one to blink wins the contest!" OliVE (CONT’D) A star ing contest is when two animals stare into each other’s eyes until one of them blinks - like THIS! Olive blinks deliberately to demonstrate. While everyone is excited, something seems to be catching Elinor's curiosity. Current might be better than "reigning" oliVE (CONT’D) since its set on top of the jumble gym then we should already have them there..in their respective corners. when called, they walk tothe center, addressing the crowd below Introducing your current champion... Koa! KOA enters the ring (on top of Jungle-Gym), he’s very nonchalant, hands in his pockets. Koa Yo... OlIVE And his challenger, the bat with all that... Ari! ARI enters, walking with his legs astride like a cowboy. Things are about to get INTENSE. WESTERN SHOWDOWN MUSIC, we focus first on Ari’s unblinking eyes, then Koa’s little penny slits. A rubber ball bounces past like tumbleweed. It’s a good day for a stare-off! This kind of joke works well, nice. Ari I’ll win this thing in the blink of an eye. The crowd <LAUGHS>. Ari’s eyes narrow. Koa opens his little penny slits to REVEAL two tiny eyeballs. after 12- ari wins and they all run in...hes on the top level of the gungle gym. maybe he first pats koa on the back and has his line as some ofthe kids come up the ladder to cheer him on..then they ride down the slide together Olive Begin! She <TRUMPETS!> with her trunk. The crowd <ROARS>. Close up shots of Ari and Koa’s eyes. Each time we get closer and closer. Intensity increasing with every cut. Soon they’re both struggling. There are tears. We hold onto Koa, he’s REALLY struggling. Ari notices (all this still on their eyes, only) Koa is holding his eyes open. It’s genuinely intense, <SFX: heart pounding!> <MFX: Music rising!> Palms sweating! Throat lumping! We hold on Koa as we feel his whole world is about to break! We hold... And... <PLINK>! Koa’s little eyes blink with the sound of a xylophone. Ari has won, the crowd <CHEERS!>. They all run in and help Ari down, giving him hugs. Above this line typo: "gives" Ari give s Koa a pat on the back. ARI Good game, Koa, good game. He flutters up in the air, just full of energy. "The ""Huh?"" might be a little too cocky. Nix? Nice montage below this line." Ari (CONT’D) Anyone else wanna play? 2. MONTAGE. I/C around school - Ari goes eye to eye with ALEJANDRO the possum. Alejandro BLINKS and Ari <CHEERS!>. PAN OUT AND AROUND to REVEAL both are hanging upsidedown from a tree while everyone watches. - Ari VS the GOAT TWINS. He zips back and forth, out-staring both of them. - Ari is intensely staring at... someone. REVEAL he’s challenging Mz. Mole through the school window, she blinks and continues to scrub the window with a towel. 3. ExT. schoOL PLAYGROUND - cONTINUOUS Ari is being hoisted up on his friends’ shoulders like Rudy (from the movie Rudy). Ari “Eye” am the best! Get it? ( pointing to his eye) Eye? Elinor and Olive are watching as Ari <CHEERS> and <HOLLERS> in B/G. "After the description above of Ari up on shoulders, consider putting here the ""eye am the best"" joke while he's up on the other kids' shoulders (it's a bit awkward where it is now in 37), something like this: ...the movie Rudy). ARI ""Eye"" am the best! Get it? (pointing at his eye) Eye?" ElinoR Ari’s so good at not blinking. "Lines 16-18: This part goes by a little too fast. Add a beat or two and let Elinor lead the curiosity: OLIVE Yeah, he's the not-blinking king. ELINOR But I wonder... Why did the others all blink? OLIVE What do you mean, Elinor? ELINOR I mean, why do we blink at all? What's blinking good for? OLIVE Huh. I've never thought about it before. ELINOR That is SO interesting!" OliVE Yeah. He’s the not-blinking king. after17..maybe this blink is a few slow deliberate blinks as shes studying/thinking about the movement shes doing with her eyes. i suggest its slow and deliberate because after 21 they comment that they didnt even notice they were doing it Elinor But I wonder... Why did the others all blink? Olive What do you mean, Elinor? Elinor I mean, why do we blink at all? What’s blinking good for? OLIVE Huh. I’ve never thought about it before. She thinks about it for a beat and blinks. EliNOR Hmm, that is sooooo interesting! 19-20 nice to have them hypothesize, but they should follow through and figure out why these can't be the answer. OliVE Your eyes close when you sleep, maybe blinking is your eyes trying to go to bed? "Give a little explanation why 19 can't be right: ELINOR But none of the kids in the contest seemed sleepy. (beat) Maybe it's our eyes clapping because... (etc)" EliNOR But none of the kids in the contest seemed sleepy. ( beat ) Maybe it’s our eyes clapping because they like what they see? They <GIGGLE>. Olive No, that can’t be it. "21-26 is cute. The scene transition later in line 36 seems a bit oddly placed, though. Let's move it to here? So Elinor and Olive are near the contest hullaballoo, and they decide to go somewhere quieter to do their observations. E.g.: Line 21: ELINOR We need more observations. C'mon! 4. EXT NEAR THE STREAM BEHIND THE SCHOOL Elinor and Olive find a quieter spot to do their investigation. ELINOR Ok, let me watch you and see if you blink. (continue as written)" EliNOR We need more observations ! The two of them scurry off. 4. EXT. stream BEHIND THE SCHOOL - DAY Elinor and Olive find a quieter spot to do some serious investigating. Elinor Okay, l et me watch you and see if you blink. They both stare at each other. They both blink, but neither notices because they were both blinking. Beat. They blink again. Unnoticed. Beat. Olive blinks. Elinor (CONT’D) You just did it! OliVE I did? Elinor blinks. olive (CONT’D) You just did it too! Elinor Really? But I wasn’t even thinking about blinking. Replace "Blinking must be" with "It's" (feels less formal) olive I guess we blink without even noticing. It’s something our body does all by itself! "27-28 feels a little odd since they just watched the contest. Try these edits: Line 27: Wow! Ok, let's see what happens when we try not to blink." Elinor correction - Wow! I wonder what happens when you try not to blink? Wow! Okay, let’s see what happens when you try not to blink. Elinor tries to but soon finds her eyelids getting very heavy. She struggles, eventually giving in with an exhausted sigh. Delete the second sentence. EliNOR (CONT’D) Wow, it’s really hard not to blink! Replace "So blinking" with "Yeah, it must be" and delete the second sentence OlIVE maybe instead of 'i had no idea' - ' i never noticed that before' Yeah, it must be something our bodies have to do. Move line 32 to after line 30, then as the girls ponder, Ari comes in with his line 31. ELINOR It’s a mystery. OLIVE It’s a blinking mystery! Ari flaps in, still on top of the world. defeated doesn't sound like kid-speak. "I'll never lose" ArI should the chanting his name be a line 'ari, ari, ari' - perhsps we record ari, elinor, olive, mz.mole and koa chanting it This is the best day ever, it’s even better than my birthday or pizza Fridays! I’ll never lose , I can just see it now. THOUGHT BUBBLE: Ari is in a stadium, the faceless crowd is <CHEERING HIS NAME>, waving signs with an eye symbol. Camera flashes, he’s a champion. OLIVE Ari? Olive interrupts his daydream. This pulls Ari out of his daydream, his thought bubble literally bursts. ArI Hey, you burst my bubble! Delete the second sentence. EliNOR <GIGGLES> We’re learning everything we can about blinking . OliVE without realizing is not kid-speak. Try "noticing" as used before or "thinking" So far we learned that you blink without thinking and that it’s really hard not to blink. Add "Can I join you?" at the end of this line. And then add a line from Elinor after this line saying "Of course!" ArI ari could possibly comment that 'its not hard for him..cause hes the non blinking champion of the world! well, ...of their school' Cool, this is awesome. If I know more about blinking I can win even more staring contests! Can I join you? ElinOR Of course! Ari flaps up in the air , looking very excited. Elinor and Olive shrug, then follow him. They walk beside the stream, Ari still overly excited. Olive notices something. 38-42 with the fish is fun, but there is concern we are pushing it with what a real fish might do. Maybe eliminate the last one, with the flap out of the water, and just end with the spin. OlIVE Look Ari, I think you have a new fan. They look into the stream. A FISH is floating there, watching Ari . ElINOR A fish! Oooh he’s so cute! It’s not cute at all. It burps up an air bubble. Ari Well bubble back to you too Fishy-fish, <SIGH> you shoulda seen me beat everyone today. They keep walking, the Fish is following Ari. OliVER Hey, Ari, I think it likes you. Ari tests this theory. He takes a couple steps back, the Fish follows. Then a couple steps forward, the fish follows again. ARI Hmm... Can you follow this!?! Ari quickly runs back and forth, the Fish follows. Ari does a spin, the Fish does a spin! The kids <LAUGH>. Elinor notices something. ElinOR Hey, Fishy-fish, you haven’t blinked once since we met you. The Fish just stares stoically. ArI You’re right! Fishy-fish, you’re the perfect challenger! OliVE I don’t know, it’s really good at not blinking. 46-50 is really nice Ari 46-50 hahaha - a great exchange! Pfft. I could beat it with my eyes closed! Olive But your eyes need to be open. ArI (BEAT) ... oh yeah. That’s fine, I’ll still win. This contest is gonna be so tense you won’t be able to close your eyes! olive You’re not allowed to close your eyes. ArI (BEAT) ... oh yeah. Never mind, let the contest begin! Ari stares the impassive Fish down. On Ari. He’s curious. How good is this guy? On the Fish. Nothing. On Ari. It’s getting harder. Should he start to worry? On the Fish. Nothing. On Ari. He’s struggling. Tears coming. On the Fish. Cool as a cucumber. On Ari. This is the fight of his life! Aaaand.... ARI BLINKS. His first defeat. The Fish still staring, it releases some listless bubbles from its gills. Ari (CONT’D) That’s impossible! EliNOR Wow, that Fish doesn’t blink at all. ArI All right, rematch! Let’s do this. Ari leans over and intensely stares at the bored Fish. Elinor and Olive notice Mz. Mole, she’s carrying a towel. EliNOR Oh, hi Mz. Mole. Mz. mole Hi, Elinor. Hi, Olive. She sees Ari in an intense stare-off with the Fish. Typo above this line "sees" Mz. Mole (CONT’D) Hi Ari. Hi, umm, staring Fish. She picks a nearby branch and drapes her towel over, it’s directly in the sun. Mz. Mole (CONT’D) Ah yes, this looks like a nice spot. Olive Whatcha doing, Mz. Mole? out in the open' - i understand youre wanting to use the term 'open' to connect with opened eyes...but will this be understood but our audience, instead of 'out in the sun'? Mz. Mole Kidss would struggle with this connection and drying does not happen that fast. Maybe Mz. Mole runs into them because she is coming to collect a towel that has been drying since this morning. I’m hanging my wet towel on this branch. You see, kids, if you leave things out in the open it’s a great way to dry them out. She feels her towel. Mz. Mole (CONT’D) Ah yes, it’s already working. Elinor gives the towel a feel as well. this is the first elinor is feeling the towel.how would she know its drying? ElINOR Hmmm. That’s so interesting. It’s starting to dry. Mz. Mole Yes, indeed. What are you kids up to? On Ari and the Fish. Ari’s eyes look like they’re about to burst, he’s being overdramatic and looks silly. Olive and Elinor <GIGGLE>. Olive We’re just thinking about blinking. ELINOR Because Ari’s in a stare off with this fish. Back on Ari struggling with the contest. He finally blinks. He’s defeated. He falls to his knees in dramatic fashion. Ari (breathing heavily) I can’t keep my eyes open! I HAVE to blink! You win, Fishy-fish. You’re...the champion. He walks over to his friends, wings dragging on the ground. This is tricky...I dont think we can say they were watering and dry in the same sentence for preschool age understanding. Ari (CONT’D) I tried really hard to keep from blinking, but my eyes started to water and then they felt scratchy like they were dry or something and then - I blinked! He gives them a rub. Elinor ponders on that. ElINOR Hmmm.... In description below this line: We can delete the second sentence. It's not something the audience can know if Elinor doesn't mention it. Also, appreciate the "in-script" humor, but this joke is a bit awkward... :) She feels Mz. Mole’s towel again. It’s almost completely dry now. Suddenly, a light bulb goes off . i feel like we need more from her as she puts it together...she can repeat 'dry...' after ari mentions it. she then says ' youve kept your eyes open alot without blinking...' then touches the towel...then puts it together Elinor (CONT’D) Maybe that’s it! Easier to parse: "You think I need a towel to win?" Ari You think I need a towel to win? Delete the last four words "Drying in the sun" (the sun is not an essential component of something drying out) Elinor <GIGGLE> No, maybe when we keep our eyes open they dry out, just like Mz. Mole’s towel . Replace this line with: "(opening her eyes) Yeah, it's like you're leaving them out in the open." Olive (opening her eyes) Yeah, it’s like you’re leaving them out in the open. Ari I think you’re right! He gives his eyes a nice long blink. "Replace with ""When I close my eyes or blink, it does make them feel wetter and better."" Then add a line for Olive: OLIVE (blinking) Yeah, every time I blink, it makes my eyes wet again." Ari (CONT’D) When I close my eyes or blink, it does make them feel wetter and better . Olive (blinking) Yeah, every time I blink, it makes my eyes wet again. SCIENCE CLOSE UP: In on Ari’s eyes, when his eyelids blink it adds moisture to his eyeballs. Elinor Then that’s gotta be it! The longer we don’t blink the more dry our eyes get. Replace "And maybe" with "I wonder if" Olive I wonder if that’s why the fish doesn’t have to blink. They look over at the Fish who still has the same blank expression, bubbles emerge from his mouth. Replace with "His eyes are always in the water, so they can't get dry. They're ALWAYS wet!" EliNOR His eyes are always in the water so they can’t get dry. They’re ALWAYS wet! Mz. Mole jumps in startling the kids with her excitement. Mz. Mole Oh my little scientists have done it again! Great observations, kids. You are correct. We blink to keep our eyes from going dry, every time we do it, it adds water to them. The kids react, <EXCITEMENT>. Replace the first sentence with "That's why fish don’t need to blink." Mz. Mole (CONT’D) That’s why fish don’t need to blink . In fact most fish, like this one here, don’t even have eyelids because they don’t need them. Elinor/Olive Cool! could be funny is ari turns his attention to the fish...'no wonder you won. you dont even have eyelids!' with a tone like the fish has been cheating Ari I knew something was fishy about that fish! No wonder he won, he has no eyelids. Mz. Mole Our bodies do a lot of things without you having to think about it, like breathing or blinking. It’s just your bodies way of making sure it stays safe and healthy. Ari So, our bodies are the real champions! Elinor We did it! We solved the mystery. Olive The blinking mystery. She flutters her eyelids in celebratory fashion. And like something out of a Disney movie (though in a way that could never be interpreted as copyright infringement) our characters break into a song... 5. SONG MONTAGE. I/C different locations - The playground. Ari is in another stare off, this time against Elinor Fun song! Delete "by itself" in Ari's third line in the song. Ari/Elinor/Olive im assuming having all 3 in the tub will be a concern...especially with olive holding her breath underwater during ari and elinors line. if so then maybe onlu olive is in her bath for her line. we put the other kids in scenerios with water, ari drinking a glass of water, elinor is watering her plant in her room... ARI: Did you know you’re always blinking? Elinor blinks! Elinor: You do it without thinking. Olive appears between them. OLIVE: Take a minute, let that sink in ELINOR: It’s just sooooo interesting! - Ari in his bedroom, hanging upside down. ARI: Blinking in your bedroom He blinks (all blinks accompanied by a note that matches the song). - Elinor and co in class, listening to Mz. Mole. ELINOR: Blinking during class. She blinks. - Elinor running through flowers. ELINOR: Blinking when it’s playtime. - Grass, Olive rolls around. OLIVE: Or when you’re rolling in the grass. - Ari’s bathroom, Ari’s in the bath. ARI: It’s easier to see when your eyes are nice and wet, your body does it just so you don’t forget! Now Elinor pops up in the bathtub. ELINOR: You don’t want them to get dry! Olive emerges, the tub is barely big enough for all of them! OLIVE: Blinking is bath time for your eyes! - Stream, the gang singing together. ELINOR: So you see, you’re always blinking. ARI: You do it without thinking. OLIVE: Take a minute, let that sink in! ELINOR: Wow, that is soooo interesting! The song ends. 6. EXT. stream - continuous Ari Well, I guess I shouldn’t try to not blink, because blinking is good for you. MZ. MOLE That’s right, you don’t want your eyes to get all dry like my towel! Not sure we need this "dropping towel in water" gag. She accidentally drops it in the stream. MZ. MOLE (CONT’D) Uh-oh... Mz. Mole retrieves her towel from the water and hangs it back up to dry again. OliVE Does this mean you retire as stare-off champion, Ari? ArI Not yet, I still want to defeat my final challenger. ElINOR How are you going to do that? He looks down at the Fish. Ari I have an idea. Olive, may I have some paper and a crayon? She obliges from her satchel. Ari starts to draw something. ArI (CONT’D) Ta-daa! He holds up a crude/cute drawing of himself and hangs it on the branch Mz. Mole used for her towel. The Fish stares at it. "Seems a little sad for the fish here that they would curse it to stare at the picture forever. Maybe add Ari to it? In the description above this line, add to the last sentence: The Fish stares at it, and Ari eagerly stares back and forth between the sign and the fish. ELINOR I have a feeling they're going to be there for a loooong time. Olive and Mz. Mole <GIGGLE> as we pull up into the sky and... END." EliNOR I gotta feeling he’s gonna be there for a loooong time. They all <GIGGLE> as the three friends walk away. HOLD ON the Fish as it stares down Ari’s picture. Fade OUT.

EWW137 "Thinking About Blinking" D2 27June19 .

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ELINOR Wonders Why EP 137 Thinking About Blinking By: Paul Moncrieffe & Shane Mahoney Elinor's Question: Why do we blink? Logline: After Ari wins a staring contest, he and his friends learn everything there is to know about blinking. Curriculum Goals: LS2 . Understand that animals have different body parts that are used in different ways to meet their needs, and that plants have different parts that help them survive and grow: a. Identify body parts of animals and their function b. Identify the basic parts of plants and their function c. Compare how the external body parts of animals and plants are the same and/or different d. Explore how different external features of an animal help it survive in its environment (Elinor and her friends explore eyelids and how blinking protects the eyes). SEP6 . Constructing explanations: Use background knowledge, experiences, and data to construct reasonable explanations and theories of natural phenomena. (Elinor and her friends construct an explanation of the question, ("Why do we blink?") Main Characters: Elinor, Olive, Ari, Mz . Mole Secondary Characters: Koa Non-Speaking Character: Fish, Goat Twins, Alejandro Backgrounds - School playground, forest (stream) Props - Paper Megaphone, Towel OUTLINE: May 28th , 2019 FIRST DRAFT: June 27th , 2019 Move this line to after line 30. In the description below this line, just have Ari come out of the bubble naturally (his daydream ends). Delete this line (moved to earlier, see note for 15) and description below it. Here the kids just walk down closer to the stream (scene transition not needed). Elinor Oliver Olive Ari Mz mole Mz. Mole Koa Elonor/Olive Fish (V.O.) (O.S.) (O.C.) (CONT'D) (SUBTITLE) INT EXT I/E 4 SCHOOL PLAYGROUND STREAM EXT. STREAM BEHIND THE SCHOOL DAY NIGHT AFTERNOON MORNING EVENING LATER MOMENTS LATER CONTINUOUS THE NEXT DAY CUT TO: FADE IN: FADE OUT. FADE TO: DISSOLVE TO: BACK TO: MATCH CUT TO: JUMP CUT TO: FADE TO BLACK.