Really cute, nice job. Just a few notes below. Thanks 1. EXT. NEAR ELINOR’S HOUSE – DAY The draft shows how this could be fun...pretending not to be scared but jumping at every startling moment. I do like the introduction to what a model is (more notes on this below). I was wondering if you have considered having Elinor Ari and Olive go out into the playground to look for spiders and each find a web that is not what they designed and thinking they will need to change their model completely...when they get back together as a group they learn from eachother about the different designs. I feel like this gives purpose to the learning about multiple webs and supports the need for communication and helping each other. It’s a BEAUTIFUL FALL DAY. OPEN ON: An ORANGE leaf, wiggling on a branch as a breeze blows by. Then, the leaf detaches and FLUTTERS downward, drifting this way and that. really nice first draft. Below, we see Elinor, Ari and Olive on their way to school. Let's make it a beautiful slightly overcast fall day, just to set the mood. Also, let's catch the kids giggling as we start to set a positive mood. ELINOR suggest as we follow the leaf down, we see elinor hopping down her fromt steps to the waiting ari and olive ... Are you scared? OlIVE Why should we be scared? Elinor wiggles her fingers and tries to look “spooky”. Hmm, let's replace "ghosts and goblins" with "spooky things". Not sure little kids will know what a goblin is. ELINOR ‘Cause it’s almost Halloween. ( using scary voice) That’s when ghosts and goblins appear out of nowhere. nice intro - like the visuals. when the leaf lands on aris head and he is startled leaping to the tree - the leaf would immediately fall off - but we can still have the leaf float down slowly as the girl look up seeing ari clutched to a branch as the leaf makes its way down to elinors feet. Ari That doesn’t scare me. Nothing scares me! Just then the leaf lands right on Ari’s head! <SFX: STARTLED SHOUT> Ari leaps into the air and ends up hanging from a tree. Elinor and Olive <SFX: GIGGLE>. The leaf falls off Ari and Elinor picks it up to show him. ELINOR It was just a leaf, Ari. Ari lets go and drops to the ground, trying to regain composure. could add 'so...what were we talking about?' ARI I knew that. I was just kidding. They continue walking. olive can respond 'halloween, which i love!' OlivE I love Halloween. ArI Me too. Elinor stops and turns to the other two. ELINOR And you know what the best part of Halloween is, right? Ari and Olive <SFX: AGREEMENT WALLA>. ELINOR (CONT’D) ( confidently ) The cool decorations. Ari and Olive look at each other, confused. ARI Huh? Feels a little negative. Try, "Decorations aren't the best part of Halloween." OLIVE It’s not the decorations. Ari shakes his head in agreement with Olive. Ari Nuh-uh . OLIVE It’s the costumes. Ari nods his head. Then stops and looks at Olive, surprised. Ari Right... Wait. What? Ari looks at Olive, then Elinor like they’ve got two heads. Add to second sentence: The best part of Halloween is the candy! Ari (CONT’D) could have ari over the top '...its allllll the delicious candy!' It’s not the costumes or the decorations. It’s the candy! Instead of "what would Halloween be" suggest changing to "it wouldn't be Halloween" ELINOR Okay, the candy is good, but what would Halloween be without all those cool, scary decorations - like jack-o-lanterns and ghosts? Suggest instead, "…dressed as something fun?" Olive But what about making a costume and going around the neighbourhood dressed like somebody else? There's a double "but" here. Suggest, "Sorry, costumes are fun and scary decorations are nice, but Halloween is all about the candy. Am I right?" Ari I’m sorry, but costumes are fun and scary decorations are nice, but Halloween is all about the candy. Am I right? maybe she says something about having different ways of thinking about Halloween and then later could be related to different ways spiders make thier homes (webs). Olive Can’t we all be right? Ari's line sort of hangs...do we need it? ARi I don’t know. to conitinue with how ari and olive are discussing this. suggest 'Well I do know that we’ll be late for school if we don’t hurry. com'on! I can’t wait to see what Mz. Mole’s doing for Halloween'. eLINOR Well I know we’ll be late for school if we don’t hurry. I can’t wait to see what Mz. Mole’s doing for Halloween. <SFX: EXCITED WALLA> as they race off. 2. EXT. SCHOOLYARD – MOMENTS LATER The kids race into the schoolyard. These lines (23, 24) feel a little awkward. Can you make them more natural? Try, "I hope there are lots of scary decorations." ElinoR I still say scary decorations are the best part of Halloween. Then Ari says, "Well, I'm not scared of anything." Ari And I still say I’m not scared of anything. Suddenly Olive has a surprised look on her face as she looks toward the school. Olive What’s that? They look at the window and see a silhouette of a witch! ARI A witch!! He leaps behind Olive and peeks out from behind as they all stare at the window. Then, Mz. Mole opens the curtain and they see that she’s wearing a witch’s hat . She smiles and waves at the kids. ELINOR ( giggle ) It’s just Mz. Mole. She loves Halloween too. Ari comes out from behind Olive, trying to look cool. perhaps a different excuse this time. 'just trying to scare you both into thinking it was a real witch...you know?' elinor and olive giggle. elinor 'uh-huh' olive 'oh ari..' Ari I knew it was her. I was just being funny. Elinor and Olive smile, amused by their friend. 3. INT. CLASSROOM – MOMENTS LATER Elinor, Olive and Ari run into the classroom. Other kids are already there, working on their own projects, and there are already a few DECORATIONS up. Mz. Mole, who is still wearing her witch’s hat greets them. <SFX: GREETINGS> in the halloween theme, maybe she calls them a cute name ....ex 'good morning gouls and goblins...' Mz. Mole Good Morning. Welcome to Halloween Headquarters. We’re making decorations for the classroom. Want to help? OLIVE Sure! ArI I’m in. ElINOR Halloween decorations are my favourite thing. Nice Mz. MOLE I would remove the word "three" from this sentence...maybe kids have other ideas. Well, it’s one of the three things that make Halloween fun - along with costumes and candy, of course. Elinor, Olive and Ari look at each other in surprise. Even better than being 'all right' would be the idea that their ideas together (collective thinking helps us think more broadly) matches what MZ. mole said. OLIVE See? We were all right. Add ", Mz. Mole?" at the end? ELINOR location design - we have cubbies, she can bend down and pull out a small bin with yarn and supplies. What can we make? Mz. Mole peers into the cupboard. Then she spots something. Mz. MOLE Let’s see... Ah! What about spiderweb decorations? Elinor, Olive and Ari respond with enthusiastic <SFX: WALLA> as Mz. Mole pulls out some supplies - balls of yarn and glue . MZ. MOLE (CONT’D) Here are some supplies. Do you all know what a spiderweb looks like? The kids dive into the supplies, pulling out yarn. Elinor Sure. OLIVE I think so. Ari I do. In description below, have kids walk to a table. Also, replace "criss-crossed" with "outward-pointing" Mz. MOLE Okay, let’s see what you come up with. Elinor and Olive start working on their webs. We see Elinor laying down criss-crossed pieces of yarn and then gluing longer pieces of yarn around in kind of a circle. Does the color tie back into the learning? If not I would not make this a big deal. Elinor I’m using black yarn for my spider web. That’ll make it scarier looking. We see Olive laying down four pieces of yarn joined at one end and then laying pieces of yarn across them to make a triangular shape. Olive I’m using gold, so it looks like it’s in the sun. Ari has his back turned to them. We see his arms flying as he works on his web, but we can’t see what he’s doing. ElINOR What colour is your spider web going to be, Ari? Ari still has his back to them, but he’s not working on his web anymore. Great line Ari Not “going to be.” I’m done. Elinor and Olive look surprised. Ari turns around to show a big messy tangle of yarn. ArI (CONT’D) Ta da ! A spiderweb. Elinor and Olive look at each other, puzzled. ELINOR Mmm , I don’t think a spiderweb looks like that. ArI It doesn’t? What’s it look like then? Elinor turns to her project and holds up her version, which is not quite finished but we can see the shape - it’s a TRADITIONAL ORB WEB. ELINOR Like this. Kind of. I think. Ari looks puzzled and Olive looks surprised. Olive Mmmm . I think a spiderweb looks like this. She holds up her version, which has strands of yarn attached in a triangle shape, like a TRIANGLE WEB. Ari shakes his head and holds up his mess of yarn, which looks like a TANGLE WEB. could remind the audience that there are other kids in the class who are also making decorations. perhaps another scare scene from ari, koa taps ari on the shoulder holding a funny mask in front of his face. ari jumps and hides under the table. koa, 'woah ari, dont worry, this guys chill' Ari Uhn uhn . It’s like this. Isn’t it? The three of them look confused. Mz. Mole comes over. mz. MOLE How are my spiderweb builders doing? ElinoR Not so well, Mz. Mole. Can you tell us which one looks like a real spiderweb? As the kids show her their webs, Mz. Mole pauses to think. is this perhaps complex to explain and have our audience understand? 'They all seem like good models - that’s an example you make of something real' perhaps 'they all seem like good examples of spider webs...' MZ. MOLE I think it is good to introduce 'a model' is a copy/ example of something that we can use to talk about it They all seem like good models - that’s an example you make of something real. But, hmmmm ... I’m trying to remember what a REAL spiderweb looks like. The kids react with realization. Replace "one" with "a real spiderweb" Olive I haven’t seen one for a while. add "for me" at the end. Ari It’s been like forever. Elinor leads the way outside. Make this an idea? Something like, "I know. Let's go outside and look for real spiderwebs." ELINOR should we have the kids ask mz.mole if its ok? otherwise the kids just got up from class to go outside It’s time to go on a spiderweb hunt. "Add ""Good idea, Elinor."" at the beginning of this line. Then maybe Ari can say, ""Let’s go on a spiderweb hunt!""" Olive Then we’ll know how to make one that looks like the real thing. <SFX: EXCITED WALLA> As they head out. Mz. Mole watches and <SFX: CHUCKLES>. 4. EXT. SCHOOLYARD – MOMENTS LATER Outside the kids are hunting around looking for a web. Elinor looks around a tree. Olive peers into some shrubs. Ari is investigating the other side of the shrubs. Consider the characters splitting up to look and all finding different webs...would help take away some of the comments below. elinOR Have you found a spiderweb yet? Ari Nothing here. Suddenly, Olive pops up just on the other side of the shrub, startling Ari. OLIVE Nothing here either. Ari does a back flip. ARI Aaah ! He immediately leaps to his feet. Ari (CONT’D) I wasn’t scared. Olive <SFX: GIGGLE> as Elinor joins the two of them. ElinoR Where do you look to find a spiderweb? Olive gets an idea. I am wondering if this supports the learning goal or detracts from it. I think spiderwebs are easier to find than spiders but it is not really a big deal. OLIVE Since spiders make webs, maybe if we find a spider, it’ll lead us to its web. Ari Great idea, Olive. ElinOR First we find the spider, then we find the web. Let’s go. SERIES OF SHOTS: Elinor, Olive and Ari look for spiders in various spots around the schoolyard. End with shot of Elinor standing underneath a branch. Ari and Olive come and join her. Elinor (CONT’D) No spiders. Maybe we’re looking in the wrong place. ON: Olive, whose face lights up. Olive You’re right Elinor. You should look up. Elinor’s eyes go up and there’s a spider walking upside down on the branch above her. She breaks out in a big smile. suggest ari runs over to join them. i would assume olive is close to elinor already since she spotted the spider on the branch above elinor ELINOR ( gasp ) A spider. Olive and Ari hurry over to get a closer look. Ari Okay, we’ve found a spider, but where’s its web? Olive Let’s watch where it goes. They watch for a second, and then <SFX: WHOOSH!> The spider drops through the frame. We see their surprised faces. Give this to Elinor and add "It fell" at the end OLIVE (CONT’D) Oh no. Again I feel like this might be slightly distracting from the main point. Lines 72-81 about what a web is made from never goes back into conversatino of the characters models. Not sure if this is needed. Ari I hope it didn’t hurt itself. I know what it feels like when I forget to flap my wings and fall on the ground. But then Elinor crouches down and looks amazed as she sees the spider suspended by a thin silky strand. ElinoR But it didn’t fall on the ground. Look. Ari and Olive drop down to see. ELINOR (CONT’D) It’s hanging from a really thin kind of thread. Ari Where’d that come from? The spider starts weaving its web. There's a lot of vocabulary here. Let's break it up a bit and simplify? "Oh, I remember. My mom told me that spiders make their own threads out of silk." OLIVE Oh. I remember my mom told me that spiders spin their own strands of silk. ON: Elinor, Olive and Ari, giving time for the spider to spin more of its web. Ari So the spider is making a web from its own silk? OLIVE Uh huh. See? Olive points to the spider which is quickly creating a web. They follow its movements, with great curiosity. Delete "the silk" and replace "strand" with "thread". ElinoR Look how it climbs up the silk and then starts another strand. That’s so cool. ArI Yeah. But it doesn’t look anything like the web I made. Ari gets a THOUGHT BUBBLE over his head, showing him holding up his tangle of yarn. Olive looks at the spider web uncertainly. There are some angled strands that look like her Triangle web. She points out the angled lines. OliVE See these lines? They look a little like the web I was making. She gets a THOUGHT BUBBLE over her head, showing her holding up her Triangle Web. They continue to watch as the spider creates another portion of the web that confirms that it’s an Orb Web. Suggest a better last sentence: "I think it's going to look just like the web I made." Elinor Jorge and Daniel - we will need to cheat the time it really takes for a spider to make a web. when we go up to the thought bubble and back down, we'll 'Fast forward' the web making process. otherwise itll really slow down the story to wait and watch the spider make enough to look like an Orb web Hmmm ... Look at the circle it’s making. I think it’s going to be just like my web. Elinor gets a THOUGHT BUBBLE over her head, showing her holding up her Orb Web. Olive and Ari are confused. They plunk down on the ground. OLive I don’t get it. I know I’ve seen a spider web that looks like the one I made. ArI And I’m sure I’ve seen one that looks like the web I made. olive There’s got to be an explanation. Elinor looks at her friends. Then she spots another spider. This is fine...it just seems like a stretch of how a young child would act... Elinor Look. There’s another spider. Ari leaps up and looks at it. Add a line after this one for Olive: "Yeah, it must be a different kind." Ari It looks different from the first spider. Elinor looks pensive. Then she has a thought. Elinor That’s SO interesting. Olive gets what she’s thinking. Olive ( gasp ) Oh. I know what you’re thinking. ArI You do? What is she thinking? I feel like they could more easily come to this conclusion if they all found different webs. OLIVE Maybe a different kind of spider makes... Suddenly Ari gets it too! ARI A different kind of web. ELINOR Right. We need more observations! Ari Follow that spider! They follow the spider as it scurries up a tree and then along a branch until it takes them to ... a perfect TRIANGLE WEB! Olive is thrilled. <SFX: EXCITED WALLA> OLIVE Look. This web is shaped like a triangle. It’s almost exactly like the web I made. ElinoR So there are two different kinds of spiderwebs. Ari forms a thought. Ari Wait. If one spider makes a web like Elinor’s ... and a different spider makes a web like Olive’s ... maybe there’s another kind of spider that makes a web like mine. ELINOR Let’s look. Another sequence : The kids searching around trees, flowers and shrubs. It ends with Ari lying beside a shrub and smiling smugly. ARI ( singsongy ) Oh Elinor. Oh Olive. Look what I found. Olive and Elinor come over to see Ari pointing into the mass of leaves, where there’s a TANGLE WEB. It looks like Ari’s web - a big tangled mess, with a SPIDER in the middle. OLIVE Ari. It’s just like your web. Ari Uh huh. So there’s definitely more than one kind of spider’s web. Elinor’s face lights up. do we need to reiterate the three things they each love about halloween? - to remind the audience. ELINOR Just like there’s more than one great thing about Halloween. OliVE Let’s go tell Mz. Mole. They race back to the classroom. 5. INT. CLASSROOM – MOMENTS LATER Elinor, Olive and Ari race into the classroom. <SFX: EXCITED WALLA> They <SFX: SCREECH> to a stop when they see what looks like a ghost floating through the room! Add, "Gasp! It's" at the beginning of this line. Ari A g-ghost !! Ari dives under a desk. From behind the “ghost”, Mz. Mole peeks out, and we see that it’s a sheet that she’s about to hang in the corner. MZ. MOLE Ari? Are you okay? Ari, realizing his mistake, slides out from under the desk. Ari I was just ... um ... checking out for ghosts under the desk. It’s all clear. Elinor and Olive <SFX: giggle > as Ari joins them. Mz. MOLE Did you find a spiderweb? ELINOR We didn’t find a spiderweb, Mz. Mole. Mz. MOLE Oh? ELINOR We found three spiderwebs. Mz. MOLE Oh! Olive And they were all different. Italicize "spiders" to help the actor put the right emphasis. Ari Because the spiders were all different. Add "kinds of" between "different" and "spiders". Then suggest delete "of spider" in the third sentence. Mz. MOLE this may be a bit much to understand without further explanation ie. that spiders use their webs to catch food and the process? . 'Because each kind of spider has a different way of catching food in their webs' Instead of saying because they catch food differently you could say "just like each of our houses are different" Well aren’t you clever. You figured out that different spiders make different kinds of webs. Because each kind of spider has a different way of catching food in their webs. Isn’t Nature wonderful? ElINOR As wonderful as Halloween decorations. Let’s get decorating. As Elinor, Olive and Ari finish their webs (making them bigger) and hang them in different parts of the classroom, they sing: SONG: MORE THAN ONE WAY The song is cute and earnest but it seems a bit on-the-nose and the lines seem kind of long. See if you can make it catchier and add more content. ELINOR/olive/ari ELINOR: You do it that way And I do it this way. OLIVE: We each have our own way. ARI: And that’s okay! ‘Cause there’s more than one way To do almost everything. And each of those ways is great, right? Yes, each of those ways is great! ELINOR: My web’s a circle. the first time this is sung 'And each of those ways is great, right? Yes, each of those ways is great!' you have only ari singing, but the second time its all three. suggest this is also sung by all three. Also, can we perhaps add some halloween fun into the song. OLIVE: And mine is a triangle. ARI: And mine’s just a tangle. And that’s okay! ‘Cause there’s more than one way To do almost everything. WOuld be great to get the idea of "making a model" into the song And each of those ways is great, right? Yes, each of those ways is great! By the end of their song, they’ve finished hanging their three different webs around the class. Mz. Mole looks around admiring them. all the kids in the class were making decorations for their classroom. suggest we dont just focus on our three mains, the montage can show all kids hanging their different 'halloween themed' decorations. and mz.mole recognized how wonderful they all look. she can still celebrate how all the decorations are different because they are too Mz. MOLE Your spider web decorations are wonderful! And you know what I like best about them? Elinor, Olive and Ari don’t know but they’re eager to hear her answer. like last line! Mz. MOLE (CONT’D) They’re all different. Just like you! <SFX: HAPPY WALLA>

EWW163 More Than One Way D1 January 27, 2020

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ELINOR WONDERS WHY EWW163 More Than One Way by Kate Barris Elinor’s Question: Are all spider webs the same? Logline: Elinor, Olive and Ari want to make spiderwebs to decorate the classroom for Halloween, and they all think they know what a spider web looks like. But which one right? Curriculum Goals: LS8 . Observe and describe similarities and differences across different types of plants and animals. (Elinor And her friends observe the different patterns of spiders’ webs). SEP2 . Developing and using models a. Represent observable, concrete objects, events, and findings in many different ways. (Elinor and her friends make models of different spider's webs). Main Characters: Elinor, Olive, Ari, Mz . Mole Incidental Characters: Other kids in the classroom Backgrounds: Schoolyard, trees, shrubs Props: Witch's hat, yarn glue, three different spiders, spider webs, ghostly sheet, other Halloween decorations. FIRST DRAFT January 27, 2020 Elinor Elinor/olive/ari Ari Olive Elion Mr. Dog Ari/olive Ari’s mom Ari’s little sister Air Ms. Mole Mr. Mole Art Olie Mr. Hamster Mary Lizzie Liszzie Mary & lizzie Mr. Hm Mr. N Kids Elinr Elinor/ari/Olive Senor tapir Oiive Olive/ari Eline Ari & olive Mz. Mole (V.O.) (O.S.) (O.C.) (CONT'D) (SUBTITLE) (thing-ese)_ (thing-ESE) INT EXT I/E 7 1 6 3. EXT 1. EXT 5 TRANSITION CIRCLE TIME SCIENCE STATION ACTIVITY BOARD COMPUTER STATION OPIE MONOLOGUE OPENING TITLES SEQUENCE COLD OPENING OPENING TITLES BLOCK AREA CIRCLE TIME SONG DOORWAY TO KINDERGARTEN COATROOM COATROOM - CUBBIES SENSES TABLE BAHTROOM BATHROOM CIRCLE RUB OPIE FANTASY DRAMA CENTRE CREDITS. PLAYGROUND - CATERPILLAR PLAYGROUND - NEAR THE SLIDES PLAYGROUND - TEEPEE LARGE SHRUB CUBBY AREA CLASSROOM HOLEY WALL CREATIVITY CENTRE CLASS - BETWEEEN MATH AND SCIENCE CIRCLE TIME RUG MATH CENTRE INT. CLASSROOM ICY SNOWY EXPANSE OUTSIDE SALLY'S HOUSE THE THINGAMAJIGGER FRICTIONARIUM FRICTIONARIUM - RAMPS THINGAMAJIGGER THINGAMAJIGGER -HEADING HOME NICK'S BACKYARD NICK'S BACK DOOR SERENDIP PATH SERENDIP FIRST PATH INT. SERENDIP CLOSER TO SCHOOL – A LITTLE LATER THE PARK UPSTREAM NARROWS THE BANK OF A SMALL STREAM BANK OF THE STREAM FISHY POOL INT. CLASSROOM – MOMENTS LATER DAY NIGHT AFTERNOON MORNING EVENING LATER MOMENTS LATER CONTINUOUS THE NEXT DAY CUBBIES SAME SAME TIME AERIAL ESTABLISHING SHOT CUT TO: FADE IN: FADE OUT. FADE TO: DISSOLVE TO: BACK TO: MATCH CUT TO: JUMP CUT TO: FADE TO BLACK. Order Title Location ARI ARI