Cute, and lots of nice moments added. A few tweaks to some of the scenes below. 1. EXT. BATS' CAVE (ARI'S HOUSE) - DAY this is feeling better - more streamlined and to the point The flow is more streamlined and the connections to the content stronger. It's fine to call it special places, what you are really teaching is about how different animals have different behaviors and habitats. I do think the order of re-tracing Ari's steps should change. Does he imagine having the ball in senerios after he already would have placed it with the apples? I think the apple place should be last in his actions of the day. "Really nice! Feels much simpler and less jam-packed. A couple of notes for the top sheet: - Logline: They're not designing a system for Ari as much as designating a special place for his things. Perhaps the logline can be reworded to: When Ari misplaces his favorite ball, the group discovers that he needs a special place to keep his things. - ET2: We're not seeing this goal play out. Since no ND goal, we'd recommend removing this Engineering goal. " OPEN ON ELINOR and OLIVE walking in the forest. Elinor stops to examine a hole in a tree trunk. "Let's ease into the episode a little more. Add to description above this line: ""It's a sunny day in early fall. OPEN ON ELINOR and OLIVE walking in the forest. Elinor is looking around and stops to examine a hole in a tree trunk. Change this line to: ""Hello! Anybody in here?""" Elinor Wanted to mention (regarding Jorge, Daniel, and Kevin's notes on the opening) that we're okay with removing Ms. Bat from these scenes and having Ari open the door, himself. While we like easing into the story as J&D suggest, the suggestions feel like they slow down the opening somewhat. Would be good to get to Ari sooner. Hmm... interesting. I wonder what lives in there? "Change lines 2 to 3 to: OLIVE Let's go Elinor, we're almost at Ari's house. Elinor catches up to Olive. ELINOR I can't wait! Ari says he has a brand new ball he wants us to play with. OLIVE Here we are! They arrive at the BAT FAMILY'S CAVE, and they walk towards the door. ELINOR Let's see if he's home. Elinor rings the bell. MRS. BAT opens the door. MS. BAT Oh, hi, Elinor! Hi, Olive! " OLIVE Maybe instead its ‘I don't know, but I know who lives over there!” - As its come into view - Then they both yell “Ari!” - Otherwise it may seem like Elinor didn’t know he lived there I don't know, but I know who lives here... Ari! She points to the BATS' CAVE as they pass it, and they both turn toward it. ELINOR Let's go see if he wants to play. Elinor rings the bell. MRS. BAT opens the door. We need to be mindful of unnecessary lines due to the concerns that we're facing in the records. therefore, we could potentially cut Ms.Bat -seeing as she only has two lines and hasnt been cast yet. we can cut lines 4-6 and have Ari open the door and say line 7. then before they head out he can turn and call out "Mom! we're going outside to play!" - and we see Mom peak her head around the corner and wave bye. Ms. Bat Hi, there. Come on in. "Change this line to: OLIVE/ELINOR Hi, Ms. Bat!" Olive IF we’re keeping Ms.Bat - (but see my suggestion above) we know there is a Mr.Bat - will we still have them address her as 'Ms.'? Thanks, Ms. Bat. Add to this line: "Hold on, I'll call Ari. (Calling over shoulder) Ari! Your friends are here!" Ms. Bat (calling over shoulder) Ari! Your friends are here! Ari comes bounding out to see Elinor and Olive, greeting them as he continues outside and they turn to follow. Change this line to: "Elinor! Olive! Thanks for coming over. Are you ready to see my brand new SUPER bouncy ball? Ari Elinor! Olive! I have a brand new bouncy ball. Want to see? EliNOR Yes! Olive Sure! Ari reaches into his pocket and pulls out something round and red which is mostly concealed in his hand. "Change this line to: ""Ta-dah!"" Then add a response: OLIVE/ELINOR Ooohhhh…. Then continue as before: ARI How high do you think it'll bounce?" Ari How high do you think it'll bounce? Elinor hops up, reaching her hand overhead. description of action for this line - with Elinor's design, she cannot raise her hand up over her head due to its size. There’s also an almost repeated description after the line. EliNOR This high? Elinor hops, reaching her hand up high. OLIVE As high as my trunk can reach? Olive stretches her trunk as far as she can , way over everyone's head . 13 - 14 - dialogue and description seems to be off a bit. Maybe we remove Elinor’s second guess or make her one guess about the ball bouncing as high as the tree. - follow description of her pointing to tree after line. elinOR Well, if it's super bouncy ... even up to the top of that tree? "Add a description before this line: ""She points toward a tall tree"" Then change this line to: ""Let's find out. Ready? Heee-yah!"" Then delete from the description following this line the sentence ""She points toward…""" Ari This is a great place to get in some language about the inquiry process/ & science practices. ari asked a question (line 10) and they imagined (predicted) what will happen. Now they are testing it. "Let's try it" or "let's test how bouncy it is, ready" Okay, ready? Ta-da ! She points toward a tall tree. Ari lifts his arm, winds up and BEANS the "ball" down to the ground. It lands with a THUD and lies there, flat. Add to the description below this line: "Ari frowns and bends forward to examine the object. He picks it up." Olive That's not as high as I was expecting. Ari frowns and bends forward to examine the object. ARI Wait, that's not my bouncy ball. It's an apple! Maybe she could add "It went splat instead"- although the physics of bouncing is not our main goal so this is not really needed. OLIVE No wonder it didn't bounce. I like that the mystery is much more direct. It'spossible that some of our older viewers will think the ball might be in with the apples, especially if the apple basket is in site when he says this. Children will follow along with the kids discoveries if they think they might be in the know. ARI How'd that get into my pocket? And where did I put the ball? Olive and Elinor shrug. Ari thinks, trying to remember... Ari (CONT'D) It must be somewhere in my room. I'll go check. Be right back! Elinor and Olive follow Ari toward the house. Change this line to "Uh, we better come help you look." Olive Uh, we'll come help you look. ElinOR Yeah, your room's not the neatest of places. Ari What do you mean? 2. Int. Bats' cave - Ari's room - day - conTINUOUS CLOSE ON ARI, standing on what appears to be a neat and empty floor next to his bed. Ari See, my room is really neat! ROTATE CAMERA AND PULL OUT to reveal Ari is "standing" on his ceiling (his bed is bolted to the ceiling.) EliNOR I guess so, if you count up there on the ceiling as your floor . On Olive and Elinor - standing in knee-deep debris on the real floor (clothes, comic books, bath towels, toys.) ARI Well, bats do sleep upside down. Ari glides down to land near his friends. OLIVE I t's pretty messy. How can we find the ball in here? elinor How can we find anything in here? Ari helps Elinor and Olive sift through his belongings , picking up a jacket, a hat, and a book and finding nothing underneath. If the script is too long I think lines 28-32 could be simplified. I'm not sure preschoolers will follow the line of thinking. A line that says "well its not here" might be enough. Ari We appreciate Sara's note here and it's certainly a fine place to cut if necessary. But for what it's worth, we found this exchange really funny :) Well, the good news is, the ball's not here! OLIVE Why is that GOOD news? ARI If we know where the ball ISN'T, then we know where the ball IS! ElINOR Really? Where? Ari SOMEWHERE ELSE! So now we know! Olive and Elinor stare at Ari in disbelief. OLIVE But "somewhere else" could be anywhere else in the world! It could take years to find it! Ari could say something about not being anywhere else in the world. only here...so it's got to be somewhere in town! - this will help instigate Elinor's line ARI (undaunted) Well, we'd better start looking. It's probably still somewhere in town. Change last sentence in this line to: "Think back, Ari: When was the last time you had the ball?" ElINOR I have an idea! Let's go back to all the places you've been today, and see if we can find the ball. Think back: W hen was the last time you had it ? Ari closes his eyes, reflects, then pops his eyes open. "Change the description above this line to: Ari reflects. A THOUGHT BUBBLE appears next to him, showing him in bed holding the ball."" Then change this line to: ""Hmmm, I had it this morning when I got up…"" Then delete the description line below this line." Ari I know! I had it this morning when I got up! ELINOR Good start! What did you do next? He leads the way out of his room. As Elinor and Olive follow. "Add to this line: ""Then I got dressed. And then I went outside to play with my ball!"" Then add a description below this line: ""The thought bubble redraws to show Ari walking out his door with the ball."" Then add a dialogue for Elinor, a description, and a new scene: ELINOR Ok! Let's go outside! Elinor leads them out the room. 4. INT. BATS' LIVING ROOM (ARI'S HOUSE) - DAY - CONTINUOUS The kids walk past the Bats' living room, which has all the furniture up on the ceiling. MR. BAT and Ms. Bat sit upside down in small couches, reading. MS. BAT Have fun, children! " ARI I got dressed . And then I went outside to play with my ball! 4. Ext. BatS' CAVE (ARI'S HOUSE)- yard - day - conTINUOUS Ari leads the way through the yard with Elinor and Olive walking behind, looking around for the ball. Elinor So you came out to the yard. What did you do out here? "Shorten this line to just: ""Let's see…"" Change the description below this line to: ""While he thinks, he grabs an apple from a BASKET OF APPLES that's sitting in the yard." Ari Does the apple need to be the first place. Is it strange that they don't look in the apple bowl yet they look everywhere else? Consider keeping the apple bowl in site throughout the re-tracing of his steps and then having the apple basket be one of the last visits. Let's see... Oh yeah - I ate one of these apples. He pauses in front of a BASKET OF APPLES that's sitting on a table in the yard, and helps himself to an apple. Change this line to: "Mm, these apples are so good. Want one?" Ari (CONT'D) They're so good. Want one? ElinOR Not right now, thanks. OLIVE Maybe later. Ari shrugs, bites into the apple and keeps walking. He stops again, freezing in place. "Change the description above this line to: ""Ari shrugs, bites into the apple and keeps thinking."" Then change this line to: ""Wait - I remember now!"" Then change the description below this line to: ""THOUGHT BUBBLE forms next to Ari, as his DAD now stands near him, pointing at leaves laying around the yard.""" Ari Wait - I remember something else! THOUGHT BUBBLE forms next to Ari, as his DAD now stands near him, pointing at something OS-- Ari (CONT'D) My dad asked me to rake the leaves! ANGLE ON: A messy pile of leaves under a nearby apple tree. Change this line to: "Hmm, do you think the ball is in that leaf pile? EliNOR (hopeful) Maybe the ball's in that leaf-pile! Change this line to: "There's only one way to find out…" OLIVE Only one way to find out... (to Ari) Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Ari I think SO! Olive , Ari and Elinor look at each other for a beat, then dive right into the pile of leaves, swimming around with their arms. ari is missing from the names saying the dialogue OLIVE /elinor WOO HOO!/Whee!/Leaf-o-rama!! After a few beats of leaf play, the kids stop as the leaves settle around the. Typo in description above this line: "…around THEM" ElinOR Well, That was fun. OLIVE But we didn't find the ball. this line isnt necessary Ari It's not in th is pile of leaves for sure . OLIVE Hmm.. Where else can we look? As Ari and Olive are talking, we ANGLE ON: Elinor as she hears something and looks up to find the source overhead <SFX: BIRDS CHIRPING> correction - "I dont know. I go to alot of places" Ari I don't know. I go a lot of places. ANGLE ON TREE: TRACK UP the trunk to discover a BIRD ON A BRANCH above Elinor 's head. Luckily, it's the apple tree where someone left a ladder leaning for apple-picking . OLIVE (almost inaudible) Can't you remember where you left it? ARI (almost inaudible) I'm trying, but the leaves are so distracting. OLIVE (almost inaudible) Good point! LEAF JUMP!! As Ari and Olive jump back in the leave in the background Elinor climbs the ladder against the tree to observe the bird up close. SCIENCE MOMENT CU: The bird hops busily back and forth on the branch, adding twigs and fluff to its nest. Elinor gets even closer, going up on her tiptoes to discover THREE SMALL EGGS in the nest. ON ELINOR - she reacts, interested. Elinor watches for a beat as the bird returns to the nest. We should have Elinor identify the nest as "a special place" here. In line 84, she says "another special place," but we haven't used those words to describe anything prior to that line. ELINOR (quietly to herself) Ooohhh. The bird's eggs are nice and safe in that nest. BACK TO SCENE: Olive and Ari lie back into the leaves, smiling as the leaves flutter and settle around them. All of a sudden, Ari sits up straight Jorge and Daniel - do we want him to call it a house or Cave since thats what it is technically ? I feel we can go either way - calling it a house as that’s where he lives with his family or being accurate with where bats reside (in caves) Ari Wait, I remember something else. Before I could rake the leaves, I had to go find the rake behind the house. This catches Elinor's attention. instead "well maybe thats where the ball is!" elinOR Then, m aybe the ball's behind the house ? Change this line to: "Then, maybe that's where you left the ball?" ARI Come on - let's look! 5. EXT. BATS' CAVE (ARI'S HOUSE) - BACK OF HOUSE - CONTINUOUS At the back of the house, the kids look around for the ball. Ari pauses, closes his eyes, then opens them wide. Delete the last sentence in the description above this line. Ari correction: Ooh - I remember this is exactly where I was standing when I did my super-amazing "toss and spin" move. Watch! Ooh - I remember t his is exactly where I was standing when did my super-amazing "toss and spin" move. Watch! He spins around, pretends to catch the "invisible" ball, but in a convoluted stretch, reaches out so far to catch it that he almost loses his balance, has to hop on one foot, then-- Ari (CONT'D) Ta-da! OLIVE Um, nice catch? ARI Thanks - it's even more impressive with an actual ball. they say that maybe it rolled - should they ask if he caught it when he did the 'toss and spin'? They seem to assume he dropped it OLIVE (laughing) Right, so let's keep looking for it . (to Ari) Maybe it rolled over this way. Olive and Ari continue to look for the ball Ari picks up the rake from the ground nearby. Ari Hey, here's the rake! But no ball. Olive and Elinor frown, examining it more closely. their response didnt seem natural. why are they examining the rake and appearing to be upset about it being broken? maybe instead one of them can say "buuuut, that rake looks broken" - or - maybe he holds the rake up and then the rake portion falls off. then he has his line about remembering that its broken OLIVE Uh-oh. ElINOR The handle's broken. ARI (remembering) Oh, right... NOW I remember . Our rake is broken so I had to borrow another rake from our neighbour Mr. Dog . He spots Mr. Dog's rake leaning against a tree and picks it up. i suggest - its not that close to them - otherwise they would have seen it - "and There it is!" - points to it leaning up against a tree. Elinor can still grab it as they are leaving so ari can return it Ari (CONT'D) Ah, h ere it is ! It's good Elinor recaps the steps. ElinoR Okay, let's see... You went outside, then your dad asked you to rake leaves, but the rake was broken, so then you went to borrow one from Mr. Dog ? ARI Yep, but don't forget, I did the spin and catch move, too. He acts out the spin and catch move again. OLIVE Maybe we should look for the ball at Mr. Dog's house! They all start to head over, then Elinor goes back and grabs the rake, handing it to Ari. elinor And , we can return Mr. Dog's rake. after 76 - do we want to show the basket of apples? foreshadowing - maybe it'll just seem odd to stay on it as they exit? We could just have it next to the apple tree in the scene as it plays out ARI I bet he would like that! The kids exit toward Mr. Dog's house; HOLD ON THE APPLE BASKET as they walk by. 6. EXT. MR. DOG'S YARD - DAY - CONTINUOUS As the kids enter, MR. DOG is putting a squeaky chew toy into a hole, and starts shoveling dirt over it with a shovel. Mr. Dog Hi, kids, what's up? Ari I brought back your rake, Mr. Dog. Thanks for letting me borrow it. Feels a bit unnatural - instead “You're welcome, Ari. It's always nice to have everything put back in its proper place.” Could also add “there we go” for when he’s done putting it away MR. DOG You're welcome, Ari. It's nice to have everything back in its place. Here's where I keep my rake. He hangs up his rake on its special hook on the side of the nearby shed, then goes back to his digging. ARI Uhh, Mr. Dog. Did I leave my new super-bouncy ball here? MR. DOG Sorry, Ari I haven't seen your ball. CLOSE ON ELINOR Elinor watches intently as Mr. Dog keeps shoveling dirt. Then he plops the chew toy in the hole (causing it to SQUEAK once) and covers it. ElinOR Uhh, Mr. Dog? Why do you bury your chew-toys ? Aren't they for chewing? MR. DOG Good question, Elinor. We DOGS love to put things away, and that's why we bury them. We keep them safe in their special place . T hat way we know exactly where to find them when we need them! SCIENCE CU MOMENT: As he talks, Mr. Dog buries another bone, then he starts digging again. Elinor looks closely at the hole. Move the Hmmm, change to: "Another special place. Hmmmm. That's SO INTERESTING!" ELINOR Another special place. That's SO INTERESTING! Hmmmmmm . OLIVE What is it, Elinor? Add a pause: "I'm figuring something out. (pauses to think, then) We need more observations!" ELINOR Sounds like she’s brushing Olive off - could she say it in a gentler way We don't want to get in the way of Elinor's catch phrase, but she's not really observing anything new at this point -- she's just reviewing the things she's already observed. I 'm figuring something out . We need more observations! Elinor starts to sing: Over song we see: Expand the description above this line to: "THOUGHT BUBBLE next to Elinor. The bubble expands and we go into song world. We see the bird gathering sticks on the ground, then flying up and adding to her nest, where three eggs sit snuggly. Then, we see Mr. Dog finishing burying his chew toy. He walks off and day turns into night and back into day, and we see Mr. Dog dig out his toy, happy to have it again." We’ve never done a song inside a thought bubble - we can play it straight and revisit the few places ie. birds nest and back to Mr.Dog during the song. We play it like there isnt a concern for passage of time or locations - almost like a montage I think the song does a nice job recaping the meaning making. THOUGHT BUBBLE next to Elinor. We see the chew toy in the hole and the eggs in the bird nest. Elinor (CONT'D) (singing) To keep something safe Keep it in a special place Put things away Save it for another day I saw birds build a nest To hold all their eggs And Mr. Dog found a spot For a toy he likes a lot To keep something safe Keep it in a special place Put things away Save it for another day. THOUGHT BUBBLE BURSTS ON ELINOR - coming out of song. ELINOR (CONT'D) If you put things in a special place, you won't lose them. Mr. Dog That's right, Elinor. It's important to put things away so you can find them again. He steps on the dirt where he's buried the chew toy, and we hear a faint SQUEAK! Ari Yeah, I should have put my ball in a special place . At that moment Ari's stomach <SFX: GROWLS> “Speaking of a special place. I’m hungry” seems awkward . Maybe his stomach growls and he says ‘augh, no ball. And now I’m hungry’- and continue as you have it. Ari (CONT'D) Speaking of special places, I'm hungry. I could use another one of those apple s. (he starts to put it together) agree with Kevin...children rarely would even say "speaking of" and then most will not make the connections. You could just take of the first sentence or ...Maybe something like "my stomach is a special place and I need to put something in it" Wait a minute -- ball, apple, special place… I remember where I left the ball! Ari runs OS with Elinor and Olive at his heels. Elinor (over her shoulder) Bye, Mr. Dog! 7. Ext. Ari'S YARD - DAY - momentS LATER The kids run OS and Ari runs right up to the basket of apples, digs in and... Ari TA-DAH!!!!! He holds up the ball triumphantly. OLIVE The ball! ElinOR How did it get there? "I DID put it in a special place - but it was the APPLE place, not the BALL place." this needs clarification. ARI It could be fun to follow up this comment with the idea that special places are specifically designed for ceratin things by having the characters imagine if a bone was placed in a nest or an egg was buried underground. I must have put it down when I reached for an apple this morning. (beat as this soaks in) I DID put it in a special place - but it was the APPLE place , not the BALL place. Ari throws the ball and it bounces really high! Elinor and O live giggle. Elinor picks up the ball . this line seems out of place - Ari is starting to play with the ball. maybe instead we get a 'woow' or 'sooo cool!' - then 'ok, my turn!' - then Ari's next line Elinor Okay, let's go play with the bouncy ball! Finally! ARI Wait! First I have a favour to ask. feels unnatural to have her say "ari" in both lines 99 and 101 OLIVE What is it Ari? Ari I know it's important to put things away in a special place. Will you help me with something? Olive and Elinor share a smile. OLIVE Sure thing, Ari. ElINOR (laughing) We thought you'd never ask! 8. INT. BATS' CAVE - ARI'S ROOM - DAY - MOMENTS LATER Elinor, Olive and Ari sort and clean his room as they reprise the song Elinor sang earlier : ELINOR/ OLIVE /ARI To keep something safe Keep it in a special place Put things away Save it for another day I saw birds build a nest To hold all their eggs And Mr. Dog found a spot For a toy he likes a lot To keep something safe Keep it in a special place Put things away Save it for another day. 9. Int. Ari's room - day - conTINUOUS CU Ari's face, thrilled. PULL BACK to reveal he's once again perched on his ceiling near his bed. Ari Wow. My room has never looked THIS good before. ROTATE CAMERA TO RIGHT-SIDE-UP. Olive and Elinor are standing on the floor, which is now neat and clean. Change this line to: "Year, the floor AND the ceiling!" OLIVE Yeah, from both ways! EliNOR Everything is in its special place. OLIVE Now we can finally go play with the super bouncy ball! Ari looks around for a beat, panicked. Change this line to: "Uh oh, I forgot where I put the ball!" ARI Uh oh, I forgot where I put it! ElinOR/ OLIVE (groan) Ari! ARI Just kidding! Ari opens a small box on his desk and takes out the ball. Change this line to: "Here it is in a special place I made just for my ball! Catch!" Ari (CONT'D) so Ari is hanging upside down - therefore he just needs to drop the ball to Elinor whos waiting on the ground Here it is in a special place just for my ball ! Catch! He tosses the ball to Elinor, who does the spin move and catches it behind her back. Add to this line: "Super amazing toss and spin move! Ta-da!" elinOR Ta-da! maybe Elinor takes a few bows as they giggle OLIVE /Ari (laughs) iris out: The enD .

EWW108 Special Places D2 5-Feb-19 .

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ELINOR WONDERS WHY EP 108 Special Places By: Rachel Lipman Elinor’s Question: Why do birds lay eggs in nests and dogs bury bones in the ground? Logline: When Ari misplaces the group's favorite ball, they discover that he needs a system for keeping track of his things. Curriculum Goals: LS5.Begin to understand that animals and plants depend on other living things and nonliving things in the environment to meet some of their needs. (The bird and dog both depend on their environment to provide a place to store important things and keep them safe). ND. None in this one. SEP3: Planning and carrying out investigations: e: Design and build a solution to a simple problem (they make a special place to keep the ball after observing a nest a place for the rake and a hole for chew toys.) ET2 . Begin to understand that people depend on various technologies in their lives and that human life would be very different without technology: (Elinor and her friends find a "special place" for Ari's ball). Main Characters: Elinor, Olive, Ari Secondary Characters: Ms. Beaver, Mr. Dog Incidental Characters: Backgrounds: Ari's house, Ari's room, Ari's backyard, Mr. Dog's house Props: Ball, apples, rake, bird and eggs, chew toy. OUTLINE: 28-Dec-2018 FIRST DRAFT: 15-Jan-2019 SECOND DRAFT: 05-Jan-2019 Ari elinor Elinor/OLIVE ELINOR/OLIVE/ARI Hqazel Mr. Dog OLIVE Olive OLIVE/Ari Sally Mrs. Bat (V.O.) (O.S.) (O.C.) (CONT'D) (SUBTITLE) Int Ext I/E BATS' CAVE (ARI'S HOUSE) BATS' CAVE - ARI'S ROOM - DAY ARI'S ROOM ARI'S KITCHEN BATS' CAVE (ARI'S HOUSE)- YARD - DAY BATS' CAVE (ARI'S HOUSE) - KITCHEN - DAY BATS' CAVE (ARI'S HOUSE) - BACK OF HOUSE MR. DOG'S YARD - DAY ARI'S ROOM - DAY ARI'S YARD - DAY Day Night Afternoon Morning Evening Later Moments Later Continuous The Next Day Cut To: Fade In: Fade Out. Fade To: Dissolve To: Back To: Match Cut To: Jump Cut To: Fade To Black. Order Title Location ARI ARI