"This is a nice improvement from D1. There are specific notes below, but we have two overall directions to give: (1) Hazel's character is still a bit muddled. Part of the confusion is because our notes on D1 got a bit mangled, so our note on the opening scene was lost. We've re-inserted it on the l1 notes for reference. But her character should be ""enthusiastic"" and ""impractical"" but let's keep it positive. She should still be kind to people; have her enthusiasm extend to her expressions of gratitude, for example, rather than her self-centeredness. (2) The structure is SEEDS - SOIL - SUN. The first bit is about seeds (she gets them from Elinor). The last bit (where they end up on the balcony) is about SUN. So the middle bit needs to focus on SOIL. So when they are looking around the apartment trying to figure out how to make her a garden, focus on how there's no SOIL in any of their ideas. This is what drives them out to hunt for it and find it and come back to focus on SUN. Then the song should reinforce it in the same order: SEEDS - SOIL - SUN (&water!). (2b) To help keeping this straight and clear, have Olive keep a checklist of what they need. That will serve as a visual guide, so it's not just kids talking." 1. EXT. ELINOR’S YARD -– DAY only a few additional notes on top of what PBS sent We had a bit of a difficult time understanding Hazel’s character and her motivations. Her actions and dialogue are causing her to seem very inconsiderate of others, and sometimes even mean as she shows interest in something, engages with her friends then ignores them. We are assuming that you intend for her to be reflecting the impulsive and egocentric behaviors that litter kids often display, but it’s currently not coming across that way. And we are concerned about modeling this behavior since it is not actually being met with feedback to her from her parents or friends to help improve the behavior. Is there a way to show that Hazel is a bit more self aware of her behavior to help soften it? Maybe she catches herself and offers apologies at times for her dismissiveness and pushiness? One day, Elinor, Olive and Ari are playing catch when Hazel, a very outgoing lioness, comes into Elinor’s backyard. "Our comment on this scene from D1 seems to have been deleted/missing from the tracker. Original notes were: ""It's a good idea to have a first beat to establish H's impractical enthusiasm, but this beat with the bike makes her seem more ""flighty and distracted"" than ""enthusiastic but impractical"". Consider something else, which is more positive and also leads more naturally into the smelling/gardening. Maybe she's over the moon with how the flowers smell, and is trying to enjoy them while she plays catch, but it doesn't go very well...and then her nose leads her to the strawberries"" We suggest something like: Elinor: Ari, catch this! Elinor throws the ball and he runs to catch it and almost bumps into Hazel, who is sniffing flowers near Elinor's house. Ari: Oh, Hi Hazel! Watcha doing? Hazel: I’m smelling all the amazing flowers. This one is my favorite. She sniffs another one. Ooh, no, now THIS one is my favorite. Ari: Want to play catch with us? Hazel: Sure! He throws the ball back towards the girls Hazel runs, but we see the ball land without Hazel in the frame. Elinor: Where’s Hazel? Olive: I think she’s found a new smell. Hazel: Something smells delicious and fruity. It’s coming from… Right… (sniffs the air) Here!" Scene 1 (Lines 1-6) – This is where we feel like Hazel is a bit dismissive and sometimes seems mean as she keeps wanting and then ignoring what her friends have and are doing. Hazel Hey guys! Whatcha doing? Elinor Oh, hi Hazel! We’re playing catch! Here , go long . Elinor throws the ball and a s Hazel runs to catch the ball, she stops when she see Olive ’s balance-bike in the yard. Hazel I got it! I got-- (then) Wow! Cool bike! Can I ride it? Line 4 – Hazel would need to put a helmet on if she gets on the bike. olive Sure. Let me help you get-- As Olive goes to help Hazel get on the bike, the little lioness once again walks away, now onto something else. Hazel Ooh , what is that awesome smell? Elinor, Olive and Ari look at each other, unsure what to do. ari Boy, she sure has a lot on her mind. Elinor, Olive and Ari follow Hazel as her nose guides her through Elinor’s yard and over to Elinor’s garden. Elinor Whatcha looking for, Hazel? Hazel I’m following a delicious, fruity smell that’s coming from... Right... (sniffs the air) Here! Hazel stops at Elinor’s garden and leans in for a full whiff of the strawberries. Yep! That's the smell. Strawberries! Hazel (CONT’D) Yep! This is what I was smelling. MMM I love the smell of fresh strawberries. Olive Fresh strawberries smell sooo good! They taste good too. My parents said… Line 11-13 – This all felt unnecessary and rude in terms of how Hazel acts here. Would be fine if someone was correcting her and helping her learn the better way to interact. Elinor They sure do. My parents said it’s okay to pick them, so would you like a berry, Hazel-- Hazel ? As Elinor looks around, Hazel has already picked a strawberry and is about to eat it when Elinor snatches it just in time . ElINOR (CONT’D) (laughing) Hazel, you have to wash the strawberries before you eat them. Scene 2 – Maybe they are sitting at a picnic table near the garden to eat the strawberries? Wasn’t sure how this was all framed since the strawberries are now washed and cut. HAZEL Ooops . Good point. (hopeful) But if we wash them first, then can we eat them ? Elinor Sure. Let’s pick some strawberries. As the kids go to pick, we push in close on a strawberry. Dissolve to: 2. EXT. elinor’s yard -- later We are still close on a strawberry and, as we pull out, we see the kids now sitting next to the garden with a basket bowl of cut strawberries, enjoying the fruits of their labor. ari These are the best strawberries ever! How did you grow them to be so yummy , Elinor? ELINOR That’s easy. I’ll tell you my secret... I just made sure I had the three S’s in my garden. hazel Three S’s ? As Elinor explains, she grabs a packet of seeds, a handful of soil and motions up to the sun to demonstrate. "brown SSSoil for the plants to grow in, and loads of Ssssun! ELINOR (leaning on the S sound) Yep. Good S ss eeds to plant - that the first S, lots of really nice brown S ss oil , so there’s always room for the plants, that’s the second S, and loads of S ss un to help the plants grow. Hazel Oh, three S’s , I get it! Although my favorite is the 4th S. ELINOR 4th S? Hazel takes another bite of a strawberry and gets up, doing a happy little dance as she speaks . add a note of gratitude here, like "Yep, ssstrawberries. Thank you so much!" HAZEL (mouth full) Yep, Sss trawberries ! The kids all <GIGGLE> as Elinor remembers something. Elinor That reminds me, there is a 4th thing that every garden needs... water! I’d better water my garden so we can keep my strawberries healthy. Ari Good idea. While you do that, I’m gonna do... whatever Hazel’s doing. As Elinor takes a moment to water her garden, Olive and Ari join Hazel in her dance. Hazel I wish I could grow yummy strawberries like these at my house too! simplfy the end of this line: … with the very first S: seeds! Elinor You can, Hazel. I’ll get you started with the very first S... a packet of strawberry seeds. Elinor hands Hazel the packet of strawberry seeds she had earlier. Hazel is very excited about this and now spins around in joy! Thank you! I can't wait… Hazel Yes! I can’t wait to grow my very own strawberries! Line 27 – Might be clearer to say, “You’ll have strawberries as soon as you plant those seeds…” Olive Yep! As soon as you plant those seeds in your garden at home. Hazel stops in mid-spin as more juice runs down her chin. Oh. Uh, I don't have a garden at home. Hazel Uhh ... I don’t have a garden at home. Elinor then has a THOUGHT BUBBLE shows Elinor helping Hazel plant a garden. Elinor That’s no problem. We can help you start a garden of your own. As long as your parents are okay with it. HAZEL (mouth full) Are you kidding? My dad loves strawberries. He’s gonna be so excited! ari Mr. Lion gets excited about everything! That’s why h is art class is so fun ! Elinor Let's head over to your house and start your strawberry garden. HAZEL Can we also bring some of these yummy strawberries for my Dad? Line 34 – This felt old for Elinor. Maybe more like, “Let me go tell my Mom that we are going to your place and I’ll bring some strawberries with us.” ELINOR Sure! Let me go tell me my Mom we’re heading out and I’ll wrap up some strawberries to go. The kids run off with SFX: EXCITED WALLA. 3. EXT. HAZEL’S APARTMENT -- DAY The kids arrive at the apartment in the main area of town. HAZEL Here we are, home sweet home. The kids are a bit confused as they look at the storefront. Ari You live here? But this is a store? Yep! We live right above the store. HAZEL Yep. We live above the store. Olive Ooh , you live in an apartment. That is sooo cool! I like the painting more than rug cleaning HAZEL Yeah, my dad was very excited about it, of course. He likes painting on the sunny balcony . As the kids come around to the side of the building, they see Hazel’s father, Mr. Lion, painting on the balcony. ELINOR Hi, Mr. Lion. Mr. Lion Oh, hey there, kids! Don’t mind me, just taking in the scenery up here . Come on up, Hazel-b asil . Line 42 – Instead of “build” let’s say “start a garden” Hazel Okay, Dad. Elinor is gonna help me build a garden to grow yummy strawberries. … is such a bold color… Mr. Lion Ooh , I love strawberries! Red is a bold color, but those berries pull it off. Hazel See? I told ya he would love it. Line 45 – Can we change this to, “Do you have a yard with a garden upstairs, Hazel?” (Feels more kid-like and naïve) Olive But Hazel, if you live upstairs, where are we going to make a garden? You don’t have a yard. Line 46 – To follow a new wording for 45 – “Hmm…I don’t.” And then Ari’s line 47 can follow this. HaZEL Ohhh...good point. Hazel seems puzzled at first, but Ari reassures her. Ari Don’t worry Hazel. I’m sure... we can figure something out, easy-peasy . As the kids enter the building, Elinor is confident. Elinor We sure will. Y ou can have a garden anywhere as long as you have seeds, soil and sun. OLIVE And water! Cut this line. Line 50 – Better to say, “Usually we find soil and sun in a backyard so we need to investigate…” ELINOR Usually that’s in a backyard so we need to investigate other places to grow a garden....we need more observations. 4. INT. HAZEL’S APARTMENT -- DAY The kids enjoy some more strawberries with Mr. Lion. Line 51 – Let’s say “I can’t wait ‘til you grow some of your own.” MR. LION Oh, Hazel-b asil , you were right! These strawberries are just plain tickling my tastebuds ! I can’t wait ‘till you can plant some of your own. HAZEL Me either. Let’s do it! Hazel takes off to the next room , leaving everyone behind as Mr. Lion grabs another strawberry. MR. LION Well, I’d better get back to my painting , but thanks for bringing some color to my day, kids. Have fun. As Mr. Lion gets up, Elinor leads the kids around the apartment. This scene needs to highlight the SOIL aspect. First she gets seeds, then soil, then sun. maybe not "inside" the apartment since they end up putting it "outside". maybe "with no backyard" OliVE Okay, so we need to figure out the best place for Hazel’s garden inside the apartment . "Elinor: With the three S's: Seeds, Soil and Sun. Olive: and water! Elinor: Right. And you have the first S,seeds, so now you need soil and sun. Hazel: Hmm. What about the kitchen sink! That has water. Olive: Yes, but no soil. Ari: And if you made a garden in your sink, how would you wash your dishes? Hazel: Oh, good point. (she thinks) Ok, I've got it! (off to the bathroom) Hazel: When I have a bath, I wash my dirt off in the tub. Let's put my garden there! The kids laugh. Elinor: I don't think there's dirt left in your tub, even if you were REALLY dirty. Ari: and I don't think there's enough sun. Olive: My mom has plants inside the house. She goes into town to get really good soil. Pick up at Elinor's l63 ""That's a great idea...""" ElINOR With the three S’s seed, soil, sun oh, and WATER! Hazel How about if we put it in our kitchen sink? There’s water and plenty of room for a garden in there. Elinor and Olive look at the sink and see dishes in it. Line 57 – Not sure how sun fits into it here. Is the sink in a sunny place? It made more sense to say “there’s water and room for soil” olive Yeah, there’s sun and room for soil I guess , but how would you wash your dishes? Hazel Oh... good point. (she thinks then) I got it! This way! Hazel then takes off before the kids can even say anything. The kids follow and Hazel points into her bathroom (which we don’t see). HAZEL (CONT’D) Here is an even bigger place to put lots of soil : our bath tub. Hazel is proud of this suggestion, but Olive and Elinor aren’t so sure. Elinor But there’s no sun in your bathroom, so your garden would be missing one of the three S’s . Line 61 – This line confused us because they found both the sink and bathtub that seemed big enough but were wrong for other reasons. Hazel (disappointed) Ooh , that’s no good. Without sun, my strawberries won’t grow. There’s nothing in my apartment big enough to fit a garden. Olive You know, my Mom has lots of plants inside the house, and her plants are always in a pot or a box, so maybe that could work for Hazel’s garden? Line 63 – Add to this… “Why don’t we go into town to find the things we need to bring into Hazel’s apartment for the garden.” ELINOR That’s a great idea, Olive! Why don’t we go into town and find the things we need for the garden. hazel I already have the first S, Seeds, so the second S is some Soil! ARI Now this is my kinda mission! Looking for dirt! Mr. Lion then pops in. Mr. LION Hey, kids. You heading out? HAZEL Yep! We’re looking for soil. MR. LION Then you’d better take the wagon. It’s downstairs in the shed. Good luck! ELINOR Thanks, Mr. Lion. Hazel leads the way as the kids head out. 5. EXT. ANIMAL TOWN main street –- DAY With the wagon in tow, the kids walk around Animal Town. Suddenly, Ari sees an empty field nearby. Ari Look! There’s plenty of dirt here! Ari and Hazel run over and try to dig up the dirt with their hands, but the red dirt is really hard to dig up. Elinor Hmm... this soil is to hard to dig up . Olive Yeah! What we need is good, healthy brown soil like Elinor has in her garden. HAZEL Gotcha , brown soil. This way! Hazel once again takes off and the others follow closely behind, struggling to keep up with the energetic lioness. Not sure we are following the transition here: is Hazel spotting the pile of dirt and running ahead? Clarify a bit. Maybe this line belongs in Scene 6? HAZEL (CONT’D) Hey, look! Will th at soil work for my garden? 6. Ext. Mz. Llama’s yard -- continuous Suddenly, Hazel stops next to Mz. Llama’s place , she points to Mz. Llama’s backyard and the others notice that Mz. Llama has dug a big hole in the ground to plant the tree . S he has a pile of good, brown soil, so they approach Mz. Llama. "it just might" sounds old Olive It just might, Hazel. Let’s go see. Elinor That’s a beautiful tree, Mz. Llama. MZ. LLAMA Thanks, Elinor. I just dug this hole to plant it in. … with all that broil soil you dug up? Line 78 – Maybe could soften this a bit. “Are you going to be using all that brown soil?” Ari Well... what are you gonna do with all that brown soil? MZ. LLAMA I’m not sure, but if you kids need it, you can have it . ELINOR Thanks, Mz. Llama. I’ll just get this-- Once again, before Elinor can even react, Hazel comes running into the frame towing the red wagon . Take this moment to have Hazel express gratitude to Ms Llama, who is enabling her garden with this gift. Line 81 – Maybe Hazel could say something a bit kinder – “Let me help!” HaZEL Way ahead of you. As Hazel goes to grab the dirt, Ari notices a wooden box behind Mz. Llama. ari Mz. Llama, is this your wooden box too? MZ. LLAMA It is, the tree came in that box, I was planning to recycle it, but if you want to reuse it that’s fine by me. Before the others can even react, Hazel has already picked up the box over her head and brings it over to the dirt pile. Line 84 – Again – feels pushy here. Hazel Great, let’s get this soil. ARI Wow, she is fast. Thanks, Mz. Llama. The others follow behind Hazel as Mz. Llama waves to them. Have Hazel give Ms Llama some love here too. Should be a sweet moment between Ms Llama, who is happy to enable gardening, and an enthusiastic young gardener. MZ. LLAMA Have fun, kids. 7. INT. HAZEL’S APARTMENT -- DAY The kids arrive back inside Hazel’s apartment with their box full of soil. Elinor Okay, so we have our first two S’s , seeds and soil. All that’s left is the final “S”... Sun. HAZEL So let’s find a nice, sunny spot in the apartment. Go! As Hazel runs off, we see a quick MONTAGE set to fun, bouncy music where the kids try out various spots and find reasons why each spot won’t work. First up, the kitchen table. Olive How will you eat? Next, under the kitchen table. Ari No t enough sun. Next, Hazel places the garden next to the couch. Elinor Still no t enough sun. Hazel places the garden in the dark closet and we see nothing. A beat later, Hazel turns on a flashlight , which puts some light in the closet, where she and Hazel stand. Elinor (CONT’D) REALLY no t enough sun. Finally, Hazel puts the garden on top of her toy box. ari Lots of sun, but h ow will you get to your toys? HazEL Ohh . Good point. As the music fades, the kids are stumped. OLIVE I don’t know, Elinor. I’m not so sure there really is a good spot for this garden in Hazel’s apartment. Elinor sees disappointed Hazel flashes her puppy dog eyes. Elinor There has to be a perfect, sunny spot somewhere. We just haven’t found it yet. Right on cue, Mr. Lion comes back in from the balcony. Whew! I love the natural light, but it can get a touch sweaty on the balcony with all that sun shining on you. MR. LION Whew. It’s so hot out on the balcony with all that sun shining on you. ELINOR That’s it! The balcony gets lot of sun. Olive Mr. Lion, would it be okay to go out and see if the balcony is a good place for Hazel’s garden? MR. LION Sure! Way to think outside the box, or should I say, outside the apartment. Mr. Lion laughs at his Dad joke, but he’s the only one. ... By yourselves. But I'd love to help with your fun garden project. Let's go! Line 101 – This could be simplified and he could say something like, “Well, you kids should never go out on the balcony by yourselves. I’ll come with you!” Mr. LION (CONT’D) Well, you kids should never go out on the balcony by yourselves, but since this is for such a good cause, I suppose I could head on out again with you. Hazel heads out first, of course! Hazel Yay! Let’s go! 8. EXT. BALCONY -- DAY The kids go out on the balcony and quickly discover that Elinor was right! hAZEL (CONT’D) Elinor, you were right. This is the perfect place for my garden. Mr. LION Agreed! And might I say, a garden out here will really spruce the place up. As it finally looks like this garden of her own is about to become reality, Hazel dances for joy. HAZEL Thank you soooo much everybody, for all of your help with this garden! Page 12 - Line 106 – Let’s say “plant the garden” instead of “make the garden” ELINOR You’re welcome, Hazel, but we’re not done yet. We still have to make the garden. HAZEL That shouldn’t be too hard because now we have all three S’s: Seeds, soil and sun. SONG MONTAGE: As the music rises, Elinor and her friends sing a song about the three S’s . As they sing their song, the kids dance and help Hazel set up an amazing new garden right in the wooden b ox on the balcony and plant the seeds! ELINOR You can build a garden anywhere A balcony, a yard or here or there As long as you have these three special things You can have all the joy that a garden brings. Olive pulls out the packet of seeds and places them in little holes in the garden. OLIVE: The first thing to get are your favorite seeds To grow fruits or veggies or whatever you need. Ari then carefully covers the seeds with soil . ARI: The next thing is soil straight from the ground You can dig it up or buy it, it’s all around. Hazel points up to the sun above, which shines down on the garden. HAZEL: Once your seeds are planted, you’ll need sunlight To make sure your plants grow big and bright. ELINOR: You can build a garden anywhere A balcony, a yard or here or there, As long as you have those three, special things-- Olive then comes in with a watering can, interrupting Elinor. OLIVE: (spoken) And water. Can’t forget water. Hazel then jumps into frame, finishing the song. HAZEL You’ll have all the joy that a garden brings! With the garden now planted, we pull out and watch the sun rise, set and rise over the balcony . As the songs ends, we: DISSOLVE TO: 9. EXT. BALCONY –- DAY (LATER) Mr. Lion and the other kids watch as Hazel waters her garden, which now has its very own strawberries growing! There are also some other fruits and veggies growing behind the strawberries too, such as tomatoes and cucumbers. MR. LION Oh, Hazel-b asil , I am so proud of you for taking such great care of your garden for the last few weeks. Elinor Me too. Everything looks great. Especially y our strawberries ! ari And it looks like they’re just about ready to be picked. Line 114 – Again – would love for this line to change. HAZEL Way of ahead of you, Ari. Hazel then pulls out a bowl of strawberries. Hazel (CONT’D) Have a fresh, yummy strawberry. (then, to Elinor) And don’t worry, I already washed them. Hazel WINKS at Elinor, who smiles, as everyone grabs a strawberry. ARI Don’t mind if I do! Each of the kids, and Mr. Lion, take a bite and it’s clear they’re very tasty. Olive Mmm , these are great, Hazel. Elinor Yeah. I couldn’t have done a better job myself. HAZEL Well, there’s nothing sweeter than strawberries you’ve grown yourself... on your own balcony garden . As the kids <LAUGH> and eat more berries, we: FADE OUT.

EWW169 "A Garden for All" D2 4/17/20 .

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ELINOR WONDERS WHY EWW169: A Garden for All! By Michael Foulke Elinor’s Question: Where can Elinor’s friend Hazel the lioness grow a garden of her own in her apartment? Logline: Elinor and her friends help Hazel figure out the best way to start a garden and grow her very own strawberries in her apartment. Curriculum Goals: LS5 . Begin to understand that animals and plants depend on other living things and nonliving things in the environment to meet some of their needs: b. Identify the habitats of familiar animals and plants in the environment c. Recognize that each kind of living things has a habitat that has resources to meet its unique needs (Elinor and Hazel learn they need soil, sun and space to grow strawberries) ET1 . Begin to understand that asking questions, making observations, and gathering information are helpful in thinking about problems, and that it is important to clearly understand the problem before beginning to design a solution (Elinor and Hazel learn what they need to have before they can design a rooftop garden to grow strawberries – soil, sun and space) SEP4 . Analyzing and interpreting data a. Collect, describe, and record observations in greater detail and in various ways b. Use the 5 senses and simple tools to gather and record data c. Record observations to describe patterns and/or relationships in the natural and designed world(s) in order to answer scientific questions and solve problems. (Elinor and her friends observe what plants need to grow, then try to replicate the conditions in Hazel's apartment). MAINS: Elinor, Ari, Olive SECONDARY: Hazel, Mr. Lion, Mrs. Llama LOCATIONS: Elinor's Yard, Hazel's Apartment, Animal Town Main Street, Mrs. Llama's Yard PROPS: Seeds, Barrel, Soil, Strawberries, Rug Outline: March 25, 2020 First Draft: April 9, 2020 Second Draft: April 17, 2020 Olive Elinor Ari Mrs. Hippo ELINORE Mrs. Llama Air Mr. Raccoon Mz. Llama Hazel Olive/ari Mr. Lion Ari ELINOR/olive/ari (V.O.) (O.S.) (O.C.) (CONT'D) (SUBTITLE) INT EXT I/E 1 3 4 7 10 EXT. ANIMAL TOWN PARK -- DAY ANIMAL TOWN MAIN STREET -- DAY EXT. ANIMAL TOWN MAIN STREET -- DAY ELINOR'S YARD INT. HAZEL'S APARTMENT -- DAY INT. HAZEL'S KITCHEN DAY NIGHT AFTERNOON MORNING EVENING LATER MOMENTS LATER CONTINUOUS THE NEXT DAY MAGIC HOUR DAWN DUSK SAME SAME TIME CUT TO: FADE IN: FADE OUT. FADE TO: DISSOLVE TO: BACK TO: MATCH CUT TO: JUMP CUT TO: FADE TO BLACK. SMASH CUT TO: CUT TO BLACK. TIME CUT: Order Page Intro Location Time Color Scene #