Looking good, Kathy. Jammed with lots of berry sweet moments and ripe with lots of funny lines. I think we are about a page short, so suggest we add more of Elinor and Olive thinking things through. Specific notes below. Thanks! 1. EXT. CAMPSITE – DAY "Total Line Count: 114 Elinor - 48 Olive - 33 Ranger Rabbit - 21 Mr Rabbit - 12 " I think the changes make the learning more clear. CU: On ELINOR and OLIVE’s happy little faces, <SFX: GIGGLING LIKE MAD> in anticipation. They are tucked in a pup-tent gluing together construction paper and tissue flowers (that look very fake). Olive tapes on the last petal. ElINOR (whispering) Ready? Olive nods. The kids sneak out of the tent, Elinor has a nice big home-made card, Olive has the flowers. In the near-distance they see MR. RABBIT, sitting in a camping chair, enjoying the first coffee of the morning. With a <SFX: GIGGLE and a SHHHH> they sneak up to him and… ELINOR/OLIVE HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY/MR. RABBIT!! Dad jumps tipping his chair and falling over. Dad W ha? What happened? Wh o ’s there? H e stands to straighten his chair upright . Add "It's" to the beginning of line. Elinor Us! Did we surprise you, Daddy? Mr. Rabbit Oh, sweetie, y ou sure did... ELINOR GOOD ! We wanted you to have a REALLY special birthday... Olive hands him the paper flowers. Olive We made them ourselves, just for you! Great parent moment. Mr. Rabbit They’re beautiful, girls. (takes a big, comic SNIFF) Oooh, they smell so goooood! Olive and Elinor <SFX: GIGGLE> even more. Elinor (giggling) Those flowers don’t smell, Daddy. Olive (giggling) They’re made of paper! Suggest "nice" or "beautiful" instead of "pretty"? MR. RABBIT Oh? Well they’re still very pretty. Elinor hands him a home-made card. ELINOR And here’s your birthday card we made. Mr. Rabbit admires the card as CU: Elinor points out the drawings. Elinor (CONT’D) See, it’s you, doing all your favourite things. This is you sleeping in on Saturday morning. Elinor points to her drawing - Dad in bed ELINOR (CONT’D) And this is you taking a nap in your favourite chair. A nother drawing- Dad in the chair . ELINOR (CONT’D) And THIS is you sleeping in the tent when we’re camping, see all the fireflies? Final image: A nighttime camping scene with a tent and fireflies - Mr. Rabbit’s feet are coming out of the flap. WIDEN: Ranger Rabbit smiles as she walks OS with a steaming new cup of coffee. RaNGER RABBIT Do I sense a pattern here? ELINOR Sleeping! Ranger Rabbit hands Mr. Rabbit the fresh cup of coffee. MR. RABBIT (to Ranger Rabbit) Thank you, darling. What can I say? Elinor knows what her Dad likes. (to Elinor) B est birthday card ever, hunny bunny. He gives her a big hug as he holds up his coffee protectively . ElINOR Olive helped. Split the second sentence: "…our camping trip. And it just so happens…" MR. RABBIT Thanks, Olive. We’re so happy you came on our camping trip that just happens to be my birthday too. OlIVE Happy birthday, Mr. Rabbit. Olive gives Mr. Rabbit a hug. ELINOR I know something else you’d like on your birthday, Dad...BREAKFAST! Feel like we need a better closer for this scene. Maybe "Breakfast? That's my other favorite thing. How did you know?" then <GIGGLES> all around. MR. RABBIT Hmmm, that does sound nice. 2. EXT. Cooking area - moments later Over by the cooking area (camp fire, small camp stove) Ranger Rabbit has just finished toasting the toast. Should be more clear? "Ok, you girls are in charge of putting jam on the toast" RANGER RABBIT You girls are in charge of the jam. ELINOR That’s the best part! As Ranger Rabbit hands Elinor the toast, Olive looks inside the jam jar. OLIVE Wha-oh, the jam jar is empty. ELINOR What? No strawberry jam? That’s Dad’s favourite ! (to her Mom) Mom, we have to go to the store right now and get more jam. RaNGER RABBIT Sorry sweetie, there’s no store out here in the forest . I think we can extend this sad beat more. Add to the end of the line: "I'll just eat it plain." MR. RABBIT Just the way we like it. Don’t worry, girls . I don ’t need jam on my toast... Elinor brings him his toast. He <SFX: TAKES A BITE, THEN CHEWS, CHEWS, CHEWS> Then drinks a whole cup of coffee. <SFX: GULP> Not sure it's clear for kids. Change "As long as" to "Good thing" MR. RABBIT (CONT’D) Ahhhh. A s long as we brought lots of coffee! Elinor and Olive look at each other. <SFX: Hmmmm>. 3. EXT. CAMPSITE – LATER The kids are rinsing the dishes in a bucket with special, safe-for-living things soap and discussing the situation as Dad naps in his camp chair in the background <SFX: SNOOORE>. Not sure it's clear for kids (what does "isn’t right" mean?). Try "Dad loves strawberry jam. I wish he could have some for his birthday." ELINOR this felt fast...it is always important to state the problem clearly for young kids...even soometimes saying "the problem is" and the. compare dry toast with yummy jam toast and the importance of it being a special day. Dad loves strawberry jam. His birthday just isn’t right without it. OlIVE I know, but what can we do? Ranger Rabbit overhears and comes over. The mom seems a little too ready with her idea, and too on the ball. Let's make it so it's clear she just came up with the idea, and she's making things up as she goes along, and she's getting excited too about the possibility of making jam here. E.g. change this line to "Hmm... I have an idea. Why don't we MAKE some strawberry jam." RaNGER RABBIT I have an idea. Let’s MAKE some strawberry jam. Then after line 34, add something like, "Ranger Rabbit is surprised by this idea herself." ELINOR You can MAKE jam? RANGER RABBIT Sure. Even the jam you buy in the store is made by someone. Then after line 36, add something lie, "Ranger Rabbit thinks for a beat. She's making it up as she goes along." OlIVE But where are we going to get the strawberries if we can’t go to the store? really like j and d suggestion about RR co-planning with the kids. In this line adding the word 'should ' - That means there should be wild strawberries growing all around- helps to keep the adventure outcome for the kids. RaNGER RABBIT Lucky for us, it’s strawberry season. That means there are wild strawberries growing all around. OlIVE Really? Then change "I'm pretty sure" to "I think I remember" adding to my comment above maybe RR encourages the kids to see if they can find any strawberries...matbe even prompting them "you know what they look like right? and having the kids respond with a description of a ripe strawberry. RaNGER RABBIT adding to my comment above maybe RR encourages the kids to see if they can find any strawberries...matbe even prompting them "you know what they look like right? and having the kids respond with a description of a ripe strawberry. Yep, I’m pretty sure there’s a strawberry patch in the field right beside us. Elinor Let’s go get some! "Add an exclamation after ""Okay"" Delete ""around"" Change ""some"" to ""the""" RANGER RABBIT Okay, I just have to few more things to do around here first. Why don’t you girls go see if you can find some strawberries, and when I get there we’ll pick them together. The girls run off with a <SFX: YAY!> "After line 41, let's have the girl just say walla YES/YAY and add a PSA from Ranger Rabbit here to replace line 42: RR: Now remember, you can't eat berries you find without an adult there. E: Got it! RR: Ok, off you go! E/O: Yay! Let's go find strawberrries!" RaNGER RABBIT (CONT’D) (calling) Remember, no picking without me! (DESIGN NOTE: perhaps the campsite is on a little rise overlooking their field? And Ranger Rabbit is looking out? Whatever the design it should be clear that the kids remain within Elinor’s parent’s view.) 4. EXT. FOREST/STAWBERRY FIELD – DAY Elinor and Olive make their way through the trees and step out into the sunlight. Their faces light up with the glory of what they see before them. THEIR POV: The splendor of an early summer meadow of grasses, wildflowers, bees and butterflies all dappled in sweet morning sunshine. <SFX: Oooooh!> . Olive This is where your mom said there would be strawberries. ELINOR Let’s GO! WIDEN: Olive runs and Elinor hops all over the pretty field. ELINOR (CONT’D) (as she bounces) None here! None Here! And no strawberries here either. OlIVE (calling) Strawberries! Where are youoooo? ELINOR (giggling) The strawberries can’t hear you Olive. They don't have ears. OLIVE Oh, right. THOUGHT BUBBLE Shows a strawberry with ears. The ears disappear then the bubble <SFX: POPS> The girls both <SFX: LAUGH> as they keep looking. ANGLE ON: Olive sees something. OLIVE (CONT’D) Ooooh, look at these, Elinor. ANGLE ON: Some pretty white strawberry blossoms. ELINOR They’re really pretty, Olive, but we’re not looking for flowers, we’re looking for strawber...oh, wait, what’s this? Elinor reaches down and moves the leaves and strawberry blossoms. "In the following pages, let's add a little more of the thought process the girls are going through. In this line, replace ""only they're"" with ""but these are"", then add: Do you think they're strawberries? OLIVE: I don't know… they have the same shape as strawberries. But strawberries are usually bigger and red. Then add a description below this line: ""Olive looks around and spots something."" (instead of moving the leaves. Let's have them move to different spots for each kind of strawberry)" ELINOR (CONT’D) like j and d suggestion of Olive's line...as much compartive language as you can naturally put in is good Strawberries! I think...only they’re small and white. Olive moves the leaves a little more, revealing green berries. "Let's draw out this line more. Something like: OLIVE: Oh look! I think these are strawberries. Olive parts some leaves at a different spot and reveals green berries. ELINOR: Hmmm, but these are green… and even smaller. I've never heard of green strawberries." OLIVE Look at these ones, they’re even smaller, and GREEN! Whoever heard of green strawberries? Olive and Elinor <SFX: LAUGH> then Elinor reaches down and moves the leaves revealing big, RED berries. Have Elinor look at a different spot, then add a <GASP> to the beginning of this line. ELINOR Now THESE are strawberries. Change this to: "Yes they are! They look like strawberries AND they're bigger and red. OlIVE Are they ever! So big and red. But now Elinor gets curious. Add a bit: "But wait, what about the green and white berries we found - Are they strawberries too?" ELINOR But wait, what about the green and white ones - can they be strawberries too? Add a bit: "Hmmm, I'm not sure. They sort of look like strawberries… Dun, dun dun! Sounds like a strawberry mystery! OLIVE Hmmm, I’m not sure. Dun, dun, dunnnn , sounds like a mystery! Change this line to: "I know! Let's compare them! We need more observations!" ELINOR We need MORE observations! Buu-ut Mom said not to pick anything until she gets here. "Change this line to something like: ""I'll go get my paper so we can draw them"" Then have Olive run off back to the tent and grab some paper from the paper stash they were using earlier. Then write that Olive returns with the papers and draws a picture of each strawberry on a separate sheet." OlIVE just a suggestion: It would be great if Elinor could be sharing a description about color and size to help Elinor draw I know! I’ll draw them and we can observe the drawings. Olive draws a picture of each strawberry on a separate sheet of paper. "Change this line to something like ""Ok, let's see. First, we found these white strawberries."" E: Then we found the small green ones. As they draw, they revisit the spots where they found them. O: Then we found the red ones. Then it's Elinor that grabs the papers and lays them out." OlIVE (CONT’D) White, green, red. She lays out the drawings side by side: White, green, red. ELINOR They’re all the same strawberry shape. OLIVE But they’re different colours and sizes. Why is that? Make it a "berry fairy" ElinOR Hmm, maybe someone painted them different colours ? Like a fairy. THOUGHT BUBBLE shows a fairy painting strawberries. "Not sure we want this hypothesis to kick off the solution. Change this line to something like, ""Or maybe they're a different kind of strawberry and you can make white jam and green jam."" The girls giggle. In the description below, have Elinor pan across the drawings one after the other, and then double takes back as she notices the pattern." OLIVE Or maybe the little ones are cute little strawberry babies. THOUGHT BUBBLE: The strawberries all turn into babies and start crying, The harassed fairy tries to pick them all up and put them in a baby carriage. ELINOR Wait a minute -- that’s IT! Change to "Strawberry Fairies?" OLIVE Strawberry babies? THOUGHT BUBBLE BURSTS: Elinor is now looking at the drawings. ELINOR No, the size. Look. She switches the order of the first two drawings. Change "in this order" to "this way" ElINOR (CONT’D) If you put the drawings in this order, it looks like the strawberry is getting bigger. "Add a line below this one to show the kids came up with the idea: ELINOR: Maybe the green strawberries are like the baby strawberries. And as it grows, it changes color. OLIVE: I think you're right, Elinor! Then the mom arrives" OLIVE Like it’s growing! At this moment Ranger Rabbit appears with a basket in her hand. RaNGER RABBIT And what have we here? ELINOR Mom! We found strawberries! Add "them" at the end. OlIVE At least we THINK they’re all strawberries. I drew pictures so we could observe. ELINOR See? The small ones are green, middle-sized are white and big ones are RED! We think maybe the strawberries are changing colour as they grow. Ranger RABBIT That’s absolutely right, Elinor . Great scientific thinking! Fruits don't just appear on plants, they start small and grow. And these strawberries actually started out as flowers. Add a reply from Ranger Rabbit: "Yup" after this line. OlIVE Really? The white flowers are strawberries too? ElINOR That is sooo interesting. Remove the "But" and the "all" Olive But Ranger Rabbit, if these are all strawberries, can we use them all to make jam? It feels like Ranger Rabbit is leading them on too much, or not naturally? Change this line to "Good question, do you think they all taste the same?" RaNGER RABBIT Good question, maybe you scientists can figure this out. Change to "Hmm, I would think they do, because they are all strawberries, but I don't know." OLIVE How? Then Elinor has the idea. Change to: "Ooh, can we taste them? Can we mom?" ELINOR By tasting! Can we Mom? Add "first" to the end of the line. RANGER RABBIT You sure can, and I’m really glad you asked. Elinor picks up a green strawberry and feels it. ELINOR The green ones feel very hard, and they taste... (she tries to bite it but can’t) ...like not much! Olive draws a face emoji with a straight mouth under the green berry. Then she picks up a white berry. OLIVE The white ones are a little soft and... (she bites it) BOY are they sour! Olive makes a funny sour face. Then she hands the berry to Elinor who also takes a bite. Not sure little kids say expressions like this. Try "REALLY sour!" Elinor Are they EVER! Olive’s sour face is even funnier. The girls <SFX: GIGGLE>, then hand the berry to Mom. Thank you for this line. RANGER RABBIT Well, if I must, for science. Mom bites the berry, her Sour Face is hilarious! The girls <SFX: LAUGH LIKE MAD!> Olive makes a sour-face emoji under the white berry. Then Elinor picks up a red berry. ELINOR The red one is nice and soft. (sniffing) It REALLY smells like strawberries, and it tastes... (she bites) Mmmmmmmmm. She hands the berry to Olive who takes a bite too. OlIVE (mouth full) So yummy!! Olive draws a happy face emoji under the red berry. "Before this line, add a line for Elinor to show she's made the taste connection: ELINOR: Look, it's not just the size and color that changes as it grows. The taste changes too!"" Then change 87 to: RR: Wow, you scientists are on a roll. You're right, strawberries turn red and juicy and sweet as they grow. it's called getting ripe." RANGER RABBIT Wow, you scientists are on a roll. You figured out that strawberries turn red and juicy as they get ripe. OLIVE Mmm. Ripe. I like that word. Delete the part after the comma. RANGER RABBIT It IS a good word, can you guess what it means? ElINOR Ripe means sweet and ready to eat! RANGER RABBIT You got it! Now why don’t you girls pick a big basket of red strawberries and then we’ll make some jam for Dad ’s birthday. The girls cheer <SFX: YAY!!> and start collecting a big basket of luscious, ripe, red strawberries. CROSSFADE TO: 5 . EXT. CAMPSITE – DAY Mr. Rabbit is napping, now in a hammock <SFX: SNORE> as the girls enter with their basket full of strawberries and tip-toe over to the cooking area . <SFX: SHHH WALLA> Ranger Rabbit quickly washes the berries in a bucket of water and puts them in a bowl. OlIVE So what to we do first? ElINOR Well, jam is just squished berries, right? Ranger Rabbit hands the girls a bowl of berries and a potato masher. RaNGER RABBIT That’s the first step. Squish away, girls. Olive and Elinor both grab hold of the potato masher handle and <SFX: SQUISH, SQUISH> together. Elinor takes a taste. ELINOR Hmmm these squished strawberries are yummy, but they just don’t taste like jam. Olive tastes a little bit too, then Elinor takes the last finger-full of jam from the jar. Great kid line ElINOR (CONT’D) The jam from the jar is jammier. "Make this shorter and sweeter. Change second sentence to ""To make jam, you have to add some sugar and then cook it on the stove."" then delete the third and fourth sentences. Then add some lines for the girls after this line: OLIVE: Ooh. Ok, we'll be the squishers... RR: And I'll be the cook. Then in description below, change ""Ranger Rabbit cuts"" to ""Elinor takes off "" to make it more participatory for the girls." RANGER RABBIT That’s because it’s sweeter. You make real strawberry jam by adding in some sugar and then cooking it on the stove. Luckily we brought LOTS of sugar for Dad’s coffee. You girls be the squishers and sugar adders, and I’ll be the cooker! MONTAGE: Ranger Rabbit cuts the tops off the last few berries, puts them in a bowl and hands it to Olive and Elinor for squishing. Then the girls add the sugar and Ranger Rabbit cooks over the camps stove as they sing their song (NOTE: she can cook in a recycled can to match the lyrics) "Song is cute. A few notes: - I don't think we need to say you cook it in a can. A can is not necessary, and also it's not necessary for it to rhyme. Just say, ""cook them on a stove"" AABA rhyming is fine. - I feel like we need a second verse besides the chorus and the one verse. Can you try adding a verse, maybe something general about nature and growing and changing, and everything starts out small or something?" Elinor/olive BOTH: Strawberry jam, strawberry jam , We’re gonna make some strawberry jam , We’ll squish up the berries and cook them in a can , I really like J and D sugesstion about adding a line from the song. It is also good to get the learning take-away message in the song anf for this story the message maybe some flowers turn into fruits and the fruits take time to grow and ripen before they are yummy to eat. Dad’s gonna love our Strawberry Jam! OLIVE: Fruit starts out small and hard , Then i t grows and gets soft and sweet, ELINOR: When it’s nice and big and juicy , Th en it’s ripe and ready to eat. BOTH: Strawberry jam, strawberry jam, We’re gonna make some strawberry jam, We’ll squish up the berries and cook them in a can. Dad’s gonna love our Strawberry Jam! After the song, Ranger Rabbit lifts a spoon to her lips and blows to make sure it’s cool, then she tastes. RANGER RABBIT Mmmm, I think this is ready. What do you girls think? Elinor and Olive each take a taste. ELINOR Now THAT is yummy strawberry jam. Olive nods. Olive and Elinor slather it on the toast, then they sneak up on Dad once again. ELINOR/OLIVE HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY/MR.RABBIT!! Dad JUMPS out of his hammock, <SFX: WHOOOAAAA!!!>. (Or maybe it can spin around, cartoon-style). Elinor Look! OLIVE We made you some JAM! Dad recovers. MR. RABBIT What? You made this? Change "a wild" to "strawberries in a" (we haven't explained what wild means in this episode). ELINOR Uh-huh. Olive and I found a wild strawberry patch. OlIVE And then we squished up the berries, and cooked them into jam. ELINOR What do you think? Dad takes a big bite <SFX: CRUNCH> then... MR. RABBIT (mouth full) I think it’s the straw BERRY best jam ever! (swallowing) Get it? BERRY best jam ! Olive, Elinor and Ranger Rabbit all <SFX: LAUGH and GROAN> ELINOR Oh, Dad. Happy Birthday. She gives her Dad a big jammy birthday hug. MR. RABBIT BERRY best birthday ever! Elinor, Olive and Ranger Rabbit <SFX: LAUGH A LITTLE LAMELY> Maybe RR can add a kicker: "I think we've jammed enough words for today." RANGER RABBIT That’s enough, dear. IRIS OUT, THE END

EWW148 Strawberry Jam D2 30Sept19 .

<SFX <SFX: Ahhhh Buu-ut CONT’D CU: Hmmm Hmmmm> Mmm Mmmm Mmmmm Mmmmmmmmm Oooh Ooooh Oooooh!> POV: SHHH Wha Wha-oh emoji gonna goooood jammier riiight sooo squished strawBERRY strawber...oh think...only youoooo

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ELINOR WONDERS WHY EP 148 Strawberry Jam By Katherine Sandford Elinor’s Question: Where do strawberries come from? Logline: Elinor’s Dad’s perfect birthday camping breakfast is less-than-perfect when they run out of strawberry jam. Curriculum Goals; LS4 . Understand that all animals and plants have a life cycle, can reproduce, and change and grow over time: a. Observe the life cycle of familiar plants and animals b. Observe the growth in animals and plants c. Understand that living things grow and change over time. (Elinor and Olive observe the life cycle of the strawberry plant) SEP1 . Asking questions (science) and defining problems (engineering) a. Demonstrate curiosity about the greater world outside of their local environmentb . Ask more complex questions about observable phenomena (Elinor and Olive explore the strawberry field near their campground and ask questions about what they find.) SEP3 . Planning and carrying out investigations a. Identify and use a greater variety of tools to extend the senses for observing, measuring, and recording data about objects and events b. Compare and contrast objects and events by describing similarities and differences in detaild . With guidance, plan and conduct simple investigations using simple tools. e. Design and build a solution to a simple problem (engineering)(Elinor and Olive use the magnifying glass and notebook to examine the strawberries, then decide to make strawberry jam). SEP4 . Analyzing and interpreting data a. Collect, describe, and record observations in greater detail and in various ways b. Use the 5 senses and simple tools to gather and record data c. Record observations to describe patterns and/or relationships in the natural and designed world(s) in order to answer scientific questions and solve problems. (Elinor and Olive collect, observe, describe and record the various stages of strawberries.) MAINS: Elinor, Olive, Mr. Rabbit, Ranger Rabbit SETTINGS: Campsite, Cooking Area, Forest/Strawberry Field PROPS: Paper flower, birthday card, coffee cup, camping gear, strawberry blossoms, strawberries (green, white, red), magnifying glass, notebook and coloured crayons, bowl, potato masher, camp stove, can, toast. FIRST DRAFT: 04-Sept-19 SECOND DRAFT: 30-Sept-19 Mr. Rabbit ELINOR OLIVE RANGER RABBIT Elinor/olive Dad Eln (V.O.) (O.S.) (O.C.) (SUBTITLE) INT EXT I/E ELINOR WONDERS WHY ] CAMPSITE – DAY CAMPSITE – LATER STAWBERRY FIELD – DAY DAY NIGHT AFTERNOON MORNING EVENING LATER MOMENTS LATER CONTINUOUS THE NEXT DAY CUT TO: FADE IN: FADE OUT. FADE TO: DISSOLVE TO: BACK TO: MATCH CUT TO: JUMP CUT TO: FADE TO BLACK.