Great draft, thanks. Lots of fun moments. Mostly line tweaks below. 1. INT. ELINOR’S GRANDPARENTS’ LIVING ROOM - DAY "Line Count - 124 (cut 4 lines) Elinor P - 55 Bibi P - 45 Mr. Rabbit P - 8 Ranger Rabbit - 5 Bibi and Elinor sing the ditty in this episode." this is a delightful first draft. i actually dont have many notes for a first draft. the chemestry between bibi and elinor is realy fun and has lots of energy throughout. elinors dialogue is really nice and playful as well. I Agree...Very few notes on the first draft. Delightful BiBi (Elinor’s Grandma) is tending to a small cactus in a pot and is getting ready to go out to the back yard, when the <SFX: DOORBELL RINGS>. She opens the door and we see that Mr. Rabbit and Ranger Rabbit are here for a visit. Mr. Rabbit Did anyone order a rabbit family? BiBi Ahh, come here you! She grabs his cheeks and shakes them all about comically. BiBi (CONT’D) My favorite son! Mr. Rabbit recovers from the shaking. MR. RABBIT Your favorite? Uh, Mom, I’m your only son. Haha BiBi Well, it’s a good thing you’re my favorite then. (to Ranger Rabbit) Hello, Dear. RANGER RABBIT Hi, BiBi. BiBi gives Ranger Rabbit a kiss on the cheek then she realizes something: BiBi Where’s Elinor? Line's a little odd, try "I don't know. But guess WHOOO has a special surprise for you." Mr. Rabbit gives bibi a wink Elinor, I’m not sure. But I know someone WHOOO has a special surprise for you. Elinor jumps from behind Ranger Rabbit, dressed in her owl girl costume. Delete "It's me!" (otherwise Bibi's next line doesn’t make sense) ElINOR (calling out) Surprise! It’s me!! Whoo, whoooo! This line feels a little long. Delete the third and fifth sentence. Also replace "at my door" with "visit me" maybe instead of 'how are you' its 'and whats your name?' BiBi Oh, wow! An owl! (bends down to Elinor) What a special visit. I’ve never had an owl at my door before. Hello, Owl, how are you? Very charming ELINOR Elinor takes off her cowl to show BiBi it’s her. - suggest she leaves it on. with how its designed, the ears are cheated still sticking out the top, to have her fold it back and through the holes of her ears/ and the size if her head to how high she can reach will be a challenge BiBi! It’s me! Elinor! Elinor takes off her cowl to show BiBi it’s her. BiBi Elinor! I thought you were a real owl. ElINOR Fooled ya! Do you like my owl costume? I made it for costume day at school. Mom helped a little. Love this Mr. RABBIT Yes, and since then she’s been wearing it… a lot. ELINOR Every day! Owls are one of my favorite animals. BiBi Really? I love owls too. Nice : ) BiBi and elinor (in unison) They’re SOOOO interesting! perhaps its fine as is - however, we established that they dont come out here often since elinor said it had been since she was a baby that they visited in backyard soup episode. we also established visually that the train ride was an overnight trip - therefore they wouldnt come up to run errands in town. perhaps we combine the fact that baba is helping at the community center and they are visiting to help as well. Mr. RaBBIT (to Elinor) Well, we’re going to run some errands in town, honey bunny, and that means you’re going to stay with BiBi for the afternoon. ElINOR Awesome! But where’s Baba? BiBi Your grandpa is helping out at the community center today, so it’s just you and me, kiddo. Typo in "alll" ELINOR Yay! I can’t wait to tell you alll about owls, BiBi. I know everything there is to know about them! BiBi Everything? ELINOR Yep. Everything! BiBi Well, I wouldn’t be so sure of that, Elinor. Nature always seems to find a way to surprise you. Elinor thinks about this for a beat. Nice : ) ELINOR do the parents leave before the end of the seq? if so we need dialogue to support it. or they can still just inside the door as they havent had a chnace to say their goodbyes Hmmm… No, I’m pretty sure I know everything about owls. Watch me! She runs around the living room, hooting <SFX: HOOT, HOOT WALLA> On everyone’s <SFX: LAUGHTER> we CROSSFADE TO: 2. EXT. BACK YARD -- a little later Elinor is flying around the back yard (still in costume). <SFX: HOOT, HOOT, HOOT WALLA> BiBi putters near her potting shed (DESIGN NOTE: BiBi is now wearing her gardening apron, where she keeps a trowel). Elinor swoops in. ElINOR Whatcha doin’ BiBi? to understand visually, are these in 3 different pots? or planted in the ground and shes adding them to 3 pots ?it reads ‘repotting’ after line 33 - BiBi A little investigation. I’m trying to figure out which type of sand my cactuses like the best. ANGLE ON: Three small-ish Saguaro cactuses (this is the classic desert cactus with arms) https: // images.app.goo.gl / ZUhz15K37j6yUx5R7 Elinor Whoa, cool!! Well, I did a lot of investigating about owls with my Mom, and that’s how I know all about them. THOUGHT BUBBLE, we see what Elinor knows about owls: Change the "they are"'s to "they're"'s? ElINOR (CONT’D) Owls sleep all day, and they are only awake at night. They are super good at flying (whoosh!), and they live waaay up in the trees. I observed them myself! BiBi looks at her fondly. BiBi That’s wonderful, Owl Girl Elinor, but just remember, a good scientist knows there’s always more to find out, so keep asking questions. Elinor has heard this all before. Feels a little odd. Try, "And that means making lots and LOTS of OBSERVATIONS!" ELINOR should this be 'make' not 'making' ? And making lots and lots and LOTS of OBSERVATIONS! BiBi Exactly! Not sure we need this line. ELINOR I’m going to make some observations right now. Elinor continues to fly around <SFX: HOOT, HOOT WALLA> and starts looking around the yard while BiBi continues repotting her cactuses. After noticing some interesting things close by (a rock, a flower on a cactus, a beetle) <SFX: OOOH WALLA> Elinor looks out beyond the yard (there’s no fence) where she can see the wide-open desert. ELINOR (CONT’D) Wooooow! 3. EXT. DESERT -- DAY Elinor walks out (not too far) and enjoys the view of the beautiful desert. She sees a dune, a huge cactus, maybe a lizard who scurries off. Suddenly Elinor hears a little <SFX: RUSTLING> in the grass just beyond. EliNOR What’s that? She peers over to see...Two big yellow eyes! Feels a little short. Try, "Two eyes?" ELINOR (CONT’D) Eyes? The two yellow eyes reveal themselves to be a small bird that looks like an owl. https: // images.app.goo.gl / 2FtVzY9KbcV7WZXFA Cute :) ElINOR (CONT’D) (to herself) i would say this is a long read for our actor (which we need to be aware of) but its broken up throughout as she has different thoughts, stops and starts so it should be fine <GASP!> It’s an OWL! Hello, little owl! Look at me, I’m an owl too! Hoot! Hoot! The owl stares back. On "Why are you awake?" add "Why are you awake, little owl?" ElINOR (CONT’D) (realizing) Wait a minute... (checks the sky) It’s the middle of the day. (To the owl) Why are you awake? You’re supposed to be sleeping right now, so you can be awake at night. That’s what owls do! (Back to herself, puzzled) Why isn’t this owl sleeping? (determined) I need more observations! Elinor slowly approaches the owl, moving between shrubs. Suddenly, the owl takes off running. This line feels too self-aware. "An owl" suggests she already knows this is a different kind of owl. Change to "What? Now it's running on the ground. But owls are supposed to fly in the sky." ELINOR (CONT’D) What? An owl that runs on the ground? Now I’m really confused. Owls are supposed to fly in the sky. (thinking) Is that even an owl? CU: On Elinor’s confused look, we crossfade to. 4. EXT. BACK YARD -- DAY BiBi is tending to her cactuses when suddenly Elinor runs up. I'm a little hestiant about this coming from a preschoolers mouth. But you did a nice job supporting it so I think it might be oK. ELINOR BiBi! BiBi! I just saw an impossible animal! BiBi A what? ELINOR An animal that can’t be! It looks like an animal that I know, but it’s not doing the things that it’s supposed to do! BiBi is intrigued. BiBi An impossible animal? That is sooo interesting. Change to "I know. I don't understand." (she should say the word understand to connect to Bibi's next line) ELINOR I know, right? BiBi Well, you know what a scientist does when she sees something she doesn’t understand. Elinor thinks about it for a beat, then... Try, "Yes! She makes…" ("she gets" feels odd) ELINOR Should it be "she needs" so that kids at home can better predict what they will say next Yes! She gets… BiBi AND ELINOR (in unison) MORE OBSERVATIONS! ElINOR Come on, BiBi! BiBi and Elinor head out into the desert behind BiBi’s house to observe the mysterious animal. 5. EXT. DESERT -- DAY Elinor and BiBi find a good observation spot. ELINOR This is where I saw the impossible animal. BiBi Ok, let’s wait and watch. ELINOR We’d better hide, so we don’t scare it off. Description below this line: Very cute moment, nice. You could add an extra beat where only their ears rise up first first and the ears scan around before their faces come up. BiBi Good idea. BiBi and Elinor hide behind a small pile of rocks. A beat then they both (comically) rise up from behind the rocks together. They are in full recon mode. Elinor looks one way, BiBi looks the other, then they switch. Suddenly... ELINOR (whispering) There it is! Elinor points. ANGLE ON: the little owl. Delete second sentence (not needed) ELINOR (CONT’D) That’s the animal I saw earlier. It’s a bird. Change to, "It looks like an owl." BiBi How do you know? Change to, "It looks like an owl, but it can't be an owl." ELINOR It has wings, feathers and a beak and it looks like an owl, but it can’t be. BIBI Why not? Add a second sentence to this line: "I also saw it run on the ground, but owls are supposed to fly." ELINOR Because this bird is awake during the day and owls are only awake at NIGHT. At this point, BiBi realizes what’s going on. BiBi Ooooh, I see. The little owl hops over closer to them, and they have a moment together to admire it. Not sure Elinor would stop her curiosity to comment on the cuteness. Change this line to, "It's coming closer." ELINOR Awww. It’s so cute. Change this line to, "Aww, it's pretty cute." BiBi It sure is. At that moment the owl runs off! Change to, "Bibi look! It's running away! Let's follow it so we can keep observing it." ELINOR i like how over the top she is here. maybe after 'running away' she says excitedly 'hows the POSSIBLE!?' then continue line BiBi look! The owl is RUNNING AWAY! Let’s follow it and keep observing. CUTE ACTION SEQUENCE: Elinor and BiBi keep a respectful (and humorous) distance, hiding as they go. They follow the little owl (which can run surprisingly fast) across the desert. ANGLE ON: The little bird ducks into its burrowing hole. Elinor stops and points. Change "ducked" to "went". Add a third sentence, "Do you think that's where it lives?" ELINOR (CONT’D) (amazed) BiBi! The little bird ducked into that hole in the ground. Lines 64-66: Let's condense these lines into one line for Bibi: "Sure looks like it. Holes in the ground like that are called burrows." BiBi Really? (looking closer) Oh, I see. That’s a special little hole called a burrow. ELINOR A burrow. Does it live in there? BiBi What do you think? ANGLE ON: The little owl pokes its head out, then retreats. "Change the first sentence to ""Wow."" Love this. Shows elinor's confidence in the importance of observation." ELINOR Sure looks like it. (making up her mind) Then it’s definitely not an owl, because owls live in trees. I OBSERVED them. The owl comes out and starts puttering around the burrow. Elinor observes it and starts to have second thoughts. ELINOR (CONT’D) (unsure) Only...it really does look like an owl. It’s got big eyes, and a beak, and feathers… BiBi That’s true. ELINOR But how can it be an owl if it’s awake in the day, and runs on the ground, and lives in a hole? BiBi That’s a really good question Elinor. Typo in the parenthesis on the description below this line. ELINOR (confused) I just don’t get it. Peak confusion for Elinor. BiBi thinks about how to help. Suddenly, she spots an odd-looking little cactus to the side of them.(maybe a Buckthorn Cholla https: // cals.arizona.edu / yuma / plant_index / cylindropuntia_acanthocarpa%20.htm Or something else cool - here are other options: https: // www.foldingguides.com /product/ cacti-of-the-desert-southwest-poster-cardset-of-6-greeting-cards / I think we can make this more subtle. Change to, "Oh, look. Just what I was looking for." BiBi Elinor, look over there... BiBi points to the unusual cactus and makes a show of finding it. Change "collection" to "investigation" BiBi (CONT’D) I found another cactus for my collection. Isn’t it a beauty? BiBi uses her spade to dig it out and show it to Elinor. ELINOR Uhhhm, are you sure that’s a cactus, BiBi? It doesn’t look anything like your other cactuses. BiBi Good observation! But this IS a cactus. CU: on the cactus plant, BiBi compares it to a nearby example of the Saguaro cactus. Can you insert this between the first and second sentence? "Some of them look different or do different things." BiBi (CONT’D) There are many different kinds of cactuses, and they are not all the same. That happens a lot in Nature. A realization dawns on Elinor. Agree with Kevin that it feels a little quick. But not sure we want more dialogue, as it's not a perfect analogy between the cactuses and the owls, and we'll get lost in the weeds. Try drawing it out non-verbally. On the description above this line, draw it out a bit. "Elinor appreciates what Bibi just said. She looks back and forth between the owl and the cactuses. After a beat, a realization starts to dawn on Elinor." or something like that. ELINOR Oooooh. She looks back at the owl. Add "animal" and "just": "Hmm… Maybe this animal IS an owl, but it's just a different kind of owl." ELINOR (CONT’D) elinor seems to learn what bibi just told her and apply it to the owl too quickly. can bibi guide her a bit more here. maybe 'so, if cactus and plants can be different, maybe thats the same for animals' Hmmm… Maybe this IS an owl, but it’s a different kind of owl. CU: On the cute little bird. Delete "is the" and "that" ELINOR (CONT’D) Maybe this is the kind of owl that doesn’t sleep all day, or fly up high or live in trees. BiBi Hmmmm. Now THAT is an interesting idea. BiBi puts her cactus in her gardening apron. Delete "just" ELINOR maybe take the word "just" out What do you think, BiBi? Is it just a different kind of owl? This is just a thought...I feel like Elinor might wish Olive was around with her Nature Book to help them learn more....maybe BIBI has a "local animal field guide" that they could look in together... BiBi As a matter fact, it is. Good thinking, little scientist. There ARE different kinds of owls, just like there are different kinds of cactuses. This one here is called a burrowing owl. The recap is not needed here. Change this line to, "Oh, don't tell me! It's because they live in burrows." ELINOR Oh, don’t tell me! Burrowing Owls live in the desert, stay awake during the day, and live in little holes in the ground called BURROWS. Change this line to, "That's right. Burrowing Owls live in the desert and stay awake during the day. And guess what else? They don't make the holes they live in. They use holes that other animals don't need anymore." BiBi That’s right, and guess what else. Burrowing Owls don’t make the holes they live in. They borrow unused holes from digging animals - like tortoises. ELINOR Awww, what a smart little owl. CU: On the owl, it does look smart. ELINOR (CONT’D) I thought I knew everything there was to know about owls, but I guess I didn’t. Nice. BiBi Nature is full of surprises, Elinor. There’s always more to learn. At that moment, as they look at the owl, they observe it laying small rocks and bits of (natural) desert debris out in front of its burrow. ELINOR What’s it doing now? BiBi I don’t know. I’ve never seen a burrowing owl do that. I wonder why. ELINOR Maybe it’s decorating its front door. BiBi Maybe. Or maybe that’s its rock collection. Lines 93-94: Think we can delete these lines and replace with a <SFX: GIGGLE> of giddy exploration excitement. ELINOR But there’s sticks too. BiBi Right. ANGLE ON: The owl puts the desert debris in a little semi-circle around its hole. Change to, "It looks like it's making a little fence." ELINOR Looks like its making a little fence or something. A sand tortoise walks by, then pauses and keeps going. Feel like we need to spell things out for the audience a little more. Try splitting the moment up and make it two steps: Elinor comments on what happened, then a beat as she realizes why the owl put the fence. "Look! That turtle was going to walk into the hole, but it got turned away by the sticks and rocks." Then after a beat: "Maybe the owl put them there to keep other animals out." ELINOR (CONT’D) Maybe the owl put up that little fence to tell everyone to keep out. BiBi I think you’re right Elinor. That’s amazing. I didn’t know burrowing owls did that. ElINOR You didn’t? Really? I guess there IS always more to learn. Even for my BiBi! SONG – Elinor and BiBi sing together. "Nice song. The verse after the chorus feels odd, like it's not clear and doesn't fit the story. Try this: I thought there was only one kind of owl. That sleeps all day and flies about. So keep your mind open, and look all around. You might find an owl that runs on the ground. (it rhymes more if you use the US pronunciation of ""about"") :)" Elinor and BiBi ALL: Nature is full of surprises, The closer you look, The more you will see, They come in all shapes and sizes Nature is FULL of surprises. BIBI: The same kind of bird might not look the same ELINOR: They have different likes, and a different name. BIBI: So keep your mind open, and look all around, ELINOR: You might find an owl that runs on the ground. ALL: Nature is full of surprises, The closer you look, The more you will see, They come in all shapes and sizes Nature is FULL of surprises. We CROSS FADE: 6. INT. Living room - later We only see BiBi (and a pile of couch cushions) as the <SFX: DOORBELL RINGS> again. BiBi opens the door. Mr. RABBIT We’re back! BiBi Aww, my favourite rabbit family. They exchange kisses. The dad doesn't know they did science. Change "scientists" to "and Elinor" and delete "making observations" RANGER RABBIT This might need to be set up more...that Ranger Rabbit would know to ask this. So, did you scientists have fun making observations today? You can add it here: "Of course! We made lots of observations. It was all sooo interesting." BiBi Of course! It was all sooo interesting. This feels too self referential. Delete this line? MR. RABBIT Life is always interesting with Owl Girl Elinor. Change "she" to "Elinor" RANGER RABBIT Where is she anyway? BiBi Oh, I’m not sure. She was around here some... Suddenly, Elinor comes out of a burrow she had made from the couch cushions. ELINOR Surprise! After <SFX: LAUGHTER> Elinor gestures to the mound of pillows. ELINOR (CONT’D) Whooo-whoo . Do you like my burrow? MR. RABBIT Your burrow? I didn’t know Owls had burrows. This line feels odd. Change to, "Neither did I. But then Bibi and I met a special kind of owl. It's awake during the day, runs on the ground, and lives in a burrow!" ELINOR Neither did I until BiBi and I met a Burrowing Owl. It’s awake during the day, runs along the ground instead of flying, and lives in a burrow! Change to "Really!" MR. RABBIT You’re kidding. Change to "It's amazing, isn't it? Nature is full of surprises" (to repeat the line from the song) ELINOR Nope. Amazing, right? (to herself) Nature sure can surprise you. Let's not have them leave (they should stay longer to visit?). Change this line to, "Well, I'm glad you had fun, Owl Girl Elinor." RANGER RABBIT as mentioned above. we established in 'owl girl' thats they live very far away, so they wouldnt have dropped in for the afternoon. can we rework this so they dont discuss leaving and heading back? Well, come on Owl Girl Elinor. It’s time to go. ELINOR That’s Burrowing Owl Girl Elinor, Mom. And you know what that means... Instead of out the door, just have her run around the living room. RaNGER RABBIT What? Elinor takes off running out the door. No more notes after this line. Great job. Thanks! ElINOR You can’t catch meeeee! We end in <SFX: LAUGHTER>. FADE OUT, THE END

EWW145 "Burrowing Owl Girl D1 21-Aug-19 .

<SFX: Ahh BiBi CONT’D WHOOO Whoo whoooo

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ELINOR WONDERS WHY EP 145 Burrowing Owl Girl By Katherine Sandford Elinor’s Question: What kind of owl is awake in the daytime and lives on the ground? Logline: Elinor thinks she knows everything there is to know about owls until, while visiting her grandparents, she meets a Burrowing Owl. Curriculum Goals:LS6 . Understand that individuals of the same kind of plant or animal are recognizable as similar but can also vary in many ways: a. Contrast individuals of the same kinds of plant and animal (Elinor compares and contrasts what she knows about Owls with what she observes about Burrowing Owls). SEP3 . Planning and carrying out investigations a. Identify and use a greater variety of tools to extend the senses for observing, measuring, and recording data about objects and events b. Compare and contrast objects and events by describing similarities and differences in detail (Elinor and her grandmother plan and execute an investigation into Burrowing Owls). SEP4 . Analyzing and interpreting data a. Collect, describe, and record observations in greater detail and in various ways b. Use the 5 senses and simple tools to gather and record data d. Talk about and reflect on what happened during an investigation or when solving a problem, and why it might have happened. (Elinor and her grandmother collect data about the Burrowing Owl through sight and sound and, with research and discussion, decide if it is an Owl). MAIN CHARACTERS: Elinor, BiBi, Mr. Rabbit SECONDARY: Ranger Rabbit SETTING: Grandparents' Living Room, Back Yard, Desert. PROPS: Owl Girl Costume, small Saguaro cactuses, gardening apron, trowel, lizard (maybe), Burrowing Owl, burrow, Sand Tortoise, rocks and sticks. OUTLINE – July 18, 2019 FIRST DRAFT: August 21, 2019 BIBI ELINOR RANGER RABBIT MR. RABBIT Bibi and elinor (V.O.) (O.S.) (O.C.) (SUBTITLE) INT EXT I/E ELINOR WONDERS WHY BIBI AND BABA'S (ELINOR'S GRANDPARENTS) LIVING ROOM BACK YARD -- DAY DESERT -- DAY BEDROOM – EVENING IRIS OUT DAY NIGHT AFTERNOON MORNING EVENING LATER MOMENTS LATER CONTINUOUS THE NEXT DAY CUT TO: FADE IN: FADE OUT. FADE TO: DISSOLVE TO: BACK TO: MATCH CUT TO: JUMP CUT TO: FADE TO BLACK.