Nicely done, and deftly written (and fun to read). Like the added humor moments. Just suggestions for line tweaks below. Thanks! 1. ext. elinor’s yard - DAY Line Count - 108 Elinor P - 35 Olive P - 15 Ari P - 16 Mr. Beaver P - 19 Famer Bear P - 10 - (***We need to stay away from secondary characters singing songs/ditties it doesn't fit the structured that was previously discussed, if we are adamant about Farmer Bear singing it needs to be discussed with production. Thank you!) Mr. Hippo P - 8 (Cut 3 lines please!) Ranger Rabbit A - 5 Great fun. I really like the changes to the story at the beginning and the sequence is more supportive of the learning. Great job This looks great! Excellent revisions. This is in strong shape. ESTABLISHING. Under the shelter of a beautiful LEAFY TREE, ELINOR, ARI and OLIVE share a kid-size table. They’ve been drawing with crayons. elinor Okay, let’s see our story so far. Ready? Opening scene is really fun Olive and Ari nod. (The kids each hold a few drawings face-down ready to flip up.) ELINOR (storytelling) (CONT’D) ‘Once upon a time in the enchanted forest, there was a big, beautiful tree -’ ANGLE ON: Ari flips up a picture he made, of a HUGE TREE. eLINOR (storytelling) (CONT’D) ‘- where a bird had made her nest.’ Olive flips up her drawing, of a bird in a nest - but then Olive frowns. "A couple of questions about the stage notes for 4/5: - It says that Ari is drawing off the top of the paper – does that mean he is drawing on the table? - If the kids are outside, is it plausible that there would be a recycling bin near them as they draw?" OLIVE (laughing) Ari, your tree is taller than that paper. (It’s true - Ari is now drawing off the top of the paper.) aRI Oops. Better start again. Ari tosses his drawing into a RECYCLING BIN on the ground, which already has many sheets of discarded paper in it, and grabs a fresh sheet from a PILE OF PAPER on the table. Olive frowns slightly at her picture. OLIVE I’ll re-do mine too. I don’t like how the bird’s wings turned out. Olive recycles her drawing too, and grabs a new sheet. Elinor resumes the story, holding up her own picture - it shows an ‘OGRE’ in the woods. Make it more like the ogre was going to harm the trees (but not yet): "But one day, an ogre came stomping through the forest, and he wanted to push down all the trees!" ELINOR (storytelling) But one day, an ogre came stomping through the forest, pushing down all the trees! Olive and Ari stare at her picture. oLIVE An ogre? I thought it was going to be a giant! eLINOR Is there a difference? OLIVE A giant’s a lot bigger. Olive holds up a picture she made, with a giant who’s so big, only his FOOT fits in the drawing beside the tree! ELINOR Whoa, the poor trees! He could STEP on them! Okay, I’ll draw him as a giant - Elinor tosses her ‘ogre’ picture into the rather full RECYCLING BIN . She reaches for a new sheet of paper , but there isn’t any . Make it a little clearer: "- oops. We're out of paper. Come on, let’s get some more…" eLINOR (CONT’D) - oops. O ut of paper . Come on, let’s get some more... Elinor gets up and heads for the house. Her friends follow. 2. INT. KITCHEN - DAY RANGER RABBIT is chopping vegetables when the kids enter. ELINOR Hi Mom. Can I get some more paper from the cupboard? ranger RABBIT Sure, Elinor. Help yourself. (to Ari and Olive) How’s it going with your storybook? Make it about all the trees: "Great! It's about a bird who has to protect the trees from a giant." ARI (enthusiastic) Great! It’s about a bird who has to protect her tree from a giant. Cute RaNGER RABBIT Ah! Well, trees do need protecting. Elinor breaks in, gesturing to an empty shelf in a cupboard. ELINOR Mom? There’s no paper here. RangER RABBIT Oh? We must have run out. ELINOR (confused) Run out? But - this is where paper comes from. The cupboard! Ranger Rabbit smiles, making sure not to laugh. RANGER RABBIT Well before that, it comes from a store. OLIVE Yeah! Mr. Hippo’s store. ARI ( beat ) I knew that. ANGLE ON Elinor, suddenly thoughtful. Nice. Delete the "but" and the "anyway" to make it clearer she is not asking anyone in particular. ELINOR This question seems out of place here since they just said it comes from the store. Maybe Mom could prime for this by saying something like, “Do you know where paper comes from before the store?” Or maybe it makes more sense to wait for this question until Line 38. Hmm. I never thought about it before, but - where does paper come from, anyway? OLIVE (worried) We can’t finish making our book without paper. Elinor looks hopefully at Ranger Rabbit. eLINOR Maybe we could go to the store and buy some more? Ranger Rabbit reaches into a drawer for a little COIN PURSE. rANGER RABBIT All right. This should be enough money for a pack of paper. ELINOR Thanks Mom. We won’t be long! Elinor, Ari and Olive wave good-bye as they EXIT. DISSOLVE TO: 3. EXT. MAIN STREET - MR. HIPPO’S STORE ESTABLISH Mr. Hippo’s store, as the three kids hurry through the main door. A bell <JINGLES> to announce their arrival. 4. INT. MR. HIPPO’S STORE MR. HIPPO is moving along a shelf, rapidly (and comically) pricing items with a STICKER GUN - <KA-CHUNK KA-CHUNK> when the kids enter. Like the ka-chunk gag. :) ELINOR Hi Mr. Hippo. <KA-CHUNK> As Mr. Hippo turns to greet them, he ‘prices’ Ari. Mr. HIPPO (singsong) Good morning - whoops! Ari peels off the sticker. Add a group <GIGGLE> after this line instead of just the chuckle? ARI (jokes) Fifty cents? Aw , come on, I’m worth at least a dollar. Mr. Hippo ( chuckle ) Well, I am having a sale. What can I do for you , kids ? ELINOR We’re making a storybook, but we ran out of paper. Maybe make it the bottom or middle shelf, so it's accessible to the kids? MR. HIPPO Ah, paper! Aisle two. Top shelf. The kids eagerly hurry down an aisle - but their faces fall. POV - there’s an empty shelf in front of them. Make it a little clearer: "But there's no paper here!" ARI But there’s none here! Mr. Hippo approaches. He reacts with mild surprise. MR. HIPPO Oh ! I’m sorry. I guess we’re out . OLIVE But h ow can a store run out of paper? This is where paper comes from . "Could use a little room here to absorb the info (and a line from Ari since he doesn't say anything for a while). Split this line into two: MR. HIPPO (chuckles) Oh, no. Stores usually don't make the things they sell. ARI Really? MR. HIPPO Yes, everything you see in my store was made by someone else." Mr. HIPPO (chuckles) Oh, no. Stores usually don’t make the things they sell. Everything you see in my store was made by someone else. Elinor, Ari and Olive look at each other in surprise. They never thought about this. <SFX: SURPRISED OOOOHH WALLA> Wonder if this is where the question in Line 23 makes more sense. Maybe she says, “Someone else makes the paper? Where does paper come from?” ELINOR Then who makes the paper? MR. hIPPO Mr. Beaver. And it looks like I need to ask him to bring some more. ElINOR Why don’t we go and ask him for you? (aside, to Ari and Olive) Then maybe we’ll get to see how he makes the paper. Ari and Olive nod in enthusiastic agreement. Maybe after the kids leave, you can add a funny button with Mr. Hippo and the label maker. Maybe he labels his arm to price himself, or something simple like that. Ka-chunk Mr. Hippo Well, that would be fine! Thank you, kids. As the trio head out the door again - <JINGLE!> - we DISSOLVE TO: 5. Ext. Mr. beaver’s PAPER FACTORY The three kids approach Mr. Beaver’s ‘paper factory’ - really more of a small workshop on the Beaver family property. CLOSER - a PAPER-THEMED PICTOGRAM SIGN by the door confirms that this is the right place. Elinor <KNOCKS> on the door. Mr. Beaver (os) Come in! The kids push open the door. CUT TO: 6. Int. Mr. Beaver’s FACTORY INSIDE - the kids find MR. BEAVER, amid an assortment of low-tech, PAPER-MAKING EQUIPMENT. MR. BEAVER Well, h i there! What brings you to my paper factory this fine morning? Feels a little short. Try: "Hi, Mr. Beaver. We were making a storybook, but we ran out of paper." or "Hi, Mr. Beaver. We're looking for paper. We were making a storybook, but we ran out." ELINOR Paper, Mr. Beaver. We were making a storybook, but we ran out. OLIVE We went to the store to buy more, but Mr. Hippo’s out of paper too. "Add a little line for Ari between 46 and 47: ARI ""Ooh, you're going to make paper?""" Mr. BEAVER Ah, so he sent you to me! Well, you came to the right place. I was just about to make some. ELINOR (eager) Can we watch? We want to know how you do it. Mr. HIPPO Of course! Right this way... He beckons, and they follow him. Mr. Beaver’s first stop is a BIN, from which he takes a SMALL LENGTH OF CUT WOOD. Mr. bEAVER It all starts with this. elINOR A piece of wood? What does that have to do with paper? Mr. BEAVER Everything ! Paper is MADE from wood. CUT TO Elinor, Ari and Olive, who are quite amazed. <SFX: AMAZED WALLA> ELINOR That’s SO interesting! We need more observations. Mr. Beaver grabs 3 pairs of SAFETY GOGGLES, and dons his own. Mr. BEAVER Then you better put on your ‘observation’ goggles, for safety. The kids put on the goggles, giggling at how funny they look. <SFX: GIGGLE WALLA> Mr. BEAVER (CONT’D) First, I grind up the wood into little pieces. .. Mr. Beaver takes the log to a WOOD-GRINDING MACHINE. He feeds the log into it, and a <GRINDING NOISE> erupts. CUT TO the kids - covering their ears at the loud sound! WOOD SHAVINGS shower out the other end, into a box. Daniel loves the layer of jokes for the grownups here. Mr. BEAVER (CONT’D) We can keep this in if everyone really loves the joke, but... if you're looking for any lines to cut, we'd be okay with losing the reference to Apocalypse Now in a preschool show :) Ah, I love the smell of wood chips in the morning . ( jokes ) And the afternoon... and the evening. Mr. Beaver takes the box of wood shavings, and dumps this into a big TROUGH of STEAMING HOT WATER. Mr. BEAVER (CONT’D) Then I mix the wood chips with water... and cook it . He grabs a VERY LONG - HANDLED LADLE and starts stirring. Elinor watches with astonishment. Maybe more relatable to say "wood soup"? eLINOR Cook it? Like... wood porridge? Mr. BEAVER (chuckles) Exactly! Until the wood gets all soft and mushy... then it’s called pulp. Mr. Beaver turns to a SECOND TROUGH, spoons up some of the mushy pulp, and pours it over a framed screen. Mr. BEAVER (AMUSED) (CONT’D) Now I pour the wood pulp over a screen... Water pours off into a basin, below. Mr. Beaver picks up the screen full of wood pulp and puts it down on a flat mat . Then he lays a big flat board over it. Mr. BEAVER (CONT’D) Squish out all the water... He presses on the board - then lifts it up to REVEAL a damp sheet of homemade paper. Mr. BEAVER (CONT’D) TA-DA! One piece of slightly wet handmade paper. Go ahead, peel it off! Elinor gingerly peels the fresh paper off the screen, and holds it up to show her friends. <SFX: KIDS AMAZED WALLA> ARI That’s so cool! MR. beaver I’ll hang it up to dry. Mr. Beaver hangs the wet sheet of paper from a low string, like wet clothing on a clothesline. ELINOR I can’t believe I thought paper just came from the cupboard. Mr. BEAVER (chuckle) Just about everything we use is made somewhere else. And it’s all made out of something. "Add a line for Ari here after 66: ARI Great, can you make us some paper, Mr. Beaver?" OLIVE Like wood! Mr. Beaver puts his safety glasses back up on his forehead, looking thoughtful. (OS, the kids remove theirs too.) Add a "Uh," at the beginning of this line. Also, instead of "I'd better" change to "I need to" (then it's more of a need the kids can help with) mr. BEAVER Speaking of wood... that was my last piece. I’d better ask Farmer Bear to send over some more. Elinor gets an idea. Maybe add "We know where Farmer Bear's farm is. If you want, we can go and ask her right now?" (just to fill it out a little more) ELINOR If you want, we can go and ask her right now? MR. BEAVER Well, that would be a big help! aRI We’re on it, Mr. Beaver. See you later! As Ari sets off, still waving good-bye, Mr. Beaver warns - Mr. BEAVER 71-73: Cute! Watch out for the - Nice physical comedy moment. <WET SMACK!> Ari has walked right into the sheet of wet paper he just hung up! Ari peels it off, cringing. Mr. bEAVER (CONT’D) - (chuckle) Wet paper. ARI (sheepish) Heh . Sorry. As Ari wipes his face and follows the girls OS, we DISSOLVE TO: 7. EXT. FARMER BEAR’S TREE FARM - MINUTES LATER FARMER BEAR uses a SHOVEL to dig a small hole, at the edge of a woodlot. She hums happily as she works. SFX: HAPPY HUMMING> Then she takes a perky TREE SEEDLING from her SUPPLY WAGON and plants it in the hole. As she tamps down the earth - elinor (os) Hi, Farmer Bear ! The f armer looks up to see Elinor, Ari and Olive approach. sprouts is very nice FARMER BEAR (cheerful) Well, if it isn’t Elinor, Ari and Olive! What are you sprouts doing here? eLINOR Mr. Beaver sent us. See, we need more paper to finish our storybook - OLIVE - but Mr. Beaver can’t make the paper without wood. Ari looks around, to see where the wood comes from. Change to "So we came to help you pick more wood." ARI If you’re busy, we could just pick the wood ourselves, and take it to him? Farmer Bear raises an eyebrow, puzzled. FARMER BEAR Pick the wood? Change "it" to "wood" ARI love this! Us, too! Yeah! Doesn’t it grow on trees? THOUGHT BUBBLE - Ari imagines SMALL WOOD PLANKS like the one Mr. Beaver had, dangling from tree limbs like fruit. The farmer plucks one off, and puts it into a bushel basket. (END THOUGHT BUBBLE) Add a "Mmm…" to the beginning of her line. FARMER BEAR (chuckling) Not exactly, Ari. Wood doesn’t grow ON trees. Trees are MADE of wood. Elinor looks confused. This isn’t making sense yet. This next section is a little tricky because we want to convey the message that trees get cut down, but we don't want to make it too grim. Some suggestions below. ELINOR Wait. What do you mean? Change to: "Wood comes from the trunks of big trees. We have to cut them down to get the wood." FARMER BEAR Wonder if this should say “trunks and branches” for where wood comes from Wood comes from the trunks of big trees, when they’re cut down. Elinor’s eyes widen. She looks to Elinor and Ari, who look astonished too. This makes the problem much more clear for the characters. Nice job ELINOR You have to cut down trees to get wood? Delete this line. aRI But Ranger Rabbit says trees need protecting! Change to "Yes, but don't worry. For every tree I cut down, I plant… (continue with rest of line as is)" FARMER BEAR And she’s right. That’s why, for every tree I cut down, I plant two new ones. That way there’ll be plenty of trees in the future. She gestures to the row of seedlings she’s just planted. Change description below this line to something like: "Elinor is thinking about what she just heard, while Olive and Ari try to get a handle on all of this." FARMER BEAR (CONT’D) I guess you could say I’m planting some ‘wood’ right now. Elinor, Olive and Ari try to get a handle on all of this. Change to: "Let me get this straight. To get paper, first you get wood from a tree -" OLIVE Let me get this straight. To get paper, first you cut down a big tree, for its wood - ARI - then the wood goes to a factory to be made into paper - Give this line to Olive. Elinor should be still thinking about the fact that they have to cut down trees. ELINOR - then the paper goes to a store, where we buy it and take it home? Farmer Bear nods. FARMER BEAR That’s it! It sounds like you figured out the whole paper trail. <MUSIC UP> as Farmer Bear launches into a - SONG moment - "The Paper Trail" (As she sings, Farmer Bear digs a new hole. Elinor helpfully puts a seedling into it, and tenderly covers it with soil.) farmer bear (sing s ) (CONT’D) You’re on the trail of paper And this is what you found It all start s when a tiny tree I s planted in the ground The farmer pats the thick trunk of the nearest mature tree. Change "cut" to "bring" and suggest changing the last two lines to: "And then we make some wood / and take it into town" FARMER BEAR (sings) (CONT’D) The tree gr ows tall and mighty Until we cut it down And then the wood that c o me s from it i s taken into town ALT: 'The tree grows tall and mighty, until we need its wood / we cut it down, but baby trees are planted where it stood' As the three kids listen, we DISSOLVE TO: FLASHBACK - INT. MR. BEAVER’S PAPER FACTORY QUICK CUTS to recap the papermaking process, as Mr. Beaver grinds up the log, ‘ cooks’ the wood into pulp, and pours it out onto a screen. The wood goes to a factory To grind and mix and blend ANGLE ON Elinor, the moment she peels wet paper off a screen , and holds it up in wonder. Whoever knew that paper would Come out the other end? BACK TO SCENE - the kids now march behind Farmer Bear as she pulls her SUPPLY WAGON along as she sings: The paper travels to a store, From there we take it home. Oh, every piece of paper has A story of its own! (END SONG.) Farmer Bear has stopped her wagon near a MID-SIZED TREE. FARMER BEAR (CONT’D) Well, I guess I’d better get some wood for Mr. Beaver. She reaches for an axe in the wagon. Delete this line. ARI So he can make the paper we need, to finish our book ! ANGLE ON Elinor - her eyes grow wide, and she gestures for the Farmer to stop. Let's add a little more to this line to explain the bigger picture, something like: "Wait! Farmer Bear, I know that having paper is good, and that we have to cut trees to get it, but… Maybe we don't need more paper yet." ELINOR Wait! Don’t cut down the tree!( beat ) Maybe we don’t need more paper yet. Ari and Olive look surprised. Change "book" to "storybook"? OLIVE What? But how else can we finish our book? ELINOR I think I know another way... Off Olive and Ari’s puzzled looks, we DISSOLVE TO: 11. EXT. ELINOR’S HOUSE WIDE ON the yard, with its <CHIRPING> birds, and shady tree. The crayons and recycling bin are right where they left them. CLOSER - Elinor leads Olive and Ari to the brimming recycling bin . She picks it up and puts it on top of the table. ELINOR Look, we still have LOTS of paper in the recycling bin. Ari takes out a sheet, and holds the already-used side towards Elinor. ARI But it’s used. Consider changing "The other side is still good" to "We can still draw on the other side." ELINOR Only on one side. The other side is still good. She turns the paper around to show the fresh reverse side. consider: we should not waste so much of it ELINOR (CONT’D) We like Sara's suggestion for this. Now that we know paper comes from trees... maybe we could use a little less of it? CUT TO Ari and Olive. They look up at the big, friendly tree overhead - and share a smile. OLIVE We can do that. Elinor grins, and raids the recycling bin, handing out a few sheets to each of her friends. aRI So... where were we? eLINOR (grins) Protecting the forest. OLIVE (laughing) Oh yeah! They settle in at the table, flip their paper over to the blank side, and resume their brainstorming, crayons poised. ELINOR What if the bird takes one of her feathers, and sneaks up on the giant - Try making the message a little more positive: the bird tickles the giant's feet, and the giant laugs so hard that he doesn't want to squish the trees anymore. And they all live happily together. ARI - Oh! And tickles his feet so hard that he can’t stand it! SLOWLY, we start to TILT UP to the leafy tree canopy above... OLIVE (os) The giant runs away, and the trees are SAVED! <SFX: COOL, AWESOME WALLA>...as we FADE OUT.

EWW126 "The Paper Trail - SECOND DRAFT - 23-May-19

<SFX:

ELINOR WONDERS WHY EP.126 “The Paper Trail” By: Karen Moonah Elinor's Question: Where does paper come from? Logline: When Elinor and her friends run out of drawing paper, they follow the 'paper trail' backwards, from the store, to the mill, to a forest - and learn where paper really comes from. ES 3a ) Ask questions about and discuss examples of how humans use Earth's resources (including soil and water) to meet their needs. ES 3c ) Participate in simple activities to care for the environment. (Elinor and her friends discover that we use trees to make paper, and help to plant trees to replace the ones they've cut down.) ND 4 ( RTL Crosscutting concept 'Flows, Cycles and Conservation') Appreciate the way that elements in the natural world change, interact and are re-used, and how we can organize our designed world to better fit and care for the environment. (Elinor and her friends come to understand the importance of replacing the trees we use, and of recycling paper, and protecting the forest) Mains - Elinor, Ari, Olive, Mr. Beaver, Farmer Bear Secondary: Ranger Rabbit, Mr. Hippo Locations: Elinor's House, General Store, Paper Workshop, Tree Farm Props: crayons, paper, recycling bin, papermaking equipment, wheelbarrow, axe, wagon, shovels, tree seedlings. OUTLINE: March 29, 2019 FIRST DRAFT: April 25, 2019 SECOND DRAFT: May 23, 2019 Ari Ari / Olive / elinor Crowd elinor Elinor / Olive ELINOR / Olive / ari ELINOR / Olive / ARI / farmer bear / lambs Elinor / Olive / ari / others eLINOR / Olive /a FARMER BEAR G L Lamb 1, 2, 3 / beaver LamB 1, 2, 3 / BEAVER / farmer bear / Olive / ari / elinor Mrs. Mrs. Gorilla Ms. Mole Olive Olive / ARI Olive / elinor Olive. Other students ROLLIE ROLLIE’S SISTER Sr Students Tomato mascot VARIOUS STUDENTS All kids ELINOR/ari MRS. Gorilla/elinor/olive/ari Mz. Mole Ranger rabbit Mr. Hippo Mr. Beaver ARI / OLIVE / MR. BEAVER I Elinor / ari / olive B (V.O.) (O.S.) (O.C.) (CONT'D) (SUBTITLE) (to herself) (muffled) (os) (thoughtful) (grins) (sings) (CALLS) (SHEEPISH) (cheery) INT EXT I/E 6. EXT 1 2 A SOUVENIR STAND DROP LADDER BEAVERS' PRACTICE AREA SCHOOLYARD CLASSROOM MRS. GORILLA'S JUICE CART INT. CLASSROOM ANIMAL TOWN EXT. ELINOR'S HOUSE INT. ELINOR'S HOUSE MR. HIPPO'S STORE MR. BEAVER'S WORKSHOP FARMER BEAR'S TREE FARM ELINOR'S HOUSE DAY NIGHT AFTERNOON MORNING EVENING LATER MOMENTS LATER CONTINUOUS THE NEXT DAY MINUTES LATER ESTABLISHING KITCHEN CUT TO: FADE IN: FADE OUT. FADE TO: DISSOLVE TO: BACK TO: MATCH CUT TO: JUMP CUT TO: FADE TO BLACK. ‘fluff’ wipe to: