Great revisions! This script keeps getting better and better. Very few line notes from us. Thanks! Ext. A clearing in the forest - day, day 1 One of the earth science performance expectations in the NGSS states "Construct an argument supported by evidence for how plants and animals (including humans) can change the environment to meet their needs. K-ESS2-2". This epsiode does that well. The kids are discovering That some liquids in their natural evironment flow slowly and some flow fast. They learn that this can be changed by adding water. The framework goal this relates most closely with would be an in the earth systems strand that says "Understand that plants and animals can change their environment" I don't think the life science goal is a measurable learning expectation for this episode. I think it is OK to not have a life science objective? Title Card: “The Town Picnic” It’s the day of the Annual Animal Town Picnic! Everyone is gathered at a clearing in the forest. There are vegetable stands and different activities in the background. ELINOR and her mother are walking around the picnic grounds. Elinor I just love the Town Picnic! What should we do first, Mom? Ranger RABBIT I don’t know, Elinor. Let’s see... (She looks around) Ooh , we can do wood-carving with Mrs. Beaver. We look over to Mrs. Beaver, who is speedily carving an elaborate statue from a stump of wood using her teeth. ELINOR (Excited) Ooh , yeah! Ranger RABBIT Or... Mr. Horse is giving everyone hayrides. We look over to Mr. Horse straining to pull a hay cart with the entire Hippo family on it. ELINOR (Ready to dash in that direction) Awesome! raNGER RABBIT Or... We could watch Mr. Cat at the dunking booth. We see Mr. Cat, looking at the water tank nervously as little Suzie Aardvark prepares to throw a ball. ELINOR (Still excited) Woo hoo ! We hear an off-screen <SFX:Splash> from the Dunk tank. Suddenly, Elinor's friend HAZEL calls out to them. Hazel is standing in a line next their friend ARI . HAZEL Elinor! Over here! ELINOR Look, it’s Hazel and Ari ! RaNGER RABBIT Go ahead, honey. I have to talk to Deputy Mouse. Elinor scampers over to Ari and Hazel. Elinor's mother stays behind chatting with JOE MOUSE. Ari and Hazel are in a long line with other animals. Ari is holding a sandwich. Elinor Hi, Ari ! Hi, Hazel! Whatcha doing? HaZEL Ari is waiting in line for ketchup. ELINOR Ketchup? ARI Not just any ketchup... I'm waiting in line for Mrs. Gorilla’s super special, World Famous, awesome ketchup! Hazel It's his favorite. ARI It’s everyone’s favorite! That’s why you have to get in line early. I can't wait to put it on my sandwich! ELINOR Oooh..Sounds yummy. Can I join you? Hazel Of course! Elinor joins the line with Ari and Hazel. After a few beats, it becomes clear that the line is not moving. ELINOR Uh... we're not moving. HAZEL I know! ARI We’ve been here forever! Even that snail is moving faster than we are! ANGLE ON: a snail inching its way across a nearby log. BACK ON: Ari puts his hands on his hips and looks down the line. Hazel shrugs and pulls her Nature book out of her satchel. Elinor sighs a deep sigh. ELINOR Sigh... Suddenly, a bee passes by, which catches Elinor's attention. She watches as the bee stops at a flower to drink its nectar and then flies off. Elinor looks interested. Ari’s stomach grumbles. ARI Oh, I hope the line moves soon, I’m getting hungry! (To Hazel) I heard that Mrs. Gorilla has a new recipe this year. It’s supposed to be even better than last year’s! HaZEL (Without looking up from her book) Well, I hope it’s worth all this waiting... Right, Elinor? We pan to reveal Elinor is no longer there. HAZEL (CONT’D) Elinor? Cut to: Ext. some distance away, near the edge of the clearing -- day, continuous Elinor is curiously following the bee from a distance as it hops from flower to flower. She passes Ranger Rabbit and Deputy Mouse. RaNGER RABBIT Oh, hi, honey. Can we make sure the stream is quite shallow? ELINOR Visual - may be a funny running gag to have Mr.cat in the BG getting dunked once in a while (when we're in the picnice grounds area. I'm following a beeeee ! Ranger Rabbit scratches her head and waves after her. Elinor keeps following the bee along the edge of the picnic grounds. After the bee leaves a flower, Elinor looks closely and sees the watery nectar the bee was drinking. The bee moves on and Elinor follows it over a narrow stream nearby, skipping over some stones to cross. Finally, the bee reaches a tree, where a high branch holds a beehive. Elinor sees something cool. ELINOR (CONT'D) Ooooooohhh ! Cut to: Ext. the narrow stream near the edge of the clearing -- day, continous We see Ari and Hazel cross the stream and walk into the trees looking for Elinor. (NOTE: The picnic grounds are visible in the background). HAZEL Elinor! Where are you? Suddenly, Elinor calls out to them. EliNOR Hazel! Ari ! Stop!!! Ari and Hazel freeze. ElINOR (CONT’D) Don’t. Move. You are about to get honeyed. Ari and Hazel look up to where Elinor is pointing. High above them is the bee hive, buzzing with a couple of bees. Some of the honey from the hive has dripped down from branch to branch and there's a big glop of it on a branch right over Hazel and Ari's head that's about to drop. Ari Aah ! There’s a dramatic moment. HazEL Aaaah ! Nothing happens. The honey is really gooey and the drop just stretches in slow motion but doesn't droop down just yet. The friends are surprised. Elinor looks puzzled. ElinOR Hmm? She jumps up and down to get a closer look at the glop of honey. "Lines 35-38: We thought it was a little odd that Elinor comments that she's never seen anything so goopy before... does this mean she's never seen honey before? Wondering if it would read a little better with some slight restructuring: 35: Elinor: That's... SO... Interesting! Honey is soooo goopy! 36: Hazel: I can't see! Ari flies up to see it 37: Ari: It moves so slowly... 38: Elinor: I wonder why. (in response to ""It moves so slowly."")" ELINOR (CONT’D) (In between jumps) That’s... SO... Interesting! I've never seen something so goopy before! Ari flies up to see it. may have Ari say this line as if in slow-motion Ari It moves so slowly... Hazel stands on her tippy-toes trying to get a look. HAZEL I can’t see! Back on the ground, Elinor looks puzzled. Elinor I wonder why honey is sooo goopy ! Ari Yeah... ELINOR I saw the bee get the juice from the flower, but that juice was really watery! How do the bees turn something so runny into something so goopy ? ARI Hmmm ... Maybe they cook it! (He mimics a stirring motion) Like soup! ELINOR Yeah! Or maybe they squeeeeze it! Suddenly, Hazel remembers something. HAZEL Wait, I just saw this in my Nature book! She takes out her Nature book again and opens it. ANGLE ON: We see the book from behind her, and we see the illustrations come to life as Hazel narrates. Jorge and daniel - The book illustrations - Are we treating this like the Ms.Mole book moment from the pilot - bees designed in a cartoony style? or are we making this science moment realistic. The reason I'm asking is because - If its 'cartoony' then we will be able to make the 'spitting of the nectar' read visually clear. If it's to be kept realistic, then that'll be a little difficult to read - and if so, then maybe Hazel should explain whats happening to support the action, and then we cut to Ari reacting in line 45 HAZEL (O.S.) (CONT’D ) ) It says here that bees get the nectar (that’s the juice from the flower) and then they bring it back to the bee hive. The illustrations show a bee collecting nectar, then flying back to the hive, where it spits the nectar out into a honeycomb. ON: Ari Ari (Making a face) Whoa! That's cool... BACK ON: The book. HAZEL (O.S.) Then the bees use their wings to fan it, and that takes out some of the water that’s inside of the flower juice. We see the bees flapping their wings at the nectar. Little water droplet icons flutter away from it until the nectar turns into golden honey. Agree with Sara's comment. We know this was added to address an earlier note from us (thank you!), but we don't actually think it's additive. So let's cut 47 and go straight to 48. HAZEL (CONT'D) I don't think this content is needed..from a 4 year old point of view space and time are not really important matters for bees. The bees turn the juice into honey because it lasts longer and takes up less space. This line is all the reasonging they need (: EliNOR Ohhh ... so taking the water out is what makes honey goopy ! we should try to come up with unique catchphrases for our characters - something repeatable ie 'That's bat-tastic!' - just spitballing Ari That’s awesome! Ari flaps his wings at Elinor and Hazel, blowing them with a gust of wind. The kids laugh. When the dust settles, Elinor looks up at the bee hive. Elinor Hmm, let's see what other goopy things we can find! We need MORE OBSERVATIONS! With that, we hear the beginning of a ditty: ELINOR, Hazel and ARI ( singing ) Some things are goopy , others runny and soupy! Goopy things move really slow, Runny things really go! All around us we can see Things are goopy or watery In the stream or in the tree (in reference to the tree) Interesting for you and me! As they sing, the kids revisit the flower and its nectar, and also revisit the beehive and the slow-flowing honey glop. The song ends with the kids in the same spot where the song started and they are laughing again. Suddenly, we pick up the drama again, and we see the honey drop is actually about to drop this time. Elinor notices it. It looks like it’s about to fall on Hazel. Hazel (Shielding her head) Oh no! Right as the drop is about to fall on her, Ari jumps up and intercepts the glop. He lands back down and is now covered in honey. ELINOR Ari ! HAZEL Are you ok !? You saved me! S&P - Honey on his eyes? - perhaps its just on his head ARI (Wiping honey off his eyes) My mom always says I’m really (licking the honey) sweet. The kids giggle. "I'm wondering if we can get more language/ description here..Taking water OUT made the honey goopy and drip slowly, and adding water back IN made it runnier and drip fast! by adding slowly and fast we are getting at the opposite comparison language amd cpnnecting goopy to flow." HAZEL How are we going to get all this goopy honey off you? Elinor pokes at the honey with her finger. ElinoR It’s so gooey. She has an idea. Can Elinor add “I wonder” to this to highlight her prediction? “Hmm…I wonder…if taking the water out makes it…” ELINOR (CONT’D) Hmm, if taking the water OUT makes the honey goopy ... then maybe putting water back IN will make it... less goopy ? Hazel catches on. "We should probably get a reaction from Ari - maybe even just before he gets sprayed ' wait, wait, wait!' - again S&P - clearing his eyes from Honey may be an issue - just his head" HaZEL We need water! Hazel runs back to the stream and sucks up a trunk-full of water. She runs back and douses Ari . Ari , now soaked, is able to clear his eyes. Elinor watches as the honey turns more liquidy by the water and starts to run off Ari . ELINOR Taking water OUT made the honey goopy , and adding water back IN made it runnier! Ari beats his wings to dry off, sending water droplets in the direction of Elinor and Hazel. Elinor and hazel Ah!/Hey! Ari Sorry! They giggle. At that moment, Ari’s stomach growls again. Can we get a rection from Ari off the top after his stomach growls 'aughhh' Ari (CONT’D) I’m glad we figured that out, but can we go back to my sandwich, please? His stomach growls again. Fade out. Fade in: Ext. The town picnic line for ketchup -- day, shortly after Elinor and her friends come back to the same spot they were before, and one of the kids waiting in line hands Ari back his sandwich. Hazel The line hasn’t moved! Ari No one has gotten their ketchup?? The animals in line shrug. We hear some of their stomachs grumbling. Elinor looks curious again. Here there is an opportunity to have the adult to introduce a more sephsicated vocabulary...thick ketchup that wont flow from the bottle...then elinor could say "You mean its goopy?" EliNOR Hmmm ... I wonder why? Let's find out! Elinor walks towards the head of the line in search of answers. Cut to: Ext. The town picnic, mrs. Gorilla’s ketchup stand -- day, continuous Elinor and her friends arrive at the head of the line. We see there’s a bit of a commotion. Elinor's Mom seems to be mediating between an exasperated MRS. GORILLA and some hungry animals in line. Mrs. Gorilla Nobody appreciates quality! Alejandro Possum But I’m hungry! ELINOR Mom, what’s going on? "dialogue - 'but it's SO goopy it takes a long time to come out of the bottle!' - could add 'Really long time..'" Ranger rabbit Oh hi, Elinor. Well... Mrs. Gorilla has made her delicious ketchup, but it's SO goopy it takes a long time to come out of the bottle! Elinor and her friends look closely at the bottle of ketchup that Alejandro Possum is holding over his sandwich. They see that the ketchup barely flows at all. Alejandro Possum I’ve been here all day and my arm is getting tired! Mrs. Gorilla It’s worth the wait! Fine eating takes time! If it isn't goopy , it isn't good! The animals in line start to get restless. Ranger rabbit Let’s calm down, everyone... Can Ari not grab the bottle from Alejandro Possum? We just want to make sure he's being polite. Ari could add some dialogue to support this action of Ari trying it and then Hazel ie Ari "May I have a go?' - Possum nods. Then Hazel 'Here, let me try' (Whispering to Hazel and Elinor) We have a saucy situation! Ari grabs the bottle of ketchup from Alejandro Possum. He goes through several contortions with the bottle trying to get the sauce to flow faster. He fails. Hazel gives it a try and shakes the bottle with her trunk, but nothing happens. Elinor, who's been watching her friends, sees the ketchup barely moving and seems to have a thought. ELINOR Ari , Hazel... I wonder if we can solve the ketchup problem in the same way we solved the honey problem... HAZEL You mean..? ARI Add water to it! ELINOR (To Mrs. Gorilla) May we try changing something in your ketchup, Mrs. Gorilla? "could add ' But, I’ve been working on this recipe for a whole year to make it perfectly delicious!' since this has been perfection in her eyes" Mrs. GORILLA But, I’ve been working on this recipe for a whole year to make it delicious! Ranger rabbit (Gently) Mrs. Gorilla... sometimes to solve a problem, you have to be willing to try something new. Mrs. Gorilla begrudgingly moves aside. Elinor hops up a stool and stands before the ingredients table. She grabs a bottle of ketchup and a bottle of water. Elinor Ok , let's try mixing in some water to make it runnier... Mrs. Gorilla looks disapproving. "may not need 'of water' since she just mentioned water in line 81 'Ok, let's try mixing in some water to make it runnier...Just a tiny bit to start!' she mixes it - does she cap it and shake it? Is there something specific you'd like her to do?" ELINOR (CONT'D) Just a tiny bit of water to start! Elinor adds a few drops of water. She mixes it, but when she turns it over, nothing has changed. It's still super too goopy . ELINOR (CONT'D) Hmm. It's still too goopy . Let's try a little bit more... Mrs. Gorilla doesn't look happy but Elinor adds a medium amount of water to the ketchup. She mixes it, and when she turns the bottle over, she sees that it flows at a nice and even speed into a mixing bowl on the ingredients table. HaZEL Yes! Ari Now the ketchup can drip down faster! Ari takes the bottle and pours some over Alejandro Possum’s sandwich. With all the animals looking anxiously, Alejandro takes a bite. AlEJANDRO POSSUM (After a pause, and still munching) It’s delicious! All the animals cheer. Mrs. GORILLA Hmmph , let me try that. Mrs. Gorilla pours a bit of the sauce on her finger and tastes it. Her expression changes from grumpy to surprised. MrS. GORILLA (CONT’D) It... it tastes even better now! The animals cheer again. Ranger RABBIT Phew! Elinor repeats some lines from the ditty. after singing line 90 - suggets a x-dissolve to show passage of time - everyone enjoying their favourite food with ketchup Elinor (Singing) Some things are goopy , Others runny and soupy! If it's goopy and really slow, Just add water to make it go! The line starts moving faster now, and everyone is enjoying Mrs. Gorilla’s ketchup on their favorite picnic food. Mrs. Gorilla looks very happy to see everyone’s positive reaction. Ari takes a bite out of his sandwich with the sauce on it. ARI Mmm ! Elinor, I'm glad you used your powers of observation to do goop . His stomach gurgles. "to make this correction clearer ""Oops, I mean to do 'good'."" maybe Elinor says 'Now lets go play!' - then she leads them off" ARI (CONT'D) Oops, I mean "good." Everyone has a laugh. Elinor leads them off towards one of the fun activities. END.

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ELINOR'S TOWN EP 101 THE TOWN PICNIC Written by Jorge Cham & Daniel Whiteson Elinor's Question: How can we make the ketchup flow? Logline : Elinor and friends learn how bees make honey from nectar, and solve the sticky ketchup problem. Curriculum Goals: LS3a: Observe ways that animals and plants get what they need to live and grow. (How bees make honey from nectar) ND3: Understand that structures and materials in the natural world can be used or can inspire the engineering of structures with similar function in the designed world. ( Goopiness of the honey inspires the solution to goopiness of the ketchup) SEP1a: Demonstrate curiosity about the greater world outside of their local environment. (Elinor is curious about the bee and how it makes honey) SEP3e: Design and build a solution to a simple problem (add water to the goopy ketchup) SEP6a: Use background knowledge experiences, and data to construct reasonable explanations and theories of natural phenomena. (They understand the honey's goopiness ) FIRST DRAFT: 26-Nov-18 SECOND DRAFT: 11-Dec-18 (V.O.) (O.S.) (O.C.) (CONT'D) (SUBTITLE) Int Ext I/E Day Night Afternoon Morning Evening Later Moments Later Continuous The Next Day Cut To: Fade In: Fade Out. Fade To: Dissolve To: Back To: Match Cut To: Jump Cut To: Fade To Black.