"Lots of fun, great job. Some changes to make the curiosity story arc clearer and simpler: - Let's add a bit more to the first scene, to ease us into the problem and add more fun. - Let's move the song to AFTER their encounter with Mrs. Gorilla - Modifications to the armadillo and Mrs. Gorilla interactions to make the curiosity arc clearer. - Let's remove the scene where they are experimenting with carving the coconut. Specific notes below. Thanks!" 1. Int. Classroom - DAY this is very sweet story - clean and concise. the imagery is clear with cute dialogue between the kids. I like that the cupcake is for Ms Mole now. Teachers do have birthdays too! I made a few comments on the word "shell". I understand you are meaning it be a hard covering for protection. I am just concerned saying that insects have shells...this could be confusing. It could be OK if each time "shell" was used it was really clearly described. I think the take away is more about protection. It might be better to add "protecting" before you use the word shell or just use the term "hard covering for protection" or "protective covering" This is a really cute story and we also like the shift to Ms. Mole's birthday. In thinking about Sara's comment about shells, we think that it works as currently written since it ascribes the shells to particular creatures and doesn't generalize. For example, it doesn't say that insects as a whole group have shells, but just beetles, which seems to be OK in the entymology world. (Though it might be good to check in with an entymologist to make sure we are being accurate. I found this but not sure if the source is expert enough: https://askentomologists.com/2017/03/14/tough-shell/) Only other general note is that it seems an engineering learning goal would make sense here to support the ND goal. We have SEP1 which talks about identifying a problem, but then we don't have "designing a solution" for SEP6 (would be SEP6d). Also could add ET1a and/or ET1b (b. Define a simple problem that can be solved through the design of a new or improved tool or technology) We join Elinor’s class during the happy hubbub of snack time. ARI and ELINOR have their SNACK BAGS in hand as they settle into side-by-side chairs, saving one for Olive. Ari does a jazzy little wiggle as he opens his bag. "Let's add a little more to the beginning, so we don't start so cold. Before the current first description, add: 1. EXT. ELINOR’S SCHOOL - DAY It’s another clear day at Elinor’s school. As we approach, we hear Ms. Mole wrapping up a lesson. MS. MOLE: Ok, kids, that’s the end of our morning lesson. 1. INT. CLASSROOM - DAYCONTINUOUS Ms. Mole is stepping away from the chalkboard, slapping her hands of chalk dust. MS. MOLE: And now, it’s time for... SNACK TIME! ALL KIDS: Yay!/Woo hoo!/Snack Time! The kids all run to get their snacks from their bags. Ms. Mole looks on, as the cloud of chalk dust from her hands builds up. MS. MOLE: Ah... Ahhh... Ah-CHOO! (sniffs) Mm, I could use a snack too. Then continue with ""We join Elinor during the hubbub of snack time..."" " ARI Snack time, snack time... ooh, I got raisins! "Lines 1-2: Let’s add a little fun here: ARI: Snack time, snack time... ooh, I loooove snack time! Let’s see what I got... I got... He pulls out some carrot sticks, and he looks mildly disappointed. ARI (CONT’D): Hm. Carrot sticks. ELINOR: Ari, you got carrot sticks! I LOVE carrot sticks, they’re my favorite! Let’s see what I got... Elinor pulls out a little bag of raisins, and looks mildly disappointed. ELINOR (CONT’D): Hm. Raisins. ARI: Elinor, you got raisins! That’s awesome, raisins are MY favorite! They both look at their respective snacks, not too excited. Suddenly, they both realize the obvious solution. ELINOR/ARI: <GASP!> (Together) WANNA TRADE?? The kids happily trade and very excitedly start snacking. Then continue with ""Elinor looks OFF towards the cloakroom area...""" eLINOR I got carrot sticks! Elinor looks OFF towards the cloakroom area. ELINOR (CONT’D) Olive? Did you find your snack? CLOAKROOM AREA - Olive is still digging deep in her bag. She takes out SEVERAL HARDCOVER BOOKS, a JUMBO BOX OF CRAYONS... OLIVE It’s in here somewhere... aha! Found it. Olive finally pulls out a SMALL BROWN BAG and heads back to join them. On the way, she passes an oversized WALL CALENDAR, with pictograms on special days. She double-takes. ZOOM IN on a BIRTHDAY CAKE pictogram, with Mrs. Mole’s face. Olive brightens! She hurries to join her friends. Here and in the rest of the entire script, change "Mrs. Mole" to "Ms. Mole" OLIVE (low, urgent) (CONT’D) Elinor! Ari! Did you notice? It’s Mrs. Mole’s birthday tomorrow! ARI Teachers have birthdays? Elinor (chuckling) Of course they do. Let’s do something nice for her! OLIVE We could make her a picture? CUT TO Mrs. Mole, who is busy cleaning the chalkboard, beside a whole wall-full of KID-DRAWN PICTURES of herself. Could we consider saying, "She already has lots of pictures." The use of "Enh" sounds dismissive and not very kind. ARI Enh , she has a lot of pictures. ELINOR How about a craft? CUT TO: the teacher’s desk, groaning under a collection of CRAFTS. (PENCIL CUPS, WALNUTS WITH GOOGLY EYES, etc.) OLIVE (part os) She has a lot of those, too. ( beat ) I know! I’ll bring her a cupcake tomorrow! Mom made a whole batch for her book club. In fact... I got one for snack! With great ceremony, Olive reaches into her snack bag and pulls out - a SLIGHTLY SQUASHED CUPCAKE. Her face falls. "Add a line after 12 for Elinor: ELINOR: (empathetically) It must have gotten squished inside your bag." OLIVE (disappointed) (CONT’D) Aw ! It squished . How’d that happen? Give this line to Ari, and add "…your bag, Olive." ELINOR (GENTLY) You do carry a lot of stuff in your bag. this is a fun visual moment - she can wipe them with them still on so we see the glasses clear up revealing her eyes Mrs. mole (os) Is everything all right? CUT TO Mrs. Mole as she turns from the chalk-board, her glasses coated in chalk dust. As she pauses to clean them - - Olive, Elinor, and Ari zip into an awkward tableau, to block her view of the cupcake on the table. OLIVE / elinor / ari Yes! / Fine! / Nuthin’ to see! Mrs. Mole squints at them for a moment, then nods and goes back to what she was doing. The kids look relieved. Change "surprise" to "cupcake surprise" ARI Thinking about our portrayal of Ms. Mole, wondered if they could say, "She didn't notice it." (so as not to single out sight) Phew! She didn’t see it. I’d hate to spoil the surprise. OLIVE (worried) And I’d hate to spoil her cupcake tomorrow. What if it goes ‘squish’ like this one? ELINOR Don’t worry, Olive. We’ll just have to find a way to stop the squish! Off her expression of deep thought, we DISSOLVE TO: 2. EXT. TOWN - DAY After school, Elinor, Ari and Olive walk home together, brainstorming a solution to their cupcake conundrum. eLINOR Maybe you could carry the cupcake on a plate? again , really nice fun visuals to add comedy OLIVE I could... but what if I trip? THOUGHT BUBBLE - Olive imagines herself carrying a plate with a cupcake on it, as she hikes down a path full of exaggerated obstacles. Rocks, tree roots, banana peels... OLIVE (CONT’D) Whoa... whoa... OOF ! Olive slips on a banana peel, and falls forward. <SQUISH!> BACK TO SCENE. Ari nods, agreeing. ARI That would squish it all right. What if I fly it to school? THOUGHT BUBBLE - Ari imagines himself holding the cupcake as he flies. But since Ari’s paw is connected to his wing, the cupcake goes up and down as he flies. Up, down, up, down, UP - ARI (CONT’D) WHOA! - he loses his grip, and the cupcake arcs through the air! IN THE SCHOOLYARD - It lands on Mrs. Mole’s head. <SPLAT!> BACK TO SCENE. Elinor cringes, just thinking about it. Change this to: "That might squish the cupcake too…" (risky seems too adult) Agree with J&D's note. The line here sounds a bit adult. ELINOR That might be risky too... By now, they’re passing a PARK. Suddenly, a volleyball comes bouncing across their path. In description above this line, let's change from volleyball to a play ball or playground ball (something softer). ROLLIE (os) Heads up! The ball misses them, but it does bounce over and <BONK> - - A TURTLE, who was creeping along at the side of the path. He quickly pulls his head and limbs inside his shell. Add to this line: "Oh no! Poor turtle! Is it hurt?" ELINOR (DISMAYED) Oh, no! Is it hurt? Elinor rushes over, with Ari and Olive close behind. But she’s surprised to see the turtle peek his head out - then his legs pop out and he resumes his leisurely stroll. In the description above this line, add: "Elinor rushes over, with Ari and Olive close behind. But she’s surprised to see the turtle peek his head out - then his legs pop out, and he looks at the kids, seemingly unphased." (don't have him walk off yet). Olive No. He hardly noticed! Elinor is surprised - and very curious. Delete lines 28 to 31. ELINOR I worried alittle that the question jumps in content but maybe after Elinor asks this question, one of the other charcters could say "you mean not get hurt?" to connect the language of "protecting self" with the actions of what happened.- NEVERMIND. I see you sorted this out in line 30 & 31. Sara's note here makes sense. It seems odd that they would jump to idea of protection before working through the purpose of the shell. It makes sense for them to start with a more general question like, "How did the turtle not get hurt?" and then fold in the vocab word of "protect" in Line 31 after there is some context to define it. That’s SOO interesting! How did the turtle protect itself? Cautiously, she reaches out and <RAPS> on his shell. ELINOR (CONT’D) His shell is really hard. Ari and Olive gently <TAP> on it with their knuckles too. ARI Yeah. Reminds me of my bike helmet. Can fold in "protect" here instead of in Line 28 because now the concept has been defined. "You know, to protect him and keep him safe." ELINOR (thoughtful) Maybe his shell works the same way as a helmet? You know, to keep him safe. Just then, ROLLIE (an ARMADILLO) enters looking for his ball. Change the description below this line to: "He retrieves the ball from the bushes and comes out to check on the turtle." RoLLIE Sorry about that! He retrieves it from the bushes. ROLLIE (CONT’D) My sister was trying to hit me with the ball, but she missed. "Let's not put so much emphasis on the armadillos trying to hit each other. Replace lines 34-38 with this dialogue: ROLLIE (CONT’D): Is the turtle ok? ARI: Yeah, he’s ok. He didn’t even feel it! The turtle looks at the kids, then resumes its leisurely walk. ROLLIE (GRINS): <PHEW> He’s a tough little guy. OLIVE: What are you playing, Rollie? ROLLIE: I’m playing dodgeball. See? Rollie tosses the ball in the air and playfully bounces it off the shell on his upper back. ELINOR: Doesn’t that hurt? ROLLIE: Nah. Armadillos like me have a shell, see? Just like the turtle." eliNOR (surprised) Hit you with it? Ari points at the ball. ARI Well, don’t give it back to her! the action after 36 is unmotivated - as if he's already showing them his armour. i suggest we moving this action to after 38 - and this will be his example instead of tapping his chest ROLLIE (grins) Many preschoolers will not know what dodgeball is. You did a nice job trying to explain so they do not have to have had experience. I'm Not sure the game needs a name? ( laugh ) It’s okay, we’re playing dodgeball. It’s part of the game. Rollie tosses the ball in the air and playfully bounces it off his chest - it flies off screen. elINOR But doesn’t that hurt? ROLLIE Nah . I have armour . See? He <TAPS> on his own armour plates. ROLLIE (CONT’D) Nice and hard! ( shrugs ) It’s an armadillo thing. suggest we cut this line - not necessary to cast and get her in for one line - Rollie can just say that he's gotta get back to the game “anyways, Gotta Roll! see you later” ROLLIE’S SISTER (OS, distant) Rollie! C’mon ! Rollie looks OS, then waves to Elinor, Ari and Olive. ROLLIE Gotta roll. See you later! Rollie heads OS to rejoin the game. "Add to the description above this line: ""Rollie heads OS to rejoin the game. Elinor and her friends continue walking."" Then change this line to: ""Wow. That's so cool.""" Olive Wow. His armour protects him. Change this line to: "It’s like he has a helmet for his WHOLE BODY!" Ari Like a helmet. Or a turtle shell! Elinor absorbs this new information. "Change this line to: ""Hmmm…"" Then move entire song sequence (from line 44 to line 53) to later, AFTER talking to Mrs. Gorilla." ELINOR consider being more specific...even if it is to repeat what was just said. I wonder if anything else in nature is like that? (excited) We need more observations! As Elinor rallies her friends OS, we launch into… 3. EXT. TOWN - SONG MOMENT - "A Shell" We FOLLOW Elinor, Ari and Olive as they pass through town on their way home, encountering a few other creatures with ‘tough outsides’. "These following notes will make sense LATER, when we move the song to AFTER they talk to Mrs. Gorilla. In the description above 45, add Mrs. Gorilla, and have them just walk around town: ""We FOLLOW Mrs. Gorilla, Elinor, Ari and Olive as they pass through town, encountering a few other creatures with ‘tough outsides’."" Give line 45 to MRS. GORILLA (Mrs. Gorilla will sing the first two choruses)" ELINOR / ari / Olive (sing) A shell, a shell Protected by a shell A shell is such a clever way To keep you safe and well Just then, Elinor sees - - A JUNE BUG in flight! Suddenly, it bumps into the side of a building and loses altitude - ari could pop in and sing the 'look how small' part ELINOR (sings) There’s a beetle, look how small! OLIVE (sings) Oops - it bumped into a wall! - but the bug quickly recovers and they watch it fly away. The term shell should be used for snails but probably not for insects. ELINOR (sings) But that’s okay, ‘cause after all, As mentioned above, as long as the term shell is mentioned specific to a beetle and not insects in general, we think it is OK. Good though to check with an entymologist to ensure scientific accuracy. A beetle has a shell They walk onward, singing - Give this line to MRS. GORILLA. ELINOR / ari / Olive (sing) A shell, a shell Protected by a shell A shell is such a clever way To keep you safe and well Ari points to a SNAIL, climbing up a sturdy plant stalk. A bird hops closer... Ari (part os; sings) You see that snail? I have a hunch A bird would like him for her lunch ...but when the bird tries to snap up the snail, its beak glances off the hard shell. The bird gives up and moves on. ELINOR (sings) But shells are much too hard to crunch That's why it has a shell! The three friends skip onward through town, singing - "In the description above this line, change to: ""The three friends and Mrs. Gorilla skip onward through town and back to the fruit stand, singing -"" Add MRS. GORILLA to this line. Here all four of them sing it together. Then in the description after line 52, have the kids go back to the fruit stand: ""The SONG ENDS, and the kids go back to their original position around the fruit stand.""" ELINOR / OLIVE / ARI (sing) A shell, a shell Protected by a shell A shell is such a clever way To keep you safe and well The SONG ENDS, and the kids scamper OS! CUT TO: 4. EXT. MRS. GORILLA'S JUICE CART - MOMENTS LATER As the kids continue home, Ari wipes his brow. Change this line to: "(Whew!) Speaking of whole body, my whole body is thirsty." aRI (Whew!) I’m thirsty. Mrs. Gorilla (Part os) Well you came to the right place! REVERSE ANGLE - they’re approaching a JUICE STAND run by an effusive MRS. GORILLA. The stand is decorated and stocked with BANANAS, COCONUTS and ORANGES. MRS. gORILLA (CONT’D) Would you like a free sample of coconut water? Smiling brightly, she holds up a coconut in one hand. ELINOR Yes, please! Thanks, Mrs. Gorilla. OLIVE Can I squeeze out the juice? I love making orange juice at home. Mrs. Gorilla is a bit taken aback. MRS. GORILLA Oh! But - coconuts are a bit different than oranges... But Olive is already squeezing a hard-shelled coconut over a cup as hard as she can, with her hands, then her trunk. Olive ( strain ) Wow. The outside is hard! Ari (confident) I think you have to peel it first. Like this! Ari takes the coconut, and pries at it - with no luck. aRI (CONT’D) (strains) How’re you supposed to get into this thing?! Mrs. Gorilla smiles. "Change this line to: You have to get through the shell. I'll show you!"" (let's not talk about breaking the shell) Then in description after this line, change ""puncture"" to ""pokes""" MRS. GORILLA After 62 - reads that Mrs.Gorilla take the coconut back - i suggest when Olive first grabbed the coconut to squeeze it, she picked another one that was sitting on the juice stand and not grabbing the one from Mrs.Gorilla. Otherwise it seems a bit rude You have to break the shell. I’ll show you! She takes the coconut back, and punctures the hard shell twice with an MALLET and an AWL, then pours out the coconut water into three small CUPS. ELINOR So that’s how you get the coconut water out. "Delete lines 64 to 65. Add this dialogue: ELINOR: So that’s how you get the coconut water out. OLIVE: It’s delicious! ARI: Yeah! While Olive and Ari talk to Mrs. Gorilla, Elinor curiously examines the coconut shell. MRS. GORILLA: And what brings you to the park today, kids? OLIVE: Well, Mrs. Gorilla, we’re trying to figure out how to stop the squish! MRS. GORILLA: The squish? ARI: Olive wants to bring a cupcake tomorrow for Ms. Mole's birthday, but everything Olive puts in her bag gets squished! OLIVE: (smiling) I like to carry a lot of things. MRS. GORILLA: I see! That is a hard problem! Or... a soft and squishy problem? Just then, Elinor has a realization. ELINOR: Hey! That is SO INTERESTING. It isn’t just turtles and armadillos that have shells to protect them. Some plants do too!" Mrs. goRILLA we could have dialogue overlapping the action of cutting the coconut and spooning it out for the kids. ex line 66, 67 and then 65 once they've tried the coconut. - unless its visually important for the viewers to see the process close up? They mention using a big knife to cut open the coconut. Could we change this to tapping with a mallet or just have Ms. Gorilla hit it against a hard surface like a rock on the ground or a countertop? We'd like to avoid a big knife for safety reasons. This video shows few different ways: https://www.wikihow.com/Open-a-Coconut And there's more good stuff inside. Stand back! With a big KNIFE, <THUNK!> she splits the coconut neatly in two, revealing the hollow space inside. Then, with a SPOON, she scrapes up some coconut ‘meat’ for them to try. OLIVE (nibbling) Mm. Thank you! The inside is softer than the outside. do we need to clarify the shells are to 'protect their insides'? or can we simplify to it being 'to protect themselves.' ELINOR Here you might say :It isn't just ... that have hard covers to protect their insides. Wondering if kids will make the connection that the coconut is part of a plant. Many kids might not be familiar with a coconut and understand that it is a seed from a tree. Hey, I just realized. It isn’t just turtles, beetles and snails that have shells to protect their insides. Some plants do too! "After this line, add a line of dialogue for Mrs. Gorilla and a response from Elinor: ARI: Huh! That IS pretty cool. MRS. GORILLA: That’s right, Elinor! Lots of things in Nature have shells to protect them. Would you like me to show you? ELINOR: Yeah! We need MORE OBSERVATIONS! THEN, after Elinor says this, insert the SONG here: ""As Elinor and her friends rally around Mrs. Gorilla we hear the beginning of a song…""" ARI Huh! That IS pretty cool. ANGLE ON Elinor, having a brainstorm. "After the song ends, add this bit of dialogue: The SONG ENDS, and the kids go back to their original position around the fruit stand. OLIVE: Wow, Mrs. Gorilla, I never knew so many things in Nature had shells! MRS. GORILLA: Oh, yes, Olive, a shell is very useful to protect things. ANGLE ON Elinor, holding the coconut and having a brainstorm. ELINOR"" And I just got an idea for how to protect Ms. Mole’s cupcake! Off Elinor’s excited look, we DISSOLVE TO:" ELINOR And I just got an idea for how to protect Mrs. Mole’s cupcake. Elinor turns to Mrs. Gorilla. Delete lines 69 to 70 ELINOR (CONT’D) Mrs. Gorilla, do you mind if we keep this coconut shell? MRS. GORILLA Be my guest! Off Elinor’s excited look, we DISSOLVE TO: 5. EXT. OLIVE’S HOUSE / INT. OLIVE’S KITCHEN ESTABLISH Olive’s house. A short time later. Delete this entire sequence (Scene 5), from lines 71 to 90 aRI (Part OS; mouth full) Mm. Delishush . Mrs. Mole’s going to love her birthday cupcake. INSIDE - Ari, Elinor and Olive sit at the kitchen table. Ari and Elinor are sharing a cupcake. Two more PINK-FROSTED CUPCAKES remain on a plate in the middle of the table. OLIVE IF I can get one to school without squashing it. So what’s your idea, Elinor? ON Elinor. She holds the two coconut halves. do we want to replace 'squashed' with 'squished' since thats what we're using in the title? ELINOR hard covers? Agree with Kevin's note to change lines 72 and 73 to say "squished" instead of "squashed" for consistency Well, we know that shells can stop things from getting squashed... maybe we shouldnt have OLive say 'So?' may come across with attitude. she can just agree with a nod or 'Right' ARI / Olive (nodding) Yes? / So? ELINOR So, this coconut shell is just the right size to hold a cupcake! Elinor places one cupcake inside the half shell, and fits the other half on top, like a lid. ELINOR (CONT’D) Ta-da ! One cupcake carrier. She lifts the lid off again. The swirl of icing is intact! ARI AMAZING! But how’s the lid going to stay on? OLIVE Hang on - I might have something... Olive grabs her schoolbag and digs around inside it. Ari shares a grin with Elinor. When recording, please watch the tone of Ari's line "Of course you do" so that it doesn't come across as snarky. ARI ...in your bag? Of course you do. OLIVE Elastic bands! Olive has found TWO ELASTIC BANDS. She puts these around the (closed) coconut, which holds the halves together nicely. eLINOR That might work! Can I see? Olive hands the coconut to Ari, to pass to Elinor - but Ari’s hands are still slippery with frosting, and he fumbles it! ARI Ahh ! It drops onto the table and <ROLLS> over to Elinor, who catches it in surprise. description after 83 Olive ruefully hands him a WET-WIPE from her bottomless satchel. i think that'll take a bit of time - plus we'll want to stay on Elinor to see her action. maybe Ari just licks his fingers or we already have napkins on the table he can use ARI (GUILT-STRICKEN) (CONT’D) Sorry! Frosting fingers. He wiggles his pink-frosted fingers. Olive ruefully hands him a WET-WIPE from her bottomless satchel. Elinor opens the coconut to reveal that the cupcake is an upside-down sticky mess. She frowns. ELINOR The lid stayed on all right, but the cupcake bounced around inside. Ari grabs a spoon, ready to make the best of it. ARI Well, let’s take care of that mess! He lifts the mangled cupcake onto his plate. Just then - ELINOR Hey! Remember how Mrs. Gorilla scraped out some coconut for us? She points to the divot in the bottom of the shell. ELINOR (CONT’D) What if we carve out a little circle that’s just the right size to hold the bottom of a cupcake? Maybe then it won’t bounce around! OLIVE Let’s try it! Elinor grabs a clean spoon and gets busy carving out a niche. ari can be eating the smooshed cupcake here - mouth full as he says his line ARI Please ensure that his mouth isn't too full when he is talking Do you think it’ll work? OLIVE I sure hope so. There’s only one cupcake left! As we PAN TO the last pretty cupcake left on the plate, we DISSOLVE TO: 6. EXT. SCHOOL - DAY WIDE on the schoolyard, the next morning. Mrs. Mole supervises as her STUDENTS arrive and greet each other. Change the description below this line to: "CLOSER - Ari, Olive and Elinor huddle around Olive’s bag. They are wrapping something inside the bag." VARIOUS STUDENTS this ribbon scene is very cute ( school yard walla ) CLOSER - Ari, Olive and Elinor huddle around the elastic-closed coconut. Elinor holds it while Ari presses his finger on a ribbon that Olive is tying into a BOW on top. Change this line to: "Hold it tight, Ari. I've never gift-wrapped something like this before." Olive Hold it tight, Ari. I’ve never gift-wrapped a coconut before. Change this line to: "Hurry, here comes Ms. Mole!" ELINOR You should give it to her, Olive. The cupcake was your idea. Change this line to: "Ok, ready?" OLIVE But the coconut carrier was yours! Delete this line. ARI You can both do it. Ready? ANOTHER ANGLE - as they all turn towards their teacher. visually i feel theyd turn to say happy birthday - therefore Ari would react much sooner to being tied to it. he could start to say 'happy birthday' with the others but doesnt get through it all and goes into 'whoa, Hey!’ Ari / Olive / elinor (cheer) Happy birthday Mrs. Mole! But as the girls turn, they accidentally swing Ari around too... because his finger got tied into the bow! "Change the description above this line to: ""The kids swing around to reveal their gift: a coconut with a bow tied around it. Ms. Mole looks surprised."" Then add this line: ARI: Ms. Mole! We got you a birthday gift! Ta-dah! And add this description: ""Ari swings his arm in a sweeping motion, except... his finger got tied into the bow and he swings the coconut around!"" Then continue with line 97" ARI Whoa! Hey! Ari yanks his hand around, with the coconut tied on. He finally shakes it off - but accidentally throws the coconut! OLIVE / ELINOR Oh no! / Look out! It flies in an arc, right to Mrs. Mole - who catches it like an outfielder catching a pop fly. Change this line to: "My goodness! You kids are so thoughtful, thank you! What do we have here?" MRS. MOLE (chuckling) We could play with the fact that she assumes the coconut with a bow IS the gift - “wow! A coconut! For me!?” - then Elinor can nervously mention that she needs to open it My goodness! What do we have here? Elinor, Olive and Ari come closer, sharing a worried look. ELINOR (nervous) Uh. Better open it, and find out. ANGLE ON Mrs. Mole, as she slowly and dramatically opens the coconut carrier to reveal - - a perfectly INTACT CUPCAKE! The kids beam with relief. Add to this line: "The coconut shell worked! The cupcake didn't get squished!" ELINOR (CONT’D) The shell worked! It didn’t squish! MRS. mOLE Thank you, kids! Why that’s the nicest cupcake I’ve ever seen. She tugs the cupcake from it’s snug, carved out niche to better admire the coconut itself. No more comments after this line. Thanks! MRS. MOLE (CONT’D) And how in the world did you know about my coconut shell collection? Elinor looks blank. ELINOR Your what? For a moment, Elinor looks in amazement at her friends - then they all crack up laughing. ELINOR / OLIVE / ARI ( laugh ) We can add walla cheers for other kids but not specific birthday wishes - otherwise they’d need to be recorded. Other students ( ad lib cheers and birthday wishes) As they class laughs, cheers and wishes their teacher a ‘happy birthday’, we PULL BACK and… FADE OUT.

EWW115 "Stop the Squish D1 5-Feb19

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ELINOR WONDERS WHY EP.115 “Elinor Stops the Squish” By: Karen Moonah Elinor's Question: How do animals protect themselves? Logline: Elinor worries that the cupcake Olive wants to bring to school for Mrs. Mole will get squished - so she comes up with a nature-inspired way to protect it. SEP 1d ) - Asking Questions. Identify a problem that can be solved by the design of a new or improved object or tool. SEP 6a ) - Constructing Explanations. Use background knowledge experience and data to construct reasonable explanations and theories of natural phenomena. Elinor works out that ‘hard outsides’ protect ‘soft insides’. LS2 - Understand that animals have different body parts that are used in different ways to meet their needs, and that plants have different parts that help them survive and grow. Elinor observes the tough skin and shells of animals and plants that protect them. ND3 - Understand that structures and materials in the natural world can be used or can inspire the engineering of structures with similar function in the designed world. Elinor and friends make a cupcake carrier out of a coconut. OUTLINE: January. 17, 2019 FIRST DRAFT: February 5th, 2019 Ari Ari / Olive / elinor Crowd elinor Elinor / Olive ELINOR / Olive / ari ELINOR / Olive / ARI / farmer bear / lambs Elinor / Olive / ari / others eLINOR / Olive /a FARMER BEAR G L Lamb 1, 2, 3 / beaver LamB 1, 2, 3 / BEAVER / farmer bear / Olive / ari / elinor Mrs. Mrs. Gorilla Mrs. mole Olive Olive / ARI Olive / elinor Olive. Other students ROLLIE ROLLIE’S SISTER Sr Students Tomato mascot VARIOUS STUDENTS (V.O.) (O.S.) (O.C.) (CONT'D) (SUBTITLE) (to herself) (muffled) (os) (thoughtful) (grins) (sings) INT EXT I/E 6. EXT 1 A SOUVENIR STAND DROP LADDER BEAVERS' PRACTICE AREA SCHOOLYARD CLASSROOM MRS. GORILLA'S JUICE CART INT. CLASSROOM DAY NIGHT AFTERNOON MORNING EVENING LATER MOMENTS LATER CONTINUOUS THE NEXT DAY MINUTES LATER CUT TO: FADE IN: FADE OUT. FADE TO: DISSOLVE TO: BACK TO: MATCH CUT TO: JUMP CUT TO: FADE TO BLACK. ‘fluff’ wipe to: Order Title Location ARI ARI