"Cute first draft. An overall note is that the dialogue feels a bit stilted at times, and the transitions between scenes/story beats feel a little too short or convenient at times. On the next pass, focus a little on making things feel natural. Some specific notes below. Thanks!" 1. int. A rock concert arena stage (ari’S THOUGHT BUBBLE/fantasy) "nicely done - not a lot of notes on this one. the main thought is the science of this ep - we are teaching how woodpeckers communicate by pecking - called drumming. However,are we confusing it with them pecking to get bugs from trees as well? i feel this isnt very clear. i think the 'drumming' to communicate needs to a bigger moment. does the length of the drumming make a difference. do they repeat the pattern? " Colorful stage lights shine down on ARI, who stands proudly with his wings wide, holding drumsticks high in a rockstar pose behind his drum set. The massive crowd <CHEERS> in silhouette, in anticipation. Cute opening Ari ( loudly to his fans) Are you ready to ROCK? love this opening seq, lots of fun The unseen audience <CHEERS> even louder as Ari plays an epic <DRUM SOLO>. We see music video-esque camera angles on Ari playing the drums. The crowd is cheering his name, and Elinor’s voice emerges on top of the crowd’s cheering. ELINOR (V.O.) ( like an enthusiastic fan cheering to the rhythm) Ar- i ! Ar- i ! WIDEN and TILT DOWN to reveal this is all happening in Ari’s daydream. 2. INT. ARI’S BEDROOM - DAY Ari startles from his daydream and hits the drums a couple more times. The room flips to reveal he is upside down, sitting at his drum set that hangs from the ceiling of his bedroom. ELINOR and OLIVE are standing beneath him, looking up. Here's an example of how it feels a little odd at times: what was happening before he started drumming? Were Elinor and Olive just standing there to listen to him? Did they just arrive? Think about the set up a little. Maybe he was drumming, and Elinor and Olive just arrived. In which case, add a few lines to explain (e.g. Oh, hi Elinor, hi Olive. Wow, Ari, you're a really good drummer.... Or something like that) Elinor Ari! You’re a really good drummer. This line is a little odd. Is she trying to compliment or critique him? Olive You’re really loud, too. ArI (proudly) Thanks! Wanna play with me? Elinor Yeah! Back and forth feels a little adult. Maybe "we'll take turns" or something Ari Okay, I’M gonna play something. Then YOU play something. Then I play something. We’ll go back and forth. Elinor and Olive pick up extra drumsticks on Ari’s floor. Ari (CONT’D) Ready? Ari plays a rhythm <SFX: TAT-TAT-TAT>. Then Elinor plays the same rhythm back <SFX: TAT-TAT-TAT> when she taps the drumsticks lightly on the rock floor in Ari’s room. Ari plays a rhythm <SFX: TAT-TU-TAT). Olive plays the same rhythm back <SFX: TAT-TU-TAT) as she taps the drumsticks lightly on Ari’s rock floor. Then Ari gets carried away and begins playing an epic drum solo, playing with his eyes closed and banging the drums really LOUD. MRS. BAT enters the room and looks up at Ari. MRS. BAT Ari? Ari doesn’t hear her because the drums are so loud. Elinor and Olive look up at Ari. MRS. BAT (CONT’D) (good-natured) ARI!! Ari still doesn’t hear his mom and keeps playing. Mrs. Bat flies up toward the ceiling to be face to face with Ari. Just then, Ari opens his eyes. Ari ( startled ) Whoah ! Mom! He stops playing immediately. Feels a little harsh. Maybe instead of "are too loud" try "…and your drum playing is a little loud." MRS. BAT Ari, Miri is taking a nap, and the drums are too loud. Could you please play quietly so you don’t wake her up? 3. Int. Miri’s crib -- day Miri, hanging upside down in her crib, closes her eyes and falls asleep. 4. INT. ARI’S ROOM - DAY Mrs. Bat is still fluttering and close to Ari on the ceiling. ARI Uh, yeah, sure Mom. Mrs. Bat Thanks Ari. Mrs. Bat flies down to the ground and leaves. Ari Wanna hear something cool? Elinor Yeah! Ari opens up the face of one his drums, stuffs it with a blanket and then closes it again. Elinor (CONT’D) What’s the blanket gonna do? Ari picks up his drumsticks. Ari Listen to this... Ari plays the drums again, except now it is much, much quieter. Elinor ( in awe) It’s quiet now! Olive The blanket kind of muffled the sound. Elinor That’s SO interesting. Ari plays his drums quietly for a moment, then flies down to the ground. This dialogue to transition feels a little odd. Feels like it should expand to a couple of lines to get Elinor and Olive on board. Ari V.O. I’m done drumming anyway. Let’s ask my mom if we can play outside. 5. Int. ari’s Living room - day Mrs. Bat relaxes on the couch, reading a book. Elinor, Olive and Ari walk into the room, just as a loud drumming sound echoes. <SFX: THRRRRRRP> (Note: It is the sound of a pileated woodpecker. Drumming sound references can be found here: https: // www.allaboutbirds.org /guide/ Pileated_Woodpecker /sounds and https: // www.youtube.com / watch?v = NqPPioNKIfo ) is she saying this under her breath to herself? i dont think we'd want her yelling to ari from the couch. can we clarify? MRS. BAT (without looking up from her book) Ari, please stop playing the drums so loudly. Ari It’s not me, Mom. I’m right here . Mrs. Bat looks up at Ari, who is standing just by the end of the couch. i dont think the 'Ohhhh' will be understood by audience as we have it here. might be a confusing response. Especially since she asks the question in line 29 MRS. BAT (surprised) Oh, sorry. ( then knowingly frustrated as if she knows what the sounds is). OHHH . Elinor, Olive and Ari hear the drumming sound again <SFX: THRRRRRRP> . Elinor’s ears swivel as she listens for where the sound is coming from. Elinor What is that? Where’s it coming from? Olive cups her hand to one of her big ears as she listens again to the sound. <SFX: THRRRRRRP> OLIVE I think it’s... outside somewhere. Feel like we need a "A woodpecker?" from Elinor after this line. Ari Yeah. It’s the woodpecker. Mrs. Bat is a little exasperated. Mrs. Bat That woodpecker is back AGAIN? It’s going to wake up Miri. I don’t know why it keeps pecking on our mailbox. 6. Int. Miri'S CRIB - DAY Miri sleeps soundly upside down in her crib, when a loud drumming sound echoes in her room. <SFX: THRRRRRRP> Miri’s eyes pop open. The drum sound happens again. <SFX: THRRRRRRP> Miri looks around and opens her mouth wide. <SFX: BABY CRYING WALLA> perhaps an emotional response first 'oh dear...' 7. INT. LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS Mrs. Bat responds to her daughter’s <SFX: BABY CRYING> Mrs. BaT Coming Miri! ( to the trio) I’m gonna go check on her. "should this read ""Can we go outside to see the woodpecker?"" - since they know its on the mailbox, they dont need to look for it. unless another thought was that they can hear it but dont yet know where it is? so we remove the dialogue about it being on the mailbox and instead the comment of its whereabouts is more generic ex.32 "" Please do...(calling as she walks away toward Miri) and if you figure out what in the world that woodpecker’s pecking on , lemme know!"" - especially since they go outside and its not on the mailbox yet - its flying to it so that would suggest it was pecking close by but not on the mailbox yet " Elinor Can we go outside to look for the woodpecker? Mrs. BAT Please do...(calling as she walks away toward Miri) and if you figure out why in the world that woodpecker’s pecking on the mailbox, lemme know! Elinor looks at her friends, excited about the mystery. Feel like we jumped too soon to establish it's a mystery (we haven't even seen the woodpecker yet). Here they should just be curious to go see the woodpecker, and then when they go outside and see pecking on the mailbox, they should establish the mystery: why is it pecking on the mailbox? OLIVE Dun, dun, dunnn - it’s a mystery. A wood-pecking mystery. Elinor Let’s go figure it out! 8. Ext. Ari’s house - day The kids stand outside Ari’s house on the front steps and look around. Elinor points excitedly to the sky. Elinor There it is! The pileated woodpecker (with a red head) flies down and lands on the mailbox. It starts pecking fast with its beak to make a drumming sound. <SFX: THRRRRRRP> Ari ( to Olive) Knock, Knock. Olive Who’s there? Ari The woodpecker. Olive The woodpecker who? ArI The woodpecker who’s knocking on my mailbox. Olive and Elinor <SFX: LAUGH>. Stretch this out a bit. Have the kids/Elinor appreciate the situation a little (whoa, it is pecking on the mailbox. That is so interesting) then we see the curiosity in Elinor. ELINOR ( wondering ) Why IS the woodpecker pecking on your mailbox, Ari? ARI I dunnno . Olive Hmmm . I read about woodpeckers in my nature book. TILT UP to Olive’s THOUGHT BUBBLE. We see a pileated woodpecker pecking on a tree and a close up of its pointy beak as it pecks a hole into the tree bark. Inside the hole, we see a few ants walking around. Olive (CONT’D) Woodpeckers are birds that peck on trees with their strong, pointy beaks. I think they peck on trees to look for bugs to eat. TILT DOWN to the kids. Elinor Hmmmm , (pondering) are there any bugs in the mailbox? We’d better check. Elinor, Olive and Ari walk toward the mailbox, tentatively and carefully. Maybe have the woodpecker go off on its own, rather than as a result of them coming closer? Otherwise, I feel the solution is too easy: just scare the woodpecker away. Suggest the bird goes off on its own, then have the kids comment on it. Look, it went away. But Ari says, Yeah, but it'll be back. Quick, let's go see if there are bugs in the mailbox. Oooh, look it it’s red head!' was the repetition intentional? OLIVE Oooh , look it it’s red head! The woodpecker on the mailbox turns its head to look at them and then flies away. Ari Bye, woodpecker! Close on the mailbox, as Olive approaches and lifts her magnifying glass to inspect the mailbox’s sides. Olive Hmmmm , no bugs here. Elinor looks under the mailbox closely. Elinor ( looking intently) I don’t see any bugs here. Ari stands near the mailbox and suddenly looks intrigued. Ari (a bit sneakily) I have an idea... Ari casually walks by the front of the mailbox, looking away from the mailbox as if he just doesn’t care about it at all, and then suddenly he jumps and flips the mailbox lid down to look inside. Ari (CONT’D) Ahaaaa !!!!!!! Cut to a POV from inside the mailbox looking at Ari’s face, as he peers into the inside. Ari (CONT’D) Um , no bugs. Olive holds her magnifying glass over some dents in the mailbox side. Close on the dents. Olive Look at this! I can see where it was pecking. Elinor inspects the dents and then reaches up with her fingertips to gently feel them. Elinor It’s dented. Why is the woodpecker pecking on your mailbox, Ari? Ari Not sure. They’re called WOODpeckers , not MAILBOXpeckers . Olive, Elinor and Ari <SFX: GIGGLE>. Olive Yeah, it should be pecking on a tree. Elinor Let’s sit on Ari’s porch and see if the woodpecker comes back. The kids sit on Ari’s porch in a row, looking around and watching the mailbox. Elinor (CONT’D) There it is! The woodpecker lands on the mailbox and starts drumming. <THRRRRRRP> . Elinor (CONT’D) That’s really loud. Just then, another <SFX: DRUMMING> sound rings out from the woods near Ari’s house. Ari Wait! Do you hear that? The kids all look toward the sound, surprised. Olive cups an ear toward the sound. Olive It sounds like...another woodpecker. Olive gets up and walks to the edge of the trees and peers around. (olive) ( excited gasp) I see it! There IS another woodpecker. Elinor and Ari run over to Olive, excited to see the other pileated woodpecker on the tree. Elinor And it has a red head too, like the other woodpecker does. Close on the woodpecker on the mailbox drumming. Then close on the woodpecker on the tree drumming. They drum back and forth again. "Feel like they got to the answer too quickly here in one line. This is the central mystery and lesson, let's step through it a little more carefully? E.g. establish a little what they know and don't know. I wonder why they're doing that. Yeah, it doesn't look like they are pecking on the trees to look for food. And then find a more interesting or intuitive way for the kids to get to the solution. Maybe they have trouble talking to each other over the woodpecker sounds, so they have to raise their voices to talk. Or maybe they have a little discussion about what the woodpeckers sound like (it sounds like this, no like this, no like...) and one of them has the idea maybe that's how they talk to each other. Something like that? Then round out the info: woodpeckers peck on trees to look for food AND to talk to each other." Elinor (CONT’D) They’re going back and forth, like they’re talking to each other. I am wondering if kids watching this will be confused by the double use of the word "drumming" in this episode. I know it's the technical term for woodpeckers talking to each other, but I wonder if that vocabulary lesson is necessary. I feel like it gives the following scenes an extra layer of cognitive effort to remember that the pecking is called drumming. Suggest you don't worry about teaching kids that it's called drumming, and just call it pecking throughout. Ari They peck so fast... they sound like drummers. Olive gets excited, because she remembers something important. See previous note. It feels a bit like a cheat here that she suddenly remembers a key piece of information. There's no need to have their conclusion confirmed by the recall of the book. They can just conclude by themselves that they think the woodpeckers are pecking to talk to each other, and then confirm to themselves ("I think you're right!"). Since the communication lesson is not an integral part of the problem or the solution, it's not crucial that they get official confirmation. Olive Drummers? Drums! Oh! I saw a picture of this in my book. ( talking quickly because she’s excited, remembering) While Olive’s talking, we see and hear each woodpecker drumming. Olive (CONT’D) Sometimes woodpeckers peck really fast and loud, and that’s called drumming. Woodpeckers use DRUMMING to TALK to each other! Just like some birds use SINGING to talk to each other. elinor You mean, they go peck peck peck to say ‘Hi, I’m here?’ Olive Yup ! ELINOR So that’s why they drum! Ari They’re drummers, like me. That’s so cool. The woodpeckers drum loudly <SFX: THRRRRP> back and forth. 9. INT. MIRI’S ROOM - DAY Miri sleeps soundly upside down in her crib, when the loud drumming sound echoes in her room. <SFX: THRRRRRRRP> . Miri’s eyes stay closed for a beat, but then pop wide open. Her mouth opens wide and she yells. <SFX: BABY CRY> 10. EXT. ARI’S HOUSE - DAY Elinor, Olive and Ari still stand by the trees, but they turn back toward the house because they hear Miri yelling from inside. <SFX: BABY CRYING> Ari Uh oh, the woodpecker woke Miri up again. Mrs. Bat (O.S.) ( from inside the house) Coming Miri! The trio turn back to look at the woodpecker on the mailbox. Maybe at some point here in these lines, they should establish the problem. The woodpecker is loud. I wonder how we can get it to peck more quietly? Then the knock knock joke. Elinor That woodpecker really is loud when it’s drumming. Ari Hey Olive, (turning to Olive), Knock Knock . Olive Who’s there? ArI Wood. Olive Wood who? Ari Would you ask the woodpecker to drum quietly? ELINOR ( excited ) That’s it! Drum quietly! Ari What do you mean? Elinor Ari, remember what you did to make your drums quiet? Ari Oh, (thinking) I put a blanket inside it. Elinor Right! Maybe we can make the mailbox quiet if we put a blanket inside it. Olive Let’s try it out! Ari, can you get the blanket? Ari You know I can! I’ll be back super fast. Ari flies toward his house. Wipe to: 11. Ext. Ari’s mailbox - daY Elinor, Olive and Ari stand by Ari’s mailbox. Olive holds the blanket, while Ari holds his drumsticks. Elinor Okay, let’s try our idea. ( turning to Ari). Ari, do you have your drumsticks? Ari Yep. ( looking off into the distance) Has anyone ever had a mailbox band? TILT UP to Ari’s THOUGHT BUBBLE/FANTASY of himself as a rockstar, standing on a giant stage like his previous fantasy, except this time...he is standing behind a drum set made of mailboxes. The massive crowd <SFX: CHEERS> in anticipation. Ari (CONT’D) ( to his adoring fans) This one’s called The Mailbox Rock! The unseen crowd <SFX: CHEERS> while Ari plays the mailboxes in an epic drum solo. We see music video-esque camera angles on Ari playing the mailboxes while he plays. Elinor Ari? Ari! WIDEN and TILT DOWN as Ari snaps out of his daydream, to show he is just standing in his yard by the mailbox, holding his drumsticks. Ari Oh, sorry. Ari lifts his drumsticks up dramatically as if he is a rock star and bangs on the mailbox two times. <SFX: PAF ! PAF!> Olive Whoah that’s LOUD. Be careful we don’t want to wake up Miri. Ari ( looking guilty back at the house) Right. Better get that blanket inside. Olive opens the mailbox, stuffs the blanket inside and closes the lid. Elinor Ari, now drum on the mailbox. Ari lifts his drumsticks dramatically like a rock star, and he plays the mailbox, but this time it is quieter and doesn’t echo as much. Elinor (CONT’D) It worked! It’s quieter! ArI Just like my drums in my bedroom. The blanket made it quieter! elinor Okay, let’s go back to the porch and watch what the woodpecker does. The kids run back to the porch, sit down to watch the mailbox. They look around and wait in anticipation. Line feels a little forced here, especially as they are about to foil the woodpecker's natural behavior. Olive ( looking around) This is sooo fun. Mrs. Bat comes out on the porch. MRS. BAT How’s it going out here? Elinor We’re waiting for the woodpecker (gasping and pointing) oh there it is... The woodpecker flies back and lands on the side of the mailbox. The woodpecker looks around. Mrs. Bat Oh no. Miri JUST fell asleep again. The woodpecker leans its head back, and then starts to <SFX: DRUM> very fast with its beak. But this time, it is quieter. The woodpecker stops, tries to drum again, pauses and looks around. Then the woodpecker flies away into the woods to land on a tree. Close on the woodpecker as it drums <SFX: THRRRRP> on the tree trunk, instead of the mailbox. We cut wide to see that the woodpecker is now pretty far from Ari’s house. Elinor, Olive, Ari and Mrs. Bat watch from a distance. Back on the porch, Mrs. Bat and the kids are thrilled. This moment is tricky because they essentially foiled a woodpecker's natural behavior and its need to communicate. Can you spin it to be more positive? Maybe add a few lines to explain what the bird is doing, and make it so finds it something to tap on that is just as loud, but farther away from their house? Elinor The woodpecker left the mailbox! I think it’s pecking on the tree now, because the tree is louder. Mrs. Bat So why was the woodpecker pecking on the mailbox? Recap the lesson they learned, which is that woodpeckers peck to find food, AND to talk to each other. "Drumming on the mailbox" doesn't tell me anything unless I remember that's the technical term. Olive It was drumming on the mailbox. Elinor Yeah, woodpeckers TALK to each other by drumming. SONG - DRUMMING SONG MONTAGE We see a montage of pileated woodpeckers drumming on different trees, back and forth, along with close ups of their beaks pecking at the trees. Elinor/ari/olive A rat-a-tat-tat A bibbidy-bum The woodpecker’s pecking like the sound of a drum, A rat-a-tat-tat, A bibbidy bow, The woodpecker’s drumming so it can be loud. When a woodpecker wants to send a message To say “I’m right here!” To talk to the other woodpeckers Flying far and near, It taps really fast with its beak To make a loud sound, Because woodpecker drummers are the Best bird drummers around! A rat-a-tat-tat A bibbidy-bum The woodpecker’s pecking like the sound of a drum, A rat-a-tat-tat, A bibbidy bow, The woodpecker’s drumming so it can be loud. The song ends as the woodpeckers drum from the trees, but it’s pretty quiet because it’s far from the house. MRS. BAT (Sighing with relief) Ari, do you hear that? Ari The woodpeckers? Yep, they’re far away now. Mrs. Bat No, I mean do you hear what’s happening in the house? The kids turn and listen, but there are no sounds coming from the house. Ari ( confused , listening but not hearing anything) Uh, I don’t hear anything. MrS. BAT Exactly. ( sighing with relief) Your sister is finally a sleep . 12. Int. Miri’s crib -- day Miri, hanging upside down in her crib, is now sleeping soundly. She rolls onto her side in a deep sleep. 13. EXT. ARI’S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS MRS. BAT ( with a big smile) Oh this is wonderful. Thanks kids. Mrs. Bat gives Ari a great big hug with her wings. Elinor You’re welcome, Mrs. Bat! The trio and Mrs. Bat sit on the porch as MR. PIG, the postal worker, walks up carrying a bag of mail. Mr. Pig waves at them on the porch, and they wave back. Close on Mr. Pig as he lifts an envelope from his bag, opens the mailbox to put it in, and pauses...because there is a BLANKET in the mailbox. Mrs. Bat Whoops, how are we supposed to get our mail now? The trio and Mrs. Bat <SFX: LAUGH> as we: Iris out THE END.

EWW172 The Little Drummer D1 28April20 .

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ELINOR WONDERS WHY EP . 172 “The Little Drummer” By: Laura Sams and Robert Sams Elinor's Question: Why is a woodpecker pecking on Ari's mailbox? Logline: After a noisy woodpecker keeps waking Baby Miri, Elinor, Olive and Ari are able to solve the problem by observing both the woodpeckers and Ari's drum-playing. Curriculum Goals : LS5 . Begin to understand that animals and plants depend on other living things and nonliving things in the environment to meet some of their needs: b. Identify the habitats of familiar animals and plants in the environment c. Recognize that each kind of living things has a habitat that has resources to meet its unique needs d. Identify and observe the consequences of how plants and animals impact the environment (Elinor and her friends observe the woodpecker's habits, its environment and the impact the woodpecker’s habits have on its environment). ND5 . ( RTL Crosscutting concept Cause and Effect): Appreciate that events are connected to each other via cause and effect, and that similar links can be found in the natural and designed worlds. (Elinor and her friends make the link between the muffling of Ari's drums and decide to muffle the woodpecker's pecking). SEP1 . Asking questions (science) and defining problems (engineering) (Elinor is curious about why the woodpecker is pecking on the mailbox) a. Demonstrate curiosity about the greater world outside of their local environment b. Ask more complex questions about observable phenomena c. Ask and/or identify cause and effect questions that can be answered by an investigation d. Identify a problem that can be solved by the design a new or improved object or tool ( engineering ) SEP6 . Constructing explanations (science) and Designing Solutions (engineering) (The kids notice that the woodpeckers are pecking back and forth to communicate with each other. Elinor suggests that the mailbox is loud like the drums were loud, and that they can make the mailbox quiet by muffling it with a blanket, just like Ari's drums.) a. Use background knowledge experiences, and data to construct reasonable explanations and theories of natural phenomena (science) b. Look for and describe patterns and relationships in natural phenomena (science) OUTLINE: April 1, 2020 FIRST DRAFT: April 28, 2020 SECOND DRAFT: POLISH DRAFT: FINAL: Ari V.O. Mrs. Bat Elinor Olive Ari Miri ELIONR (V.O.) (O.S.) (O.C.) (CONT'D) (SUBTITLE) (olive) ( INT EXT I/E A ROCKSTAR ARENA STAGE (ARI'S THOUGHT BUBBLE/FANTASY) ARI'S ROOM MIRI'S CRIB -- DAY LIVING ROOM ARI'S LIVING ROOM ARI'S HOUSE MIRI'S ROOM ARI'S MAILBOX THE END MIRI'S CRIB DAY NIGHT AFTERNOON MORNING EVENING LATER MOMENTS LATER CONTINUOUS THE NEXT DAY MAGIC HOUR DAWN DUSK SAME SAME TIME CUT TO: FADE IN: FADE OUT. FADE TO: DISSOLVE TO: BACK TO: MATCH CUT TO: JUMP CUT TO: FADE TO BLACK. SMASH CUT TO: CUT TO BLACK. TIME CUT: Wipe to: Iris out Order Page Intro Location Time Color Scene #