1. INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
Fun stuff, but it needs significant shortening and streamlining. Suggested revisions below.
overall note - i rough timed it and it's over the 1:30 length for interstitials. There are some repeated lines where they say the same thing but in a different way ex line 6 & 11 that we can trim - should keep length to less than 3 pages
I'm a little concerned about the depth of content here. Would be good to have a clear short take away message. Maybe something about "we all store food in our bodies to use throughout the day and some animals store food/ water for even longer (like camels)". Is the content about "sharing food" or "storing food"? Also very curious about how the 'stuffed' ant actually shares food??? Kevin noticed some of the language that would be really challenging for preschool age children. Once the take away
We agree with all the notes that have been given for this already. Jorge and Daniels line suggestions are good and will help make the dialogue more preschool friendly and age appropriate. We also agree with Sara that we want the message to be clear. We think J&D's suggestion to change "store" to "save" is a good one. (And we appreciate the note to not show the regurgitation :-) A couple tiny notes below.
Olive stands at the front of the class proudly showing off a jar of preserved cherries.
Mz
. Mole stands by as the rest of the class sits in audience. We join Olive with her “show and share” already in progress.
"We think it'll be confusing to start in the middle of a scene. Rewrite as:
Pan in from the window that shows a snowy wintery setting outside. Olive stands at the front of the class proudly showing off a jar of cherries. Mz. Mole stands by as the rest of the class sits in the audience.
MZ. MOLE:
What are you sharing with us today Olive?
OLIVE:
Delicious summer cherries! "
OLIVE
And here you go! Summer cherries!
The kids marvel at the red, glistening treasure.
<SFX:
OOOO
!
AHHH!>
Hey waitaminute. How do you have summer cherries in the middle of winter?
ARI
Hey
waitaminute
. I haven’t seen cherries in the woods for a long time.
My dad and I picked them last summer and saved them so we could all enjoy them in the winter!
OLIVE
“That’s right, Ari.” Sounds old for Olive and more like something Mz. Mole would say.
That’s right, Ari. My dad and I picked them last summer.
Cut lines 4,5
Elinor
Oh
I
remember that. There were so many cherries last summer.
preserves' will our audience understand?
OLIVE
Well my dad and I made “cherry preserves” in these jars, so we can have cherries even now that there’s no more in the woods.
You know, that reminds me of a special kind of ant that saves food for later.
MZ
. MOLE
plentiful' may not be understood by our audience
Plentiful is a big word for preschoolers (this is already noted by others in the tracker)
You know, that reminds me of a special kind of ant, that can store up food when it is plentiful, and share that food later.
Elinor perks up.
Ants also save up food?
ELINOR
Ants
can store up food?
MZ
. MOLE
Sure - I have a book all about that!
The kids crowd around to get a closer look as
Mz
. Mole opens up her Magic Pop-up Book.
2. EXT DRY FOREST FLOOR (BOOK) -- DAY
As we peer into
Mz
. Mole’s book, we see ants scurrying around a dry forest floor, collecting food.
These are a special kind of ants, called “Honeypot Ants”!
MZ
. MOLE (O.C.) (CONT'D)
These are special kinds of ants, called “
Honeypot
Ants”!
Why are they called “Honeypot Ants”? They don’t look like pots of honey.
ARI (O.C.)
“
Honeypot
Ants”...! That’s a funny name. They don’t look like
honeypots
.
Not yet, but they will!
MZ
. MOLE (O.C.)
Oh, just you wait. These
honeypot
ants collect food when it is plentiful. More food than they can eat.
"Cut 12-14, replace with:
We see the ants collecting nectar from flowers.
ELINOR (O.C.): What are the ants doing, Mz Mole?
"
ELINOR (o.c.)
“More food than they can eat..?” I wonder why...
OLIVE (O.C.)
To make preserves..?
ARI (O.C.)
To open a restaurant?
The kids laugh at the thought of an ant restaurant .
<SFX:
KIDS LAUGH>
When there is a lot of nectar around, the ants collect the extra, and they save it for later.
MZ
. MOLE (O.C.)
You see, there isn’t always so much food around. So when there is a lot of food around, the ants collect the extra, and
they store it for later.
In the book, we see an ant with a bit of food in its mouth, walking toward a tiny refrigerator.
How do they save it? Ants don’t have jars, do they?
ELINOR (O.c.)
But they don’t have jars, do they..?
Ha! They don’t have jars. Instead, a few of the ants store the extra nectar inside their bodies!
MZ
. MOLE (O.c.)
the refrigerator may be unclear - suggest since they are talking about jars - we show jars and that dissapears
Good observation, Elinor! Ants do not have jars.
(In book) The refrigerator disappears in a
poof
.
<SFX:
POOF>
Cut 18
MZ
. MOLE (CONT’D)
So lots of ants work together and bring all the extra food to just a few, special ants.
(In book) the ant walks right by where the imaginary refrigerator was, and joins a cue leading up to our hero ant. The normal worker ants are all lined up in one direction, while hero ant faces them. The workers deliver their food to the hero one by one.
"The ants come back to the hive and join a queue leading up to a storage ant. The workers deliver their food to the storage ant one by one.
MZ. MOLE (O.S.) (CONT’D)
: And so they grow... and grow.... And grow...!
Close up on storage ant's..."
MZ
. MOLE (O.S.) (CONT’D)
These special ants collect the food from the others, and they grow... and grow.... And grow...! To store the food!
(In book) close up on hero ant’s body as she transforms from a normal looking ant and gradually swells to have the iconic
honeypot
ant shape. Her abdomen is huge and translucent, full of golden liquid food. Her little legs wiggle around, unable to move her body. She looks stuffed!
Cut 20
ELINOR (O.c.)
Woah
, there’s so much food in there, it looks like honey!
ARI (O.c.)
Oh, I get it! That’s why they’re called “
honeypot
ants!” Their bodies are like pots full of honey!
And this little ant shares the extra food with the other ants when they need it later! [Note: she shares by regurgitation, do not show]
MZ
. MOLE (O.c.)
Like J&D’s line suggestion here.
And what do you think happens when the ants need food later?
Cut 23-26We agree with all the notes that have been given for this already. Jorge and Daniels line suggestions are good and will help make the dialogue more preschool friendly and age appropriate. We also agree with Sara that we want the message to be clear. We think J&D's suggestion to change "store" to "save" is a good one. (And we appreciate the note to not show the regurgitation :-) A couple tiny notes below.
OLIVE (O.c.)
Oh, I have an idea! Then the big
honeypot
ant shares her food with the rest of the ants!
do we show how this works ? why she shrinks?
MZ
. MOLE (O.c.)
Appreciate the suggestion not to show regurgitation and cut some of these lines.
Well I think you’re right, Olive! There she goes, sharing her food around.
(In book) the hero ant gradually shrinks and shrinks and shrinks back to size, at which time she gives a sigh of relief and walks off on her own power.
MZ
. MOLE (CONT’D)
Thanks for sharing, little
honeypot
ant!
3. INT CLASSROOM
ELINOR
I get it; so the
honeypot
ants store food in their bodies, so they can share it later.
Olive proudly holds her jar of cherries aloft again.
"OLIVE: And we store cherries in the summer, so we can share them later.
ARI: Is it ""later"" yet?"
OlIVE
And we jar cherries in the summer, and that’s how we can share them later.
Olive pops off the lid of the jar with her trunk with a flourish, and as she does so says..
OLIVE (CONT'D)
Let’s eat.
ELINOR WONDERS WHY
EWW
interstitial: 131
Mz
. Mole
Storytime
Ants Share Food
Robert
Kalinowski
Follows:
ep
131A
"Olive's Library"
Curriculum: the kids learn about the
Honeypot
Ant, an ant which stores up food when food is plentiful in the form of honey in their abdomens, and then shares the stored honey when food is scarce.
LS1
. Understand that in some environments, food is sometimes plentiful and sometimes scarce.
LS2
. Understand that ants live in large, communal groups called colonies, with different ants performing different functions.
LS3
. Understand that certain individuals in a
Honeypot
Ant colony store up food as honey in their bodies when food is plentiful, so that they can share it later when food is scarce.
FIRST DRAFT: Feb. 10, 2020
OLIVE
ARI
CAMILLA
MS. MOLE
ELINOR
(V.O.)
(O.S.)
(O.C.)
(CONT'D)
(SUBTITLE)
INT
EXT
I/E
DAY
NIGHT
AFTERNOON
MORNING
EVENING
LATER
MOMENTS LATER
CONTINUOUS
THE NEXT DAY
MAGIC HOUR
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DUSK
SAME
SAME TIME
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Title
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CHARACTER
CHARACTER'S ARC