Pretty cute, nice work! Notes below. One nitpick: can we stick to Mr. Rabbit and Deputy Mouse as the character names, both in dialogue heading and how they address each other? Thanks 1. EXT. PATH - DAY really well done and flows/paced nicely. great physical comedy moments as well. ELINOR and her DAD walk down a forest path. Dad carries GARDEN GLOVES. Elinor skips on ahead to blow on a dandelion that has gone to seed - the fluff swirls away. <SFX: PUFF, GIGGLE> Nice script (DESIGN NOTE: Mz. Llama and Joe Mouse are in “civilian clothes” in this Ep .) EliNOR I love dandelions. "The section later when they arrive at Deputy Mouse's house feels heavy in exposition and explanations. Let's try moving the dandelion explanation here. Split this line after the first sentence and have Elinor get curious about the dandelions. Something like the suggestion below: MR. RABBIT: Yep, they're just dandy. Elinor looks curiously at the dandelions and some yellow flowers nearby. ELINOR: Dad, I wonder... I always see the white fluffy dandelions next to yellow flowers. Do they always grow together like that? MR. RABBIT: Actually, they are the same plant. ELINOR: They are? MR. RABBIT: Yes, the dandelion plant first grows a yellow flower, and then the flower turns into the white fluff. That's how it spreads its seeds. He blows to illustrate. ELINOR: Wow, dandelions are even more interesting than I thought! MR. RABBIT: Yes, they are. Well, we better get going to Deputy Mouse's house. He said he needed a lot of help in his garden right away." DAD shouldn't elinors dad address Joe Mouse as Mr.Mouse or still Deputy Mouse since he's talking to a child Yep, they’re just dandy. Thanks for coming along, Elinor. Joe said he needed a lot of help in his garden, right away. "Overall, Elinor's lines feel a little too adult throughout the script. Try to find that voice of a little girl and make her lines more appropriate for the age level. Change this line to: ""Is something wrong with his garden?""" ELINOR (amused) will this come across as disrespectful? will need to be read with a shrug and a smile What’s the rush? It’s a garden. DAD Well, he just came back from vacation, and it’s all overgrown. ELINOR (concerned) Overgrown? Are plants growing all over his house? THOUGHT BUBBLE: Elinor imagines Joe, with a suitcase, coming home to find his home encased in vines. (BUBBLE POPS.) DAD ( laugh ) I sure hope not. ANOTHER ANGLE - as the two round a bend, they see MZ. LLAMA approaching, carrying an empty basket. ELINOR Hi, Mz. Llama. Feel we need to be clearer what's going on. Change to "Good morniiing! I hope you're both coming to my salad party at the park later today." Mz. llama (singsong) Good morniiing ! Isn’t it a beautiful day for my salad party? Then change the first sentence here to "We sure are." DAD It sure is. I’ve already made my famous ‘carrot top’ salad to bring. Mz. llama Sounds yummy! (re. her basket) I’m just off to Farmer Bear’s to get some spinach, for my own special salad. Well, ta for now! She waves - Elinor and her Dad wave back. Change to: "Bye, Mz. Llama!" elinor See you later! Elinor and her Dad carry on down the path to... 2. EXT. JOE MOUSE'S house (YARD WITH GARDEN) Elinor and her Dad arrive at Joe’s not-at-all overgrown house, and follow the sound of grumbling to his garden. Joe mouse (part os) Oh, my poor vegetables. This garden is a complete and total mess! Change Joe to Deputy Mouse. DAD Hi, Joe. Your gardening crew has arrived. Elinor’s Dad ‘salutes’ with the garden gloves. Change to: "Is everything ok with your garden, Deputy Mouse?" ELINOR And we’re ready to help. Change the second and third sentences to: "Everything is NOT ok with my garden. LOOK! It's being invaded by WEEDS!" JOE MOUSE I’m so glad you’re here. These weeds are invading my garden! Just LOOK at them! Elinor looks. POV - his garden beds are full of DANDELIONS. Some are bright yellow, some white and fluffy with seed. A few TOMATO and BEAN PLANTS peek out here and there. Delete lines 17-21 (see note for line 2). ELINOR (confused) is it ok that she questioins 'weeds' here but then asks what they are in line 21 - Weeds? I only see fluffy dandelions. And those yellow flowers. DAD Actually, they’re both dandelions. He crouches by the garden bed, taking a yellow dandelion in hand. Elinor joins him. good to have some dandelions that are part yellow part white. In the process of turning DAD (CONT’D) First they grow yellow flowers like these... then the flowers turn into bunches of fluffy white seeds. He shows her a white seed head. Elinor nods. ELINOR Oh! So one’s younger and one’s older, but they’re the same plant. Joe comes over to offer his two cents. JOE MOUSE The same weed , you mean. ELINOR A weed? What a weed? "Add ""These ARE weeds!"" to the beginning of this line. Change ""hogging"" to ""taking""" JOE MOUSE A ‘weed’ is any plant that’s growing in the wrong place. And this is my veggie garden, not a - a dandelion farm. great getting in the needs of plants early (He parts the dandelions, to reveal a struggling tomato plant. then, tenderly...) deputy joe is our one cranky character. great to see him in full bloom here but balancing it with some comedy as his anger is comical. My poor vegetables can’t grow properly, with dandelions hogging all the space, water and sunshine. Give this line to Mr. Rabbit and change to: "How can we help, Deputy Mouse?" ELINOR Oh. How can we help your veggies? Joe picks up an empty bucket and hands it to her. "Change last sentence here to ""Then my vegetables can have more room to grow."" Then add a line below for Mr. Rabbit: Ok, we're on it. And add another line below for Joe: ""Great, thank you SO much, Elinor and Mr. Rabbit. I'll start over here. (then muttering as he walks off) Silly weeds, I'll show 'em who's boss...""" JOE MOUSE By pulling up all these dandelions, that’s how! I can’t wait to get started... Joe picks up a bucket for himself, and exits, muttering. See note for 24 JOE MOUSE (CONT’D) Silly weeds. I’ll show ‘em who’s boss... Elinor looks from the bucket to her Dad, confused. this is a nice message to share ELINOR Pull up the dandelions? But, Mom always says we shouldn’t pick flowers. DAD Well, that rule is for flowers growing in the wild. It's okay to pick things in a garden, IF you have permission. CUT TO Joe, whose hands are now wrapped around the biggest dandelion in his garden. He’s struggling to pull it up. Change first sentence to: "And you definitely have my (grunt) permission!" JOE MOUSE And you do. ( erf ) You really do. BACK ON Dad and Elinor. DAD It's called weeding. In a garden, it’s good to 'weed' out the plants you don't need, so that the plants you want, can grow better. This is a bit awkward. I think kids at home can get it intuitively? Just make this line "Ohhhh…." ELINOR (nodding) This line is awkward for a preschooler. I like that she notices the doublle meaning for the word. Maybe something like: So you have weeds. Like this ( she shows one). And you can “weed”? Oh. So a weed is a ‘thing’ and also something we can do? "Replace ""right"" with ""Ok, let's get started."" In description below, have Dad hand Elinor the bucket (Have them share a bucket, not each have one)." DAD Right. Now, here’s how you ‘weed’. First, loosen the soil a bit... Dad loosens the soil with a weeding tool. DAD (CONT’D) ...then get a good grip around the bottom, and pull. ( Uff !) He grips the base and pulls up the plant, root and all. Change "all" to "everything" ELINOR (impressed) sounds a bit old. maybe its better to come from her dad as he explains whats going on Whoa, you got the whole plant, roots and all. In description below, change "his" to "the" and add: "Elinor looks at all the weeds in the garden." DAD That’s how we do it. He puts the plant in his bucket. This line feels too adult, try another approach? ELINOR joe could possibly chime in 'i know! tell me about it!' Now we just have to do it a hundred more times. Dad laughs, and hands her a kid-sized pair of GARDEN GLOVES. add "gardening gloves" and delete last sentence. DAD ( laugh ) Here, I brought you some gloves. You’ll need ‘em. As she pulls them on and they get busy ‘weeding’, we DISSOLVE TO: 3. EXT. JOE MOUSE'S GARDEN / YARD (MINUTES LATER) Elinor sings a ditty to herself as she weeds a garden bed. The word "ditty" might confuse the production team. Just call it "sing-songs to herself" ELINOR (sings) Gardening , is my new thing, it makes me want to siiing ! Dad is working nearby. He grins. Elinor pulls up an especially big dandelion, revealing a struggling bean plant underneath. In description below, change "her" to "Their" ELINOR (CONT’D) Hi, green bean. Look, now you have more room to grow! She smooths the soil down, then adds the dandelion to a pile in her weeding bucket. Then, something occurs to her. Add this to beginning of line: "Uh oh, it looks like the bucket is full." Then use "deputy mouse" ELINOR (CONT’D) He goes by Deputy Joe Ranger Joe? What should we do with the dandelions we pull up? Ranger Joe beckons her over. Add "come here" to beginning of line. JOE MOUSE I’ll show you. Elinor gets up, grabs her bucket, and follows Joe over to a COMPOSTER . He opens a little door on the unit. JOE MOUSE (CONT’D) They go into my composter . We just open it up... dump in the weeds... (he does so) ...and shovel dirt on top. Joe pitches a shovelful of dirt on top of the dandelions. Elinor reacts with surprise and a bit of dismay. ELINOR Wha- why? This line is awkward grammatically and maybe too dense. Can you smooth it out and/or break it up more? JOE MOUSE Because it helps them to rot, and turn into compost. That’s plant food, to help my vegetables grow! note the shes preplexed here so we get the correct reading at record ELINOR Oh. Okay. Elinor goes back to her garden bed, with her empty bucket. Would putting dandelion seeds in the compost be unwise? Would dandelions grow in the garden as a result? ELINOR (CONT’D) Hmm. She kneels back down, looking thoughtful. Dad notices. DAD Everything okay, Elinor? Feels a little adult. Try "I guess. But it seems we're throwing out healthy plants. Are… etc." ELINOR language seems a little old. A child might say they are such pretty flowers they must be good for something other than compost. I guess. But it doesn’t seem right to throw out healthy plants. Are d andelions really not good for anything but compost? DAD I’ve never known a plant to be ‘not good for anything... ‘ Just then, a BUMBLEBEE flies between them, visiting a dandelion in the bed. Elinor brightens. (Dad and Elinor both stay quite calm and still, and just observe it.) Add "it's a bumblebee" elinor Look - bumblebee. Dad Mm, that’s a big one. TRACK WITH the bee, as it bee flies off to another dandelion. (This one’s in the lawn.) Then another. Curious, Elinor gets up to follow from a safe distance. ELINOR It’s going from dandelion to dandelion. Elinor passes Joe, who’s still comically tugging at the same big dandelion that just doesn’t want to come up. <SFX: RRRRR> ELINOR (CONT’D) I wonder why it’s doing that? Joe pauses to wipe his forehead. JOE MOUSE The bee? It’s drinking nectar and getting pollen from the flowers. Joe reaches for a pair of BINOCULARS, on a GARDEN BENCH. He hands them to Elinor so she can safely get a closer look. perhaps something a little more natural 'Here..now where did i leave them...oh there they are. (grabs them from bench) you’ll get a better look, without getting too close.' JOE MOUSE (CONT’D) Here, you’ll get a better look, without getting too close. ELINOR Thanks! BINOCULAR MATTE - as the bee comes into FOCUS, on the dandelion. It’s fuzz is covered in fluffy yellow pollen. ELINOR (os) (CONT’D) What’s all that powdery stuff on the bee? add "…it takes that back to the nest along with the nectar, for the young bees to eat" JOE MOUSE It’s pollen, from the flowers. It takes that back to the nest, for the young bees to eat. BACK TO WIDE - as the bee flies away. ELINOR So, bees get food from dandelions? "Add a line or a <SFX> for Elinor: Ohhhh…. Then a beat, and then she sees the hummingbird." JOE MOUSE Yep. Especially in the Spring, when no other flowers are blooming yet. Just then - <WHIR!> - a HUMMINGBIRD zips by. Add "A hummingbird!" ELINOR (delighted) ( gasp ) Hummingbird. She heads out of frame to follow it, leaving Joe to push up his sleeves and resume his battle with his big dandelion. ANGLE ON a dandelion which has gone to seed, as the hummingbird hovers over to it. Elinor moves closer and uses her binoculars again. BINOCULAR MATTE - the hummingbird comes into focus, just in time for Elinor to see it take a beak full of white fluff. ELINOR (os) (CONT’D) It’s taking some fluffy seeds. I wonder why! The bird zips out of frame. Elinor lowers the binoculars, excited. ELINOR (CONT’D) I need more observations. Elinor quickly follows the bird to the edge of Joe’s yard. CLOSE ON the hummingbird as it returns to a TINY NEST in the fork of a slender tree branch. It tucks the seed fluff into its nest. (The nest is already partly lined with it.) Break up the second sentence: "Oh, wow. It’s using the fluff to make its nest. Ooh, I bet that makes the nest soft and warm. eLINOR (OS) (CONT’D) Oh, wow. It’s using the fluff to make its nest soft and warm. BACK ON Elinor as her Dad quietly joins her. DAD Looks cozy, doesn’t it? ELINOR Yep. That’s a smart bird! Elinor looks thoughtful as she counts on her fingers. ELINOR (CONT’D) So, dandelions make food for bees, and their seed fluff is good for making bird nests? DAD That’s right. Some birds eat the dandelion seeds, too. ELINOR It seems like dandelions are good for lots of things. Dad nods in agreement. Dad It’s like I said - in nature, everything has a place. Even so-called weeds. Preschoolers would struggle with the term “so called”. JOE MOUSE (os, breathless) That’s true... CUT TO Joe, who is seriously losing patience with this giant dandelion that is still refusing to be pulled out. great that this sight gag continues throughout JOE MOUSE (CONT’D) ...but that place does NOT have to be in my veggie garden! ( strains ) Elinor and her Dad <SFX: TRY NOT TO LAUGH> Just then - Mz. llama (os) Joe? Are you home? WIDE - Elinor and her Dad turn to see Mz. Llama approaching, still carrying a basket. She chuckles when she sees them. Change to "Oh, hello Mr. Rabbit and Elinor." Mz. llama (CONT’D) Oh, hello! We meet again. Joe dusts off his hands for a moment. JOE MOUSE Morning, Mz. Llama. Can I help you? Mz. llama (hopeful) I hope so. Do you have any spinach growing in your garden right now? Joe makes a grumpy face. JOE MOUSE I wish . It’s mostly dandelions. Mz. llama (disappointed) I see. Hmm... ELINOR What’s the matter? Mz. llama I went to Farmer Bear’s to get spinach for my Spinach Surprise salad. But the surprise was on me. She’s all out of spinach! Mz. Llama shows them her still-empty basket. Change to "Oh no" (it seems too adult for her to intuit why the farmer ran out of spinach). ELINOR I guess everyone’s making salad for the party. Change "but" to "and" mz. llama Yes. But now I don’t know what I can bring! How can I make a salad, with no leafy greens? ANGLE ON Elinor. She looks down at her Dad’s bucket, which is brimming with picked dandelions. <SFX: HMMM WALLA> She gets an idea. ELINOR Dad, are dandelions safe to eat? DAD Good question! Most flowers are NOT safe to eat, so I’m glad you asked. You should never try one without asking first. Dad plucks a leaf from one of the plants in his bucket. does dad take a bite of one or we prefer to assume they wash them before eating? DAD (CONT’D) But as a matter of fact, dandelion leaves are safe to eat. ANGLE ON Mz. Llama, who has perked right up. "Break this line up after the first sentence, and add a beat where Elinor explains the idea. Something like: LLAMA: Oh, and not just safe, they're delicious in a salad! ELINOR: Mz. Llama, why don't you use THESE dandelion leafs to make your salad? MR. RABBIT: That's a great idea, Elinor. LLAMA: It is! I don't suppose... etc." Mz. llama Oh, and not just safe - they’re delicious in a salad! I don’t suppose Joe could spare any dandelions? Elinor grins. as noted above. he goes by Deputy Mouse ELINOR Let’s ask him. (calls, innocently) Good to talk about not eating flowers. Maybe even say kids should ask before eating dandelions. We would not want the show to say it’s safe to eat dandelions and then have kids think something is a dandelion that is not or eat dandelions that have been mingling with poison ivy. Ranger Joe? Would you mind if Mz. Llama took some of these dandelions? CUT TO Ranger Joe, who is pulling with all his might on his ‘Moby Dick’ of a dandelion. Just then, it finally comes free - <SFX: STRAIN AND RELEASE> - sending him flying backwards into big, soft clump of even MORE dandelions! He sits up, holding the bushy plant. JOE MOUSE ( Oof ) Mind? I’d be thrilled! Take ‘em, please! Take ‘em all! As the friends <SFX: CHUCKLE> and Mz. Llama accepts a bucketful of dandelions with delight, we DISSOLVE TO: 4. EXT. PARK - 'SALAD PARTY' LATER THAT DAY. Elinor, her Dad, Mz. Llama and Joe Mouse, RANGER RABBIT, ARI, OLIVE and MRS. COW all gather in the park. Two picnic tables have been pushed together to make one long dining table. Right down the middle are a line of salad bowls , with a selection of potluck salads. Thanks for changing to a park as suggested to help cut down on new locations OLIVE Mm, this is a great fruit salad, Ari. ARI Thanks! Mz. Llama is standing up, with a salad bowl. MZ. LLAMA Who wants the last of my dandelion salad? JOE MOUSE (quickly) I do! Elinor looks at him in surprise. Joe smiles sheepishly. JOE MOUSE (CONT’D) Can’t let it go to waste. ELINOR Speaking of waste... (Elinor indicates a third table nearby, which has a cutting board, knife , salad dressing bottles and a bowl of DANDELION FLOWERS AND STEMS.) ELINOR (CONT’D) What’s going to happen to all the flowers and stems, that aren’t good to eat? Mz. llama Oh! I know what they’re good for... Mz. Llama brings over the bowl of flowers and stems. Mz. llama (CONT’D) I used to do this all the time, as a little girl. ( ALT: little ‘cria’ ) Ari, Olive and Elinor lean in to watch as Mz. Llama quickly ties the flowers together. (OS) Then, she holds it up. Mz. llama (CONT’D) Ta-da ! You can make them into dandelion crowns, like this. She places it on Elinor’s head, and admires her work. Mz. llama (CONT’D) My, that looks - Elinor’s dad - Dandy? It sure does. Elinor looks brightly at Olive and Ari. ELINOR Let’s make crowns for everybody! Olive / ari (overlapping) Okay! / Sure! Ari and Olive get busy knotting the flower stems into ‘crowns’ as Elinor begins to SING... SONG MOMENT: 'Dandy Dandelions' Elinor indicates the rampant dandelions in the park lawn. ELINOR (SINGS) Oh you may wonder why I care about a plant that's everywhere But it helps Nature here and there It's more than just a weed Elinor delivers a flower crown to her Mom, then to Mz. Llama. The bumblebees can't get enough They eat its tasty flower stuff She then puts a ‘crown’ on her Dad - only this one has a head of seeds on it. He accidentally inhales a fluff - And hummingbirds like its cozy fluff. Dad <SFX: SNEEZES> It's more than just a weed Elinor scoops up a ‘bouquet’ of dandelions from the dandelion bowl to hold as she dances on the grass, singing the CHORUS: Dandy Dandelions, you're more than just a weed 'Cause every single part of you is something nature needs Ari and Olive (now crowned as well) join her in the dance. ELINOR/ ARI/ OLIVE Dandy Dandelions, you're more than just a weed 'Cause every single part of you is something nature needs The SONG ENDS, to cheers and applause from the adults. Everyone <SFX: CHEERS AND APPLAUDS> Just then, Olive notices that Ranger Joe’s head is bare. Change to Deputy Mouse OLIVE note. named deputy Joe Oh, Ranger Joe didn’t get a crown. Change to: "We'll make you one. You can be 'King of the Gardeners.'" ELINOR Well, we’d better make him one. He can be ‘king of the gardeners.’ Elinor quickly knots him a small crown, which Joe puts on. Haha nice. Give this line to Mr. Rabbit instead? Mz. llama He already is. Why, I’ve never known anyone so good at growing dandelions! As Joe’s pride dissolves into <SFX: AD LIB LAUGHTER>, we... FADE OUT.

EWW166 "Dandy Dandelions" D2 24-FEB-20

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ELINOR WONDERS WHY EP . 166 “Dandy Dandelions” By: Karen Moonah Elinor's Question: Are weeds, like dandelions, good for anything? Logline: Elinor learns that every plant has a purpose in nature, even the ones we call 'weeds'. LS3 . Understand that all animals need food to live and grow, that they get their food from plants or from other animals, and that plants need water and light to live and grow: a.) Observe ways that animals and plants get what they need to live and grow c.) Help care for living things at home or in the classroom (Elinor learns that a garden needs to be 'weeded' to thrive) LS5: Begin to understand that animals and plants depend on other living things and nonliving things in the environment to meet some of their needs: d.) Identify and observe the consequences of how plants and animals impact the environment. ( e.g . Dandelions provide food for bees, and building material for nests.) SEP7: Engaging in argument from evidence a.) Engage in discussions before, during, and after investigations. b.) Support thinking and argue ideas with evidence SEP8: Obtaining, evaluating and communicating information a.) Obtain information through discussing prior knowledge and observations with experts including teachers or knowledgeable adults Line Count: 118 Mains: Elinor, Elinor's Dad, Joe Mouse, Ms. Llama Secondary: Olive, Ari Locations: Path, Joe's Yard, Park Props: garden gloves, basket, weeding tool, buckets, composter , salad bowls, salad dressing bottles, outdoor tables OUTLINE: Jan 23, 2020 FIRST DRAFT: Feb. 14, 2020 SECOND DRAFT: Feb. 24, 2020 Ari Ari / Olive / elinor Crowd elinor Elinor / Olive ELINOR / Olive / ari ELINOR / Olive / ARI / farmer bear / lambs Elinor / Olive / ari / others eLINOR / Olive /a FARMER BEAR G L Lamb 1, 2, 3 / beaver LamB 1, 2, 3 / BEAVER / farmer bear / Olive / ari / elinor Mrs. Mrs. Gorilla Ms. Mole Olive Olive / ARI Olive / elinor Olive. Other students ROLLIE ROLLIE’S SISTER Sr Students Tomato mascot VARIOUS STUDENTS All kids ELINOR/ari MRS. Gorilla/elinor/olive/ari Mz. Mole Ranger rabbit Mr. Hippo Mr. Beaver ARI / OLIVE / MR. BEAVER Philbert O\ PHILBERT / OLIVE / ARI! Audience Dad Ms. llama Elinor / dad dad / elinor Joe mouse Elinor / dad / ms. Llama Elinor’s dad Ms. LLAMA / joe / olive / ari / elinor Elinor / ari / olive Joe mouse / elinor’s dad / ms. Llama / elinor / ari / Olive Dad / ranger rabbit / ms. Llama / joe (V.O.) (O.S.) (O.C.) (CONT'D) (SUBTITLE) (to herself) (muffled) (os) (thoughtful) (grins) (sings) (CALLS) (SHEEPISH) (cheery) (part os) INT EXT I/E 6. EXT 1 2 A SOUVENIR STAND DROP LADDER BEAVERS' PRACTICE AREA SCHOOLYARD CLASSROOM MRS. GORILLA'S JUICE CART INT. CLASSROOM ANIMAL TOWN EXT. ELINOR'S HOUSE INT. ELINOR'S HOUSE MR. HIPPO'S STORE MR. BEAVER'S WORKSHOP FARMER BEAR'S TREE FARM ELINOR'S HOUSE INT. A 'BIG TOP' CIRCUS (FANTASY) SCHOOL PLAYGROUND PLAYGROUND DAY NIGHT AFTERNOON MORNING EVENING LATER MOMENTS LATER CONTINUOUS THE NEXT DAY MINUTES LATER ESTABLISHING KITCHEN DAY MONTAGE CUT TO: FADE IN: FADE OUT. FADE TO: DISSOLVE TO: BACK TO: MATCH CUT TO: JUMP CUT TO: FADE TO BLACK. ‘fluff’ wipe to: ‘wheel’ wipe to: