Great, nice job. Just a few line tweaks from us. Didn't get a chance to say this in the V1, but nice job overall, and we like all the cute moments. The kids realizing that rain and water are special inside the house is a nice touch. And the singing in the rain scene will be a classic. Thanks! EXT. ari's house - DAY "Elinor 40 Olive 39 Ari 33 Mrs Bat 4 Total Line Count 116" cute episode - some notes below I really love this script. I'm wondering if the set up of the characters realizing it is dry...they start by saying "another sunny day in Animal town" "everyone loves sunny days" and they notice (instead of wonder) the forest looks different...like the rock that was once almost underwater isn't anymore, and the plants that are now wilting, the snails are moving slow. They can notice these things as they walk toward the spot for cloud viewing pretty quickly and then revisit them after it starts to rain. "Very nice draft and a fun and relevant story for kids. (My son has been upset by all the rain here in DC as of late, so I once again look forward to having this episode as a tool to explain the rain's importance!) We have a couple of overall comments: - Elinor's question: It seems to us like the question posed in the logline (What is rain good for, anyway?) and the way it's positioned in the story (Why does it have to rain?) are slightly different. ""Why does it have to rain?"" makes us think of the water cycle. In the song, we have yet another variation -- why do we need the rain? -- which also doesn't feel exactly right because the episode is all about how rain benefits nature, without explicitly connecting back to how it benefits our characters (the ""we"" in ""why do we need rain""). We know that all of these questions are connected, but we think it would best serve the story if the question were consistent throughout. Our best suggestion, which we're open to discussing, is ""Who needs the rain?"" This could serve as both Olive's complaint in line 45 as well as Elinor's driving question. Who DOES need the rain? The fish, the frogs, the snails, the plants. It might also be nice, if possible, to work in a reminder that we, people, need rain too. - Opening setup: Like Sara, we struggled a little bit with the opening scenes of the story. There's a lot going on: the kids are going cloud-watching! But wait, now they're talking to a frog; now they're talking about the rock as a way to gauge water levels; now they're onto fish; things that are dry, like droopy plants; and snails. We know what this is ultimately in service of, but for a viewer coming at this fresh, we think this will feel disconnected and unrelated to the central idea you set up: that the kids are going cloudwatching. Also, it will be hard to understand how all of these observations are related to one another, in general. It also struck us as a very talky section that often gets a bit complex or technical (I personally got lost around lines 13-16 when they started discussing how much of the rock they can see vs. how much was underwater before). We support Sara's note about keeping this focused on noticing that it's a sunny, dry day in Animal Town, and keeping things relatively short. Maybe we don't need three animal examples (frog, fish, snails), for instance. Let's simplify where possible." It's a nice, partly cloudy day in Animal Town. We OPEN ON ELINOR, OLIVE and ARI walking through the forest toward the park. Olive is leading the pack, carrying her satchel. OLIVE What a great idea to go cloud-watching today. Ari (chuckling) It was your idea, Olive. Change "sky" to "clouds" OLIVE (giggling) Oh yeah - I knew I liked it. I really want to draw the pretty sky with my new pencils. Olive pats her satchel ( ALT: opens it to show the pencils and notebook). As the kids walk past a small pond, Elinor looks up at the sky, trying to peer through the foliage. ON THE SKY - lots of puffy clouds, a few darker ones. ElinoR Oo o h , I hope we find some interesting cloud shapes up there -- whooop ! ON ARI - he gently stops Elinor by holding her arm. I think a natural reaction would be to shout out ‘watch it’ as he grabs her arm, stopping her from falling in - before he says the rest of his line Ari Can Elinor discover the pond another way, rather than almost falling in? We'd rather not suggest that being curious and thinking about things as you walk is potentially a dangerous thing to do! Maybe you'd better look down here first, Elinor. You almost stepped in the pond. WIDEN: Elinor steps away from the edge of the pond. Elinor (laughs) Oops - thanks, Ari. Olive points at something in the pond. Olive Hey, there's the frog we always see - on his favorite rock. Hi Froggy! ON THE POND - a frog <SFX: RIBBITS> from the top of a rock that's sticking up out of the pond. We weren't sure why Ari "corrects" Olive here (suggesting he only speaks frog) if the frog ribbits between lines 7 and 8. He reacted, so what else would they expect to happen? Ari Uh, Olive, maybe he only speaks frog. Let me try: Ribbit ! Ribbit ! The frog doesn't react. haha cute ARI (CONT'D) Wait, was I speaking toad or frog? The kids <SFX: GIGGLE> at his silliness. Elinor looks at the frog and the rock, and gets curious. Since this is not the guiding question I would have Elinor just Notice the rocks difference. Modeling the workds "I notice" over and over is great for this age group. She might say "i notice the pond has less water" and Ari could say "how do you know" and thenshe can point out the wet marks. ElinOR Hmmmm. Does Froggy's rock look different today ? Ari and Olive go closer to look at the pond. Ari What do you mean, Elinor? Elinor points to the frog on the rock . EliNOR Well, we usually only see the top part of Froggy's rock when he's sitting on it. The kids share a thought bubble that shows the same scene but with the rock more covered in water. Ari Oh yeah, now we can see almost the whole rock. ElinoR So, either that rock got bigger, or... it reads that they look over to the rock but they would have been looking at it and froggy during this conversation - we would visually cut in tighter to make sure the dark area of the rock is made clear to the audience Olive The water got lower! See that darker part of the rock? They all look over at the rock. Ari I see it now! That must be the part we couldn't see when it was under the water . ON THE POND - there's a darker waterline on the rock. But why would that happen? is a bit stilted. Maybe: "Why is that?" or just "I wonder why" ELINOR perhaps she doesnt say 'maybe' - they wouldnt think the rock got bigger - unless we want them to express being completely open to options they have not explored yet So maybe the water in the pond is lower! But why would that happen? Ari Yeah, d on't the fish need water to swim in ? The fish look like they're not swimming too fast today. THEIR POV - the fish aren't moving much. olive Do you think Froggy drank it? Maybe he got thirsty being out in the sun all day. i'm curilus as to how they made the leap of 'dry' - they're thinking maybe froggy got thirsty and then that maybe everyone in the pond is thirsty - but what would make her use the term 'dry' Elinor Can we cut "let's think"? It doesn't feel very kid-like. Maybe the whole pond got thirsty, and dry? Let's think - i s anything else looking dry around here? They walk around, and stop at some dried-out looking plants. ari These plants are looking a little droopy. Olive And their leaves are turning brown. Just then, the kids stop as they spot the two snails, NORMA and LULU, at the edge of the path. ARI Hang on - Norma and Lulu are crossing. The kids stop and watch for a beat, but the snails don't seem to move. elinOR Wait - are they crossing? They lean closer, but the snails are moving but just BARELY. Is this accurate snail behavior -- that they move more slowly when it's dry? olive I know snails are slow, but this is really slow. Feels a bit forced. Just make this line a "Hmmm..." from Elinor. ELINOR After quite a lot of discussion and deep observation, it seems random for Elinor to suddenly suggest that they move along. There's no mention of needing to get to cloud-watching between lines 5 and 26, and suddenly she remembers? It's probably ok for us to keep going - see you later Norma and Lulu . EXT. PARK - MOMENTS LATER Olive finds a spot in the grass and sits in the middle of an open area, making room for the others. they seem to have abandoned what elinor said in line 20 - to look around here for whats dry - they see some brown leaves and snails - and the snails arent a reflection of being 'dry'. As my note in line 20 - suggest that line needs to be tweaked to clarify ‘dry’ and to not be about setting out a plan on what to explore is they arent going to continue. Or we add one more ‘dry’ comment something else but also come up to the perfect spot to stop and draw the clouds. Olive the ground is nice and dry here for us to sit and watch the clouds... This looks like the perfect spot to watch and draw some clouds. She takes out her pencil and opens her notebook as they all lie on the ground, looking up at the clouds. ELINOR So many pretty clouds. What shapes do you see? The others look up to the sky with her. i sugges we change ari's dialogue - theyve been pointing out its the perfect spot to draw the clouds - and how pretty they are. he should call out that he sees one. suggest 'oh theres one!...it’s...cloud shaped? Ari 29-30: Is it keeping in Ari's character that's so literal about this? Also, Elinor's response strikes us as a bit patronizing. (Silly... you have to use your imagination, Ari.) Oooh , I see a cloud! That one is... cloud shaped? ElINOR (giggles) Silly... you have to use your imagination, Ari. See, I think that one looks like a fish! As the cloud moves, it seems to resemble more a fish. Olive Ooh ! A fish cloud! Olive happily draws it in her notebook. Ari And, that one looks like... a piece of pie! Or maybe I'm just hungry. Olive points to another cloud. olive That one looks like a butterfly. I'm going to draw it. She starts to sketch in her notebook. Up in the sky, the clouds seem to darken and come together. Elinor turns to Ari: Elinor What does that one look like to you, Ari? It's soo big and dark. Ari squints, turns his head this way and that. Ari (at a loss) I dunno. I guess it looks like... like... <Plink!> A drop falls on his forehead. Ari (CONT'D) Rain! Elinor and Olive react, surprised. Olive Rain? Elinor studies the clouds, still looking at their shapes. Delete "a" ElinOR I don't see any thing shaped like a rain-- <Plink! Plink!> A drop lands on each of their foreheads and rolls down their faces. funny EliNOR (CONT'D) Ok , I see it now. More drops fall here and there, sporadically at first. Olive (disappointed) Oh, no! It's raining. Olive snatches up her notebook and pencil and puts them in her satchel. ArI So much for going cloud watching. Elinor points up to the sky, where a fine drizzle has begun. This is an important line. I'd love to see if supported by more discription....can't see the sky at all anymore....the cloud shapes have lumped together and now they are covering the whole sky. ELINOR Yeah, the clouds all mushed into one big gray lump! due to our design - the characters heads being very large - she cannot lift her hands above her head to hold the satchel to cover herself olive (covering herself with her satchel) We'd better go inside somewhere. Ari I know! Let's go to my house. Follow me! They start jogging back through the park. Ext. Park - momentS LATER Olive tries to protect her satchel as they jog. The kids stop momentarily under a tree for shelter. olIVE Awww. I really wanted to watch clouds today. And now we're getting all wet. I wish it didn't have to rain ever. Elinor looks curious. Since Olvie doesn't ask a question maybe Elinor says "That's interesting Olive...why does it have to rain?" I don't think you need to ask if it is good for something. The character will discover this. ElinOR We like Sara's suggestion for how to frame the statement -- as scripted, it doesn't feel especially kid-like Hmm, that's a ctually a good question, Olive . Why does it have to rain? Is the rain good for something? Ari looks at his wet clothes, smiling. Ari- It rains to get us wet Ari It's good for getting us wet! maybe "let's figure out what the rain does?" ELINOR Can we cut the gasp? I wonder... (gets an idea) Gasp! Let's figure out what rain is good for. We need MORE observations! OLIVE Observations? Now? In the rain? ELINOR Why not? The best time to observe rain is... when it's raining! OLIVE I guess that make sense. I just don't like the "getting wet" part. Elinor and Ari step out and look up as the rain falls (still gentle), as Olive stays under the tree. maybe gentle instead of soft??? ari But Olive, this rain is warm and soft - it's like a giant outdoor shower! Ari spreads out his arms to enjoy the rain coming down. elinoR Or a water fountain from the sky! Elinor tilts her head back to drink. Meanwhile Olive calls from under her shelter. olive (calling) Uhh, maybe we should go inside where it ISN'T raining? Ari runs through frame enjoying himself ala "Singing in the Rain!" ARI Haha , this is AWESOME! Did they esablish that they would do this already? Maybe just the first line or take out the word "maybe" ELINOR "Follow the rain and see what it does" feels a little complicated. Follow the rain where? And this feels like it assumes that they know the rain does something, when in fact that's what they're trying to figure out. Anne suggests switching it up to "Don't you want to figure out [the central question]?" Olive, don't you want to figure out why it rains? Maybe we can follow the rain and see what it does. OlIVE Wellll... ElinOR We'll be rain detectives. Come on!! Elinor and Ari start dancing in the rain. olive (to herself) I guess that does look like fun. Olive comes out from under the tree and joins them. A beat as they run around, dancing in the rain. <SFX: HAPPY WHOO-HOO RAIN DANCE WALLA>> Elinor twirls, face uplifted to the rain. Do we want Elinor to conclude this once she sees it has benefits? ElINOR Rain, Rain NEVER GO AWAY!!! Olive looks at the flowers nearby that are perking up. 61-65- I'm not sure this is needed...I think retracing their steps and noticing differences in the things they noticed were dry would support the learning the best. I worry the observation of the flowers "drinking" would be impossible. Kids might see flowers perking up but they can't see them drinking. If you want to leave in that rain is good for flowers then maybe have them notice the flowers are droppy or closed up earlier in the script and then they can observe then standing up or openning up. Olive Agree with Sara. RE line 61, it's unclear if these are the same flowers they observed earlier. Plus, not sure we need to make a connection between the flowers opening up and the kids opening their arms -- the kids opening their arms is circumstantial and not for the same reasons as the flowers. Hey, look - the se flowers over here are opening up in the rain, just like we opened our arms to dance in the rain! The kids stop dancing and observe. Elinor Maybe they were thirsty? Again, agree with Sara's note about 61-65. Here, it's not exactly true that flowers drink the water "just like we were" -- flowers drink water differently. Ari They're drinking water that falls from the sky, just like we were. OlIVE Oooh, I'll bet the flowers love that. ElinOR Let's see what else loves the rain! Ext. Park - fishpond - momeNTS LATER As Elinor, Ari and Olive walk along, they get to the pond. Ari Oh, hi, Froggy . How do you like the rain? I mean, ribbit ribbit ! ON THE POND - the frog is still sitting on the rock, which has a few raindrops splatters on it ( <SFX: RIBBIT> ). Olive spots the water level on the rock. Olive Look! We can't see as much of the rock. Maybe the water in the pond is getting higher. elinor It's the rain! The rain is filling up the pond. Ari Whoa... no wonder Froggy looks so happy - he has more pond to swim in! And look at the fis h - they're swimming around a lot more. ANGLE ON: happy fish swimming in the pond. OLIVE Do you think the fish know it's raining? A happy fish JUMPS out of the pond and lands with a <SPLASH> Maybe helps the train of thought to say, "...but they must be happy to have fresh water in their pond from the rain." ELINOR I dunno, but they must be happy to have fresh water in their pond. Olive, Ari and Elinor continue on their way. Olive steps out into the path, near a puddle. ElinOR (CONT'D) Olive, watch out! Olive looks - Elinor is pointing to Norma and Lulu, who are now (slowly) crossing the pathway. the kids are back tracking - therefore they would get to the snails first before froggy and the rock. - as they saw the snails after froggy earlier in the epsiode. suggest swapping them OLIVE <- agree Norma and Lulu are crossing the path again. ELINOR They're sure going a lot faster this time. ari (speculating) Maybe rain helps snails move faster? The kids crouch down to get a closer look. [NOTE: if kids aren't supposed to touch sn a ils, they can just observe the slime trail on the ground]. Elinor puts a hand out on the ground . T he snails scoot over her hand, and down the path. ElinoR (giggles) That tickles! Look at their shiny slime trails. She shows Ari and Olive her hand before wiping it on a leaf. This is fascinating! We did not know this. Ari Ohhh ... I bet it's easier for the snails to move when their bellies are wet. ELINOR So the rain makes things better for snails, too. Delete the second sentence (it's a leftover from the previous version). Olive And it makes Norma and Lulu all shiny! I'm going to draw their slime trails in my notebook! Elinor stands up and takes in the world under the soft rain. Here I think they should figure out rain is good for many things...such as.. ELINOR This is the key takeaway, so it would be good for it to match the question. "We figured out who likes the rain!" I think we figured out what rain is good for. It's good for a lot of things! Olive stands up, too, and agrees. Olive Yeah, the rain makes everybody happy. It gives the flowers water to drink, it fills the ponds for the frogs and the fish to live in... Ari And it even helps snails! Elinor We solved the mystery, rain detectives! On their positive energy, the kids start singing a song. They run and dance around in the rain, looking at the ways that rain helps plants and animals. elinor/OLIVE/ARI (chorus) Why do we need the rain, to fall down from the sky? Why do we need the rain, Why can't it just stay dry? OLIVE: Rain makes the grass turn green, It waters every tree, ARI: Rain helps the flowers bloom, for all the birds and bees. ARI: Frogs and slugs and snails, Move better when they're wet, ALL: Fish need water in their pond, Let's not forget. ALL: Why do we need the rain? To fall down from the sky? Why do we need the rain? Now we know whyyyyy ! They come out of the song <SFX: GIGGLING> and in the soft drizzle, Olive gets inspired. Shoudl she say 'draw' or write? OliVE That was so much fun. I'm going to write what we learned in my notebook. She gets the notebook out, but it's dripping wet. Olive (CONT'D) Oh, no, my notebook is all wet! How am I going to write in it? Ari gets an idea. Ari I bet my mom can help you. Come on! Int. Ari's house - day - a short time later A short transition later, we open on a close shot of Olive's notebook, its pages fluttering. We pull out to reveal a small fan blowing air on it, drying its pages, and MRS. BAT standing nearby. Elinor and Olive are drying off with towels . From this point on, it feels like we've resolved the "mystery" of the story, so what's left for kids to be engaged? Lines 102 on felt particularly sluggish. Mrs. Bat Your notebook will be dry in no time, Olive. Olive Wow, thanks, Mrs. Bat! MRS. BAT No worries. Rain is wet, you can't avoid it. The good thing is, you can always get dry. As the kids dry off, Elinor turns to Mrs. Bat . ELINOR All this rain talk is making me thirsty. May we have water to drink , please, Mrs. Bat? Mrs. Bat Sure Elinor, I'll be right back. As Mrs. Bat goes off to get water , Elinor has a thought. We like this analogy. Elinor I just thought of something - when we want water, we can just get it from the kitchen. But when plants, or ponds or snails need water, they have to wait for rain! it reads that she returns with 'another' glass of water - yet this is elinor's first. OlIVE we should clarify: that makes rain EXTRA important for all the plants and animals that need it. Huh, that makes rain EXTRA special for all the plants and animals that need it. Mrs. Bat returns with another glass of water for her, and some rain gear for the kids. Mrs. Bat Here's some water, and also some ponchos and umbrellas to keep you all dry if you go back outside. OlivE Thanks, Mrs. Bat. Now that I know why we need the rain, it's so much fun to play in it. At that moment, Ari comes in, already wearing his rain gear. Ari Ok , who's ready to go back and play in the rain some more? Without waiting for an answer, Ari raises his hand. ARI (CONT'D) Ooh , me! Me! Elinor and Olive <SFX: GIGGLE> and grab their rain hats. ElinOR I'm ready! Olive Me too! A crossfade later, the kids are standing at the doorway, all wearing their rain gear. Ari Let's go play in the rain! As Ari opens the front door, they look outside and... GASP. Int/EXT. ARI'S HOUSE - DAY - CONTINUOUS THEIR POV looking out the door - a brilliant sun is shining through the tail end of the rain. ari Sunshine?!! EXT. ARI'S HOUSE - DAY - CONTINUOUS They walk outside, still in disbelief. Elinor Where'd all the rain go? Ari Just when we got all raincoated and rainbooted, there's no more rain . OLIVE Awww . As the kids keep walking through the forest near Ari's house , Elinor looks around. ElinoR Hmm, it stopped raining, but we can still be rain detectives. Look, things are different when they're wet with rain. CU on - the flowers and grass glistening in sunshine. Olive You're right - the grass is greener and shinier. The kids look down at the grass. Olive points to a spiderweb. Olive (CONT'D) And that spiderweb is sparkly - the raindrops must be sticking to it. ElinoR Everything looks clean and washed. (she sniffs) The air even smells fresher. Olive Wow, the rain gives us soo much - Whoops! SPLASH! Elinor and Olive get splashed with some big drops. They look over to see Ari, laughingly apologetically. Ari Sorry, I couldn't resist. ELINOR (laughing) That's okay, Ari. OlIVE I think you found the BEST thing rain gives us. Olive and Elinor look at each other, smile, then JUMP... love the puddle splashing ending OLIVE (CONT'D) PUDDLES!!!!! As the kids laugh and play in the puddle, <SFX: LAUGHING AND PUDDLE JUMPING WALLA> we iris out: The end

EWW136 Rain Rain Don't Go Away D2 July 17, 2019 .

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ELINOR Wonders Why EWW136 Rain, Rain Don't Go Away By: Rachel Lipman Elinor's Question: What is rain good for, anyway? Logline: Disappointed that the rain has ruined their cloud gazing, the kids investigate where the rain goes to understand why it rains. Curriculum Goals: ES 1 Earth Science Core Ideas ES1 . Understand that the Earth is made up of a variety of natural materials. a. Explore and describe the characteristics of earth materials such as sand, rocks, soil, water, and air. (Elinor and her friends observe the rain (water). SEP1 . Asking questions (science) and defining problems (engineering) b. Ask more complex questions about observable phenomena c. Ask and/or identify cause and effect questions that can be answered by an investigation. (Elinor and her friends try to answer the question, "Why does it have to rain?") SEP6 . Constructing explanations (science) and Designing Solutions (engineering) a. Use background knowledge experiences, and data to construct reasonable explanations and theories of natural phenomena (science) b. Look for and describe patterns and relationships in natural phenomena (science) c. Use and apply productive science discourse to support an explanation d. Use evidence to support a theory or solution to a problem (engineering) (Elinor and her friends observe the effects of the rain on the world around them and come up with explanations of why it is necessary). Main Characters: Elinor, Olive, Ari Secondary: Mrs. BAt Locations: The Park, the Pond, The Bat' House Props: Olive's notebook, Olive's satchel, Frog, Snails (Norma and Lulu ) Glass of Water, Fan, Rain ponchos, umbrellas, rain boots OUTLINE: May 29, 2019 FIRST DRAFT: June 27, 2018 SECOND DRAFT: July 17, 2019 Ari Art Chorus elinor Elinor/hazel ELINOR/HAZEL/ARI ElinoR/olive/ari Hazel Mr. Dog Mr. Raccoon Mrs. Bat Ms. Gorilla Ms. Mole Oliev Olive Sally (V.O.) (O.S.) (O.C.) (CONT'D) (SUBTITLE) Int Ext I/E BATS' CAVE (ARI'S HOUSE) BATS' CAVE - ARI'S ROOM - DAY ARI'S ROOM ARI'S KITCHEN BATS' CAVE (ARI'S HOUSE)- YARD - DAY BATS' CAVE (ARI'S HOUSE) - KITCHEN - DAY BATS' CAVE (ARI'S HOUSE) - BACK OF HOUSE MR. DOG'S YARD - DAY ARI'S ROOM - DAY ARI'S YARD - DAY SCHOOL - DAY CLASSROOM ANIMAL TOWN SQUARE MR. RACCOON'S BAKERY PARK STREET ON THE WAY TO THE PARK FRUIT STAND STREET ON THE WAY TO THE PARK - DAY PARK - DAY PARK - ANOTHER AREA ARI'S HOUSE - DAY Day Night Afternoon Morning Evening Later Moments Later Continuous The Next Day DAY DAY- MEANWHILE A WHILE LATER Cut To: Fade In: Fade Out. Fade To: Dissolve To: Back To: Match Cut To: Jump Cut To: Fade To Black. iris out: Order Title Location Color Page