"Overall: very fun. Top notes:
- Some tweaking of the vocab to be broadly relatable. ""song"" and ""concert"" instead of ""call"" and ""orchestra""
- Consider adding a cameo by Sr. Tapir. You could introduce the idea in l6 (see below) and have him appear at the end, playing ""with"" the frogs. Remember that in the episode that precedes it, the kids play ""natural instruments"" together with Sr Tapir, so it would be a nice connection and a funny visual. Just an idea. "
1. Ext. Pond - Day
cute
Very fun! Not much to add to the group's good notes -- just one comment below.
Mz
. Mole unexpectedly and excitedly runs through the scene past a group of children sitting by the pond (Elinor, Olive, Ari, Mary, Liv, Koa, Sally).
Can we have the pond be the river behind the school? The kids can be playing in the playground as Ms.Mole runs by heading towards the stream. then chase and follow
Mz
. Mole
It’s starting! It’s starting!
Elinor
(Calling after her)
Mz
. Mole? What’s starting?
We think "concert" or "music concert" will be more broadly understandable than "orchestra"
MZ
. MOLE
I do think ' concert' would work better here.
The orchestra! Come along children! We don’t want to be late!
Giggling, the children chase after her. When they catch up with her, she is sitting by the edge of a pond and excitedly holding theater binoculars up to her eyes. The children look down at the pond and notice
Mz
. Mole is staring at a tiny spring peeper frog that is calling with its throat puffing out with a <SFX: PEEP, PEEP>.
ARI
Uhhh it’s a frog.
MZ
. MOLE
Exactly! Isn’t it marvelous!
Could be "Where's the concert? Is Sr Tapir going to play for us?"
OLIVE
I thought you said it was an orchestra. Where are the instruments?
Maybe "The concert is right here. The frogs are going to sing for us. Listen!" To drive the point home, consider adding ARI: "Wow! I didn't know frogs could sing."
MZ
. MOLE
Is Elinor using Ms.Moles binoculars or she has her own? if its her own then its a bit odd that she'd have it on her. We could have it in Olives' satchel. Olive can grab it to look through and can give her line 8
It IS an orchestra. The frog orchestra! And it’s only just beginning!
Elinor looks with her binoculars. BIN POV she sees a wood frog floating in the water and <SFX: WOOD FROG CROAKING> with ballooning vocal sacs.
BACK ON:
Mz
. Mole and the kids.
Since Elinor is watching one frog, we wanted this line to be based on her observations and have her say something like, “Why is that frog puffing its throat like a balloon?” She doesn’t really know that they all do it, just that this frog she sees is doing it.
ELINOR
Mz
. Mole, why do frogs puff up their throats like balloons?
"..and it makes the frog's song louder"
MZ
. MOLE
The pop-up book we have designed for Ms.Mole is too big to hold in her pocket - suggest she was carrying it the whole time. please add that to the description when we first see Ms.Mole
Good question. That balloon you see is called the vocal sac, and it makes the frog’s call louder for all to hear.
Mz
. Mole pulls a booklet out of her pocket, a guide to the frog orchestra. She opens the cover which reveals an image of a different kind of frog on each page.
INT. BOOK - DAY
ANGLE ON: The booklet illustrations of frogs come to life. We see an eastern gray tree-frog, a Goliath bullfrog and a coqui frog.
"replace ""call"" with ""song""
cut ""living throughout the world"" Maybe this can be shown visually.
Also cut ""in a grand orchestra"". ""Different instruments"" is clear enough."
MZ
. MOLE
the frogs in the pop-up book - can we take the 3 here from the list of frogs at the very end to save on designs? (eastern gray frog is the only one reused)
There are nearly 5,000 different kinds of frogs living all throughout the world. And they all have their own unique call, like different instruments in a grand orchestra. Just listen.
and then you could use the word "band" here. I also wondered about the 'unique call' verses 'different sound'. I think the context supports either one.
As
Mz
. Mole names different species of frogs, we see and hear them calling.
MZ
. MOLE (CONT’D)
The eastern gray treefrog.
<SFX: EASTERN GRAY TREE FROG CROAKING>
Olive
That one’s so cute.
MZ
. MOLE
The Goliath bullfrog.
<SFX: GOLIATH FROG CROAKING>
"Its voice is so deep" or "Its voice is so low" ("deep" might be confusing since we are also talking about water). Also might be fun for Elinor to try to speak this line with a fake-deep voice.
EliNOR
It’s so deep!
MZ
. MOLE
And the loudest of them all, the tiny but mighty coqui frog.
<SFX:
COQUI
FROG CROAKING>
"Big sounds for a little frog"
Ari
back to concert
Wow! Pretty loud for such a little frog!
BACK AT: The pond. The children look over at
Mz
. Mole who is holding a stick like a conductor’s wand and waving it.
Could pan out slightly to see Sr Tapir playing guitar along with the frog orchestra.
MZ
. MOLE
Everyone grab a wand! Let’s conduct our very own frog orchestra.
Consider adding a wrap up line to tie to A episode about natural music: MM: "Ha ha! See, Nature makes music, just like we do!"
The children all now have sticks and are pretending to conduct as we see and hear <SFX: A VARIETY OF FROGS> all calling throughout the pond - the northern spring peeper, the wood frog, the western chorus frog, the eastern gray treefrog, the green frog and the bullfrog.
THE END.
ELINOR WONDERS WHY
EWW116
INTERSTITIAL:
MZ
. MOLE STORY TIME: FROG ORCHESTRA
Written by
Robert
Sams
Curriculum: The kids learn that there are nearly 5,000 different kinds of frogs in the world, each with a unique call.
Learning Goals:
LS1
. Understand that all living things have external parts
LS2
. Understand that animals have different body parts that are used in different ways to
meet their needs, and that plants have different parts that help them survive and grow:
First Draft: 3-Jun-19
Ms. mole
Elinor
ARI
Hazel
(V.O.)
(O.S.)
(O.C.)
(CONT'D)
(SUBTITLE)
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EXT. POND
DAY
NIGHT
AFTERNOON
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THE NEXT DAY
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Order
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CHARACTER
CHARACTER'S ARC